QUESTION 1:
You're Levi Johnston.
You have basically 3 goals in life at this point: (1) play hockey with your buddies; (2) nail hot chicks; and (3) party your nuts off. You've just found out that you knocked up the hot daughter of the governor, who has now been nominated for VP. One of the governor's d-bag campaign guys just informed you that you have to marry the chick. Not cool. So, the big question:
Who do you vote for in November?
McCain/Palin: If you vote for McCain/Palin and they win, you're stuck actually having to marry the chick, which would suck big time. That means not only do you have to live with her (i.e., can't fulfill dream of getting bitchin' bachelor pad with hockey buddies Logan and Noah and buying babe-magnet hot tub financed by awesome $5/cup post-graduation keg party you've been planning for 2 whole years), but you're going to have to live with the entire family of in-laws, including the 2 annoying younger daughters who are always trying to get you to color with them and the infant who ain't quite right. Also, you have to move out of Alaska and away from all your dude friends, as well as all the chicks that totally want to bang you now that you're a minor celebrity. Plus, you don't even think they play hockey in DC. On the other hand, the Vice President's family probably gets a pretty sweet mansion and you think you remember seeing some movie where the family of the VP has a personal chef on call 24/7, which would be pretty tight.
Obama/Biden: If you vote for Obama/Biden and they win, you don't have to get married at all. No more campaign team telling you what to do, making you take down your MySpace page, telling you that you have to change the voicemail greeting on your cell phone, which is currently you doing a really cool Scarface impersonation -- "At the beep, say hello to my little friend!" You don't have to move out of Alaska. You don't even have to live with the chick, although you are probably going to have to start giving her some money for the kid, which means you are going to have to pick up a few extra hours down at the docks. You don't get to live in a mansion or have a personal chef, although you can move in with Logan and Noah, who make an awesome breakfast burrito. Also, you get to keep your subscription to Penthouse Magazine.
Based on this analysis, I think he votes Obama/Biden. Thoughts?