Wake Forest Fan Hotlines

Mods, please tack for reference purposes.

al-anon.org
If you find that you drink too much twice a week in January and February, contact these folks. They will walk you through their twelve-steps to sobriety. Step 1: Recognize your problem...You are a Wake fan.

batteredwomen.org
Understand that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You do not deserve this. We can help.

suicidehotline.org
They will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your shame will not last forever, and nothing is worth ending it over.

fema.gov
If your basement looks like a natural disaster after every Wake Forest basketball game, these guys will help you clean it up. If you type in codeword: Buzz on the website, they will helo in a trailer same day, no extra charge.

marriagefriendlytherapy.org
So your wife wants to leave you, not because you are belligerent after games, but because you are clearly a self-loathing loser with no hope for the future. Let's talk it out together. We can help.

aetv.com/intervention
Is there a Wake Forest fan in your family who doesn't know how to ask for help. Call us. We can help, and maybe make a show about you that will help countless others.

womblecarlyleandassociates.com
Let's say that you didn't reach any of the above help in time, and went and destroyed some public property (or set Ron Wellman's car on fire), these are the guys that can help you. I have been told that if you produce a Wake Forest diploma, you get an automatic plea of insanity.

These are websites not hotlines. But while were at it, I think you could throw in:

Petfinder.com- if you can't stop kicking the dog, please do the right thing and give it a better home.

Craigslist.com- probably the best place to find replacement remotes/TVs in your area for cheap.

tigerswood said:

These are websites not hotlines. But while were at it, I think you could throw in:

Petfinder.com- if you can't stop kicking the dog, please do the right thing and give it a better home.

Craigslist.com- probably the best place to find replacement remotes/TVs in your area for cheap.

Click to expand...

Sorry. Very drunk.

Turd Ferguson said:

Mods, please tack for reference purposes.

al-anon.org
If you find that you drink too much twice a week in January and February, contact these folks. They will walk you through their twelve-steps to sobriety. Step 1: Recognize your problem...You are a Wake fan.

Click to expand...

tigerswood said:

These are websites not hotlines..

Click to expand...

Turd Ferguson said:

Sorry. Very drunk.

Click to expand...

I call RJ out all the time for being a hypocritical jackass.

I want to do the exact opposite here.

Well done, all around.

vtwhat etc said:

I call RJ out all the time for being a hypocritical jackass.

I want to do the exact opposite here.

Well done, all around.

Click to expand...

I'm still at step 1.

I felt like I was being a bit of a dick, but glad it wasn't taken that way. They need to start selling liquor at the Joel for our troubled masses. Actually just typing that made me laugh. More like our troubled scattered patrons.