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The Pit Parenting Thread

I'll do it, Say Hey. I may not be very responsible, or clean, or well off, or a good role model, but I figure two little ones can probably score me some chicks who will like the kids and make them not want to have kids themselves, saving me a lot of money and her vagina in the process.
 
El Chupacabra said:
I'll do it, Say Hey. I may not be very responsible, or clean, or well off, or a good role model, but I figure two little ones can probably score me some chicks who will like the kids and make them not want to have kids themselves, saving me a lot of money and her vagina in the process.
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Friendship is a truly beautiful thing.
 
El Chupacabra said:
I'll do it, Say Hey. I may not be very responsible, or clean, or well off, or a good role model, but I figure two little ones can probably score me some chicks who will like the kids and make them not want to have kids themselves, saving me a lot of money and her vagina in the process.
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Hahah what a catch! Not well off or responsible or clean or a good role model.
 
Chupe needs a role model. May as well be a couple of kids he's responsible for.

Also, Chupe, introduce the kids as your niece/nephew. That will get you the "omg he would totally be a great father" pu nanny. Then drop the orphan card. That's the real "he's such a wonderful person" pu nanny. The latter would close anyone. Next level sh!t.
 
awakeandready said:
Ugh a will. Something we've been meaning to do as well but yeah how the heck do you choose? I think it would be my parents for now. His are divorced and neither really in a life place for a kid I don't think. My mom will retire soon and my parents are p young. Otherwise it would be one of HTTDs sister. One is married and has a kid our son's age so that makes sense.
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Lalark did ours, talk to her, she'll help you out
 
Give the kid to El Chupe so he can be like Adam Sandler in Big Daddy and get laid all the time.
 
BiffTannen said:
Give the kid to El Chupe so he can be like Adam Sandler in Big Daddy and get laid all the time.
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Hell yeah, what's another one when I already have Say Hey's two? Bring it AWAR/HTTD. One day if want to do home run derby I'll then be able to have someone pitch, catch, and shag/climb the fence/run into the creek, so I can avoid dirty needles and poison ivy.

OR, I can get an adjustable rim and do a dunk competition, and have someone "guard" me so I can posterize them, someone retrieving loose balls, and someone commentating me as the hype man for my jams.

OR, I can have them rub my feet/massage my shoulders/fetch me my drinks. This is perfect. I'M GONNA BE A DAD!!!!
 
El Chupacabra said:
Hell yeah, what's another one when I already have Say Hey's two? Bring it AWAR/HTTD. One day if want to do home run derby I'll then be able to have someone pitch, catch, and shag/climb the fence/run into the creek, so I can avoid dirty needles and poison ivy.

OR, I can get an adjustable rim and do a dunk competition, and have someone "guard" me so I can posterize them, someone retrieving loose balls, and someone commentating me as the hype man for my jams.

OR, I can have them rub my feet/massage my shoulders/fetch me my drinks. This is perfect. I'M GONNA BE A DAD!!!!
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Consider yourself our go-to. Gonna need some sort of reassurance that our kid won't ALWAYS be the one climbing into the dirty needle creek being that he's a ginger and the fact that you actually know (knew, RIP) the Say Heys.
 
so long as you have sufficient life insurance, your kids will simply be a TIME burden on your surviving loved ones, not a financial hassle. Not that the time isn't huge, mind you, but it's still a lot easier to raise kids when you can afford to buy them all the shit they need.
 
Having your kid legit read a book to you is one of the coolest feelings.
 
Twice in the last week my 3.5 year old fell asleep for the night without peeing first. Both times we propped him up by the toilet, pulled down his pants, whispered in his ear that he could go pee-pee, tickled his back, and he went without even waking up.
 
Only on the parenting thread can you write something like that and have it sound totally normal.
 
06deacon said:
Only on the parenting thread can you write something like that and have it sound totally normal.
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Exactly. Yet when RicoSuave says the same thing about a goth chick at his local theater everyone loses their minds.
 
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