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Hookup Mishap Stories

CDeacMan

Ishmael Smith
Joined
Mar 22, 2011
Messages
7,953
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Location
Morgantown, WV
I know everyone has had em. This is where you need to share em.

I'll start.

So there was this girl freshman year I was talking to. One random Thursday I was kind of fighting off a cold, so I decided to start drinking a few of the leftover beers I had from the previous weekend (you know because alcohol generally helps fight off a cold right?). Well about four beers in the girl shows up at my door unexpectedly. I'm surprised but certainly not upset to see her. So she comes in, I close the door and we start going at it. After making out for a few minutes on the bed with me lying on top of her, I pull away momentarily and look at her face. A huge gob of snot had leaked out of my nose and onto her face. She knows its there, and is looking horrified. So nonchalantly I just kind of wipe it off her face and say "sorry" while trying to figure out if she might still want to stick around. She was out the door in .3 seconds.
 
I posted this one on the Quad once upon a time.

I was sharing a hotel room with a nice young girl who went to a very Catholic university. On the drive down that day we had talked a lot about her religion and stuff like that.

Fast forward to when we get back from the bars that night. Things start happening, and she asks if I have a condom. I didn't, and for some reason the first thing I thought to say was "I thought you were Catholic?"

Didn't get any that night, needless to say.
 
I have so many good stories here, ill have to wait until I get home to type them up.

Sent from my SPH-M910 using Tapatalk
 
Had a girl throw up on me once. Not pleasant.
 
Home for summer and having Mom walk in while I'm getting a blowjay wasn't awesome. Though to her credit, she turned around and walked out and never once mentioned it.

While Tucker Max is quite possibly the biggest douche on the planet, his story "Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue" is one of the funniest fucking things I have ever read.
 
I had to kick a girl out my bedroom window because she was to ugly to walk past my roommates to the front door.

I went down on a girl who smelled so bad her name for the next four years was "stinky"

I got a bloody nose while humping a girl.

I had a girl squirt on me so much that I thought I had popped a hole in the water bed (yes, water bed, I am that old).

I was 69 w a girl and her chiwawa (sp?) jumped up on the bed and was licking my ass.

There are more, but it is early.
 
At post exams in 1999, a girl I knew came in to our hotel room as I was trying to drunkenly pass out on the floor and tried to get her schwerve on. I was down, but trying not to puke so had to shut it down.

[Shyamalan] The girl is an occasional poster. [/Shyamalan]
 
one friend of freekn, deaccav, and mine threw up on a girl and continued boning. i would imagine some on this board have had sex with this girl.

I once boned a chick against the wall in the shower of my crowne oaks apt and I guess the drywall behind the tiles had gotten wet and started rotting so we actually went through the wall (left a 2 foot by 2 foot hole). I had to call the apt office and tell them I fell in the shower. Not sure if they believed me or not but I didnt have to pay for the damage.
 
To start, once in high school I had mom mom's new BMW out on a date while she and my dad were at the beach.

Had went out to Raleigh, had normal high school fun, then decided to "park."

Well, things got heated up and I'm crushing it in the back seat. She was getting more and more excited, and all of a sudden she shart all over. So, I had to ride her home with poop in the back seat of the car, and then I had to clean it for WAY too long to get the smell completely out of the leather.

So that was a FAIL.
 
I posted this one on the Quad once upon a time.

I was sharing a hotel room with a nice young girl who went to a very Catholic university. On the drive down that day we had talked a lot about her religion and stuff like that.

Fast forward to when we get back from the bars that night. Things start happening, and she asks if I have a condom. I didn't, and for some reason the first thing I thought to say was "I thought you were Catholic?"

Didn't get any that night, needless to say.

any good hookup stories from the freshman year piccolo "cave"?
 
At Wake, I had a few. The best was undoubtedly when I hooked up with a girl visiting a friend of hers from U of R. It went great, and I totally handled my business up on my loft in Taylor. She passed out upon completion.

When it was all done I came back to the frat house and hooked up with another chick, forgot about the first chick and brought her back to my room, too. That went well also, but this time I was on the couch, under the loft. We both passed out and then I got gas. I kept letting out thses slient farts. eventually the smell woke up the girl up on the top bunk.

She jumped down from the bumk, looked at the second girl and said "you smell horrible" and walked out.

Awesome night.
 
At Wake, I had a few. The best was undoubtedly when I hooked up with a girl visiting a friend of hers from U of R. It went great, and I totally handled my business up on my loft in Taylor. She passed out upon completion.

When it was all done I came back to the frat house and hooked up with another chick, forgot about the first chick and brought her back to my room, too. That went well also, but this time I was on the couch, under the loft. We both passed out and then I got gas. I kept letting out thses slient farts. eventually the smell woke up the girl up on the top bunk.

She jumped down from the bumk, looked at the second girl and said "you smell horrible" and walked out.

Awesome night.

I am completely losing it in my office. That is the funniest thing I've read in a looong time.
 
At Wake, I had a few. The best was undoubtedly when I hooked up with a girl visiting a friend of hers from U of R. It went great, and I totally handled my business up on my loft in Taylor. She passed out upon completion.

When it was all done I came back to the frat house and hooked up with another chick, forgot about the first chick and brought her back to my room, too. That went well also, but this time I was on the couch, under the loft. We both passed out and then I got gas. I kept letting out thses slient farts. eventually the smell woke up the girl up on the top bunk.

She jumped down from the bumk, looked at the second girl and said "you smell horrible" and walked out.

Awesome night.


:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
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