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If You Were Athletic Director

Winkathomelygirl

Winkathomelygirl

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If you were named Athletic Director today, based on your personal experience, what changes would you make and what visable and measurable changes would we see by February 15th 2013?
 
ALL HOME GAMES PLAYED IN THE MINES OF MORIA!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
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To [Redacted]: We have six games left, a few more if we make a run in the ACC tourney. If we go 0-6, OR if we lose a game by more than 30 points, I am giving John Groce a call to be the next head coach of WFU. I'll give you a pass on Duke.
 
Here is my platform as potential AD and my ten point plan at making Wake amazing...

1. Volleyball girls wear bikinis and we have the fire sprinklers spraying on them during games.
2. soccer girls wear bikinis and tear up the grass on soccer field and wet the field down before every game.
3. tennis girls wear bikinis and must make grunting noises on every hit
4. field hockey girls--had some lesbians on the team when I was at wake so make them wear bikinis and see what unfolds.
5. Fire Buzz's ass and use the revenue from the obvious increase in attendance at the above mentioned non revenue sports to pay Shaka Smart double what he makes now.
6. increased recruiting action due to hot female athletes partially naked combined with a halfway decent coach causes Wake Bball to win games. Winning games leads to even better recruiting so that in 2 years we become the first undefeated team since Indiana.
7. build a statue of myself on the magnolia quad
8. charge fees to pilgrims making trips to the mecca of my statue.
9. use these fees to hire female tutors/models/strippers and on field slushy machine for football team players.
10. increased recruits for football due to #9 leads to first national championship in football meaning Wake has NC in football and basketball in same year.

Now that is the culture we can believe in....Do I have your vote?
 
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Hire Insane Clown Posse to perform at halftime. That should get the students back in the seats and generate some enthusiasm. I hear the kids today love the rap music.
 
Live blogs for recruiting and in game coaching so that this message board can directly create the dynasty it desires.
 
I'll tell you something for nothing... PhD is our new offensive coordinator. Grobe has no say in the matter.
 
Plead for a meeting with Pres Hatch & trustees to get us some breaks on admissions and some classes these guys can take. Players at Georgetown go to their night school and it hasn't hurt Georgetown's academic rep. Duke bball can apparently go to NC Central for summer school to stay eligible plus it is all open curriculum and Duke academics are not fazed

Baylor is a small private school in the middle of nowhere Texas and has done something right to get football & basketball & womens basketball relevant again.

Et al
 
TheReff said:
Plead for a meeting with Pres Hatch & trustees to get us some breaks on admissions and some classes these guys can take. Players at Georgetown go to their night school and it hasn't hurt Georgetown's academic rep. Duke bball can apparently go to NC Central for summer school to stay eligible plus it is all open curriculum and Duke academics are not fazed

Baylor is a small private school in the middle of nowhere Texas and has done something right to get football & basketball & womens basketball relevant again.

Et al
Click to expand...

Reff comes through with his "let's lower our standards" argument. Not surprising from someone who seems to have such low standards for his own profession.
 
We're acedemics a problem in the last six years when we went to the Orange Bowl and were ranked #1 or #2 in the country in basketball?
 
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