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CTYB8.0: broke boards are broke (alternate title: Meck Dec Day? More like Meck Meh Day)

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I thought Red Lobster going bankrupt because of the “Endless Shrimp” deal was a meme, but it’s actually true.

 
I ate the hottest pepper I've ever eaten in my life on Saturday. I nearly vomited. I forced myself to keep it down because I was terrified of having it back in my mouth.

It was brutal. Mouth full of thick saliva. Red face. Confused. Intense stomach pain and an urge to purge. Just...complete disaster.

I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I know this demon must get out of me. I fear the moment when whatever is left of that hellish veggie slides out of my balloon knot. I worry there will be blood.

However, it's now deep into Tuesday and that is way past my normal turnover rate. Is it possible that my innards have calmed the fire?
 
speculate on the outcome of a theoretical fight between Smaugh and Glaurung

ChatGPT
A theoretical fight between Smaug, the fearsome dragon from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit," and Glaurung, the mighty dragon from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Silmarillion," would undoubtedly be an epic clash of titans, each possessing immense power and cunning.

Smaug, known for his cunning intellect and deadly fire-breath, would likely rely on his size and strength to dominate the battlefield. His armored scales would provide formidable protection against Glaurung's attacks, and his ability to fly would give him an advantage in terms of mobility and strategy.

Glaurung, on the other hand, is described as the Father of Dragons, possessing a hypnotic gaze and the ability to weave powerful illusions. While perhaps not as physically imposing as Smaug, Glaurung's mental abilities and strategic thinking could prove to be significant assets in the battle.

Ultimately, the outcome of such a confrontation would depend on various factors, including the terrain of the battlefield, the strategies employed by each dragon, and whether they have any allies or resources at their disposal. It's possible that the fight could end in a stalemate, with both dragons sustaining significant injuries but ultimately surviving to fight another day.

However, if forced to speculate on a victor, one might lean towards Smaug due to his larger size and more overtly destructive abilities. Nevertheless, Glaurung's cunning and magical prowess could present unexpected challenges, making the outcome difficult to predict with certainty. In the end, it would likely be a battle for the ages, leaving a trail of devastation in its wake.
 
ChatGPT dragon fight: full of sound and fury, yet signifying nothing.

Now in the style of muppets:

Scene: Smaug vs. Glaurung - A Muppet Show Extravaganza​

Host: Kermit the FrogKermit stands center stage, holding a microphone.

Kermit: Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here! Tonight, we have a truly fiery spectacle for you all. Please welcome our two contestants: from the Lonely Mountain, the golden terror, Smaug! And from the depths of Angband, the original bad boy, Glaurung!

The curtain rises to reveal a stage set like a fantastical landscape. Smaug and Glaurung, both large puppet dragons, enter from opposite sides.

Smaug: strutting with exaggerated arrogance Behold, I am Smaug the Magnificent! The flames of my wrath will turn you to ash!

Glaurung: slithering with a sinister grin Ha! I am Glaurung the Deceiver! Your gold is no match for my mind control!

Kermit: off to the side This should be interesting, folks!

Miss Piggy: dressed as a medieval maiden, swoons dramatically Oh, save me, Kermie! Those dragons are so scary!

Kermit: trying to maintain composure Uh, thank you, Miss Piggy. Let's get back to the action!

Smaug: breathing a small puff of fire You dare challenge me, worm? I'll roast you for breakfast!

Glaurung: hypnotic eyes glowing Roast me? Your breath is nothing but a warm breeze. Witness the power of my mind!

Smaug: flinching Hey, no fair! You can't use hypnosis! We're supposed to be fighting fire with fire!

Glaurung: laughing Who needs rules in a dragon duel?

Fozzie Bear, dressed as a knight, awkwardly stumbles onto the stage.

Fozzie: Wocka wocka! What's a dragon's favorite music? Heavy metal! Ahhh!

Both dragons pause, looking at Fozzie incredulously.

Smaug: groaning That joke was terrible.

Glaurung: nodding Truly horrendous. But I admire your courage, bear.

Animal, dressed as a blacksmith, runs in banging cymbals.

Animal: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Kermit: trying to regain control Uh, thanks, Animal. Let's maybe tone it down a bit...

The Swedish Chef enters, holding a large pot and spoon.

Swedish Chef: Bork bork bork! I make-a the dragon stew!

Smaug: indignant Stew? You dare cook me?

Glaurung: equally offended Cook? I am no ingredient!

Chaos ensues as various Muppets, including Gonzo with a cannon and Rizzo the Rat in armor, join the fray, all adding to the madness.

Gonzo: firing himself from the cannon For glory!

Rizzo: dodging fire I didn't sign up for this!

Kermit: exasperated Okay, okay! Everyone calm down! This is getting out of hand!

Miss Piggy, now wearing a queen's crown, steps forward imperiously.

Miss Piggy: Enough! I declare myself the winner! Moi is the true star here!

Both dragons stop and look at Miss Piggy, then at each other. They burst out laughing, shaking the stage with their mirth.

Smaug: between laughs Perhaps she's right!

Glaurung: nodding, still chuckling Indeed, the lady has spoken.

Kermit: sighing with relief Well, folks, it looks like this dragon duel ends in a draw, thanks to Miss Piggy. Let's give a big hand to our contestants!

The audience erupts in applause as the curtain falls. Kermit, now alone on stage, takes a deep breath.

Kermit: smiling Just another typical night on The Muppet Show. Thanks for watching, and good night!

The classic Muppet theme song plays as the credits roll.

End Scene​

 
Donkey Deac Doug said:
I ate the hottest pepper I've ever eaten in my life on Saturday. I nearly vomited. I forced myself to keep it down because I was terrified of having it back in my mouth.

It was brutal. Mouth full of thick saliva. Red face. Confused. Intense stomach pain and an urge to purge. Just...complete disaster.

I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I know this demon must get out of me. I fear the moment when whatever is left of that hellish veggie slides out of my balloon knot. I worry there will be blood.

However, it's now deep into Tuesday and that is way past my normal turnover rate. Is it possible that my innards have calmed the fire?
Click to expand...
No one believes the bolded.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
speculate on the outcome of a theoretical fight between Smaugh and Glaurung

ChatGPT
A theoretical fight between Smaug, the fearsome dragon from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit," and Glaurung, the mighty dragon from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Silmarillion," would undoubtedly be an epic clash of titans, each possessing immense power and cunning.

Smaug, known for his cunning intellect and deadly fire-breath, would likely rely on his size and strength to dominate the battlefield. His armored scales would provide formidable protection against Glaurung's attacks, and his ability to fly would give him an advantage in terms of mobility and strategy.

Glaurung, on the other hand, is described as the Father of Dragons, possessing a hypnotic gaze and the ability to weave powerful illusions. While perhaps not as physically imposing as Smaug, Glaurung's mental abilities and strategic thinking could prove to be significant assets in the battle.

Ultimately, the outcome of such a confrontation would depend on various factors, including the terrain of the battlefield, the strategies employed by each dragon, and whether they have any allies or resources at their disposal. It's possible that the fight could end in a stalemate, with both dragons sustaining significant injuries but ultimately surviving to fight another day.
However, if forced to speculate on a victor, one might lean towards Smaug due to his larger size and more overtly destructive abilities. Nevertheless, Glaurung's cunning and magical prowess could present unexpected challenges, making the outcome difficult to predict with certainty. In the end, it would likely be a battle for the ages, leaving a trail of devastation in its wake.
Click to expand...
Pick a god damn side, you coward.
 
Donkey Deac Doug said:
I ate the hottest pepper I've ever eaten in my life on Saturday. I nearly vomited. I forced myself to keep it down because I was terrified of having it back in my mouth.

It was brutal. Mouth full of thick saliva. Red face. Confused. Intense stomach pain and an urge to purge. Just...complete disaster.

I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I know this demon must get out of me. I fear the moment when whatever is left of that hellish veggie slides out of my balloon knot. I worry there will be blood.

However, it's now deep into Tuesday and that is way past my normal turnover rate. Is it possible that my innards have calmed the fire?
Click to expand...
Can you prove that you’re not dead?
 
Can someone ask the AI whether a hot pepper can explode @Donkey Deac Doug’s butthole?
 
It sounds like you're referring to a collection of eclectic and somewhat humorous elements. This combination could be interpreted in various ways, such as a scene in a story, characters in a comic, or a creative prompt for an art piece. Let’s break down each element to see how they might come together:

In a small, quirky town, there lives a stubborn donkey named Deac Doug. Known for his surprising wisdom and occasional antics, Deac Doug often finds himself in peculiar situations. One day, he accidentally eats a hot pepper, causing quite a commotion. His owner, a gentle giant with notably large hands, tries to calm him down, but it’s someone's mom – the local matriarch with a reputation for fixing any problem – who finally soothes Deac Doug by giving him milk. During all the chaos, there’s a comical moment where the owner trips and lands on his butt, making everyone, including Deac Doug, burst into laughter.
 
Deacfreak07 said:
Can someone ask the AI whether a hot pepper can explode @Donkey Deac Doug’s butthole?
Click to expand...
"It's highly unlikely for a hot pepper to cause an explosion in someone's digestive system, including the rectum. While spicy foods can cause discomfort, irritation, and even a burning sensation in the digestive tract, they don't have the ability to generate enough pressure to cause an explosion. However, consuming extremely spicy peppers can lead to intense gastrointestinal distress, including diarrhea and abdominal pain. It's always best to consume spicy foods in moderation and be mindful of your tolerance level. If you're concerned about discomfort or reactions to spicy foods, it's a good idea to consult with a healthcare professional."
 
"Once upon a time in the quaint town of Pepperfield, there lived a rather peculiar fellow known as Donkey Deac Doug. Now, Donkey Deac Doug was not your ordinary chap; he had a penchant for adventure and a love for all things spicy.

One fateful day, as Donkey Deac Doug strolled through the bustling marketplace, his eyes gleamed with excitement as he spotted a vendor selling the hottest peppers in all the land. With a mischievous grin, he purchased the spiciest pepper he could find, known as the Inferno Fury.

Filled with daring bravado, Donkey Deac Doug decided to test his limits and consume the Inferno Fury in one daring bite. As the fiery juices exploded in his mouth, he felt an exhilarating rush of heat coursing through his veins.

But alas, Donkey Deac Doug soon discovered that he had underestimated the power of the Inferno Fury. As he bravely ventured on, the intense heat intensified with each passing moment, causing his stomach to churn and rumble ominously.

In a whirlwind of agony, Donkey Deac Doug found himself racing through the streets, desperately seeking relief from the searing inferno raging within him. Passersby watched in both horror and amusement as he sprinted past, his frantic cries echoing through the town.

Finally, with a mighty roar, Donkey Deac Doug reached the safety of his humble abode. Collapsing onto his bed, he clutched his aching belly and vowed never to underestimate the power of a spicy pepper again.

And so, the legend of Donkey Deac Doug and the exploding pepper became a cautionary tale told throughout Pepperfield for generations to come, a reminder to always respect the fiery fury of the hottest peppers."
 
Donkey Deac Doug said:
I ate the hottest pepper I've ever eaten in my life on Saturday. I nearly vomited. I forced myself to keep it down because I was terrified of having it back in my mouth.

It was brutal. Mouth full of thick saliva. Red face. Confused. Intense stomach pain and an urge to purge. Just...complete disaster.

I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I know this demon must get out of me. I fear the moment when whatever is left of that hellish veggie slides out of my balloon knot. I worry there will be blood.

However, it's now deep into Tuesday and that is way past my normal turnover rate. Is it possible that my innards have calmed the fire?
Click to expand...

What kind of pepper? One year I grew something called a white lighting habanero in my garden. Prolific plant that generated like a hundred peppers. I ate one off the plant and legit threw up outside. So I think I pretty much threw out the hundred peppers as they were unusably hot.
 
tsywake said:
Lets play a game. My surgery involved a 2 level discectomy with artificial disk replacements during a 4 hour surgery, and I spent one night in the hospital. Any guesses as to the total charge?
Click to expand...
$63,000
 
I'm preparing a small grant proposal with someone else on a Google Doc. Am I an asshole for sneaking in Oxford commas even though my collaborator doesn't seem to use them?
 
tsywake said:
Lets play a game. My surgery involved a 2 level discectomy with artificial disk replacements during a 4 hour surgery, and I spent one night in the hospital. Any guesses as to the total charge?
Click to expand...
$117,483.69
 
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