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The Pit Parenting Thread

i wish i had the nuts to stand up to the wife on this shit:

http://deadspin.com/down-with-big-birthday-1502731122

The Solution

Here is what I propose, to end all of this angst and toil: No more birthday parties. No more paper hats. No more awkwardly standing in the corner and mouthing out the lyrics to "Happy Birthday" for another kid so that you look invested in his celebration. No more $400 gym parties. You get cupcakes at home, with your family, and the dinner of your choice. And maybe a couple of gifts. Not an ongoing conveyor belt of gifts from friends and families and uncles and the Franklin Mint. If we don't get a hold on Big Birthday right now, this will just keep spiraling and spiraling until we're all fucking broke and destitute because everyone in the class had to have his or her birthday party in Majorca. No more.
 
When did this birthday phenomenon emerge? When I was a kid, we would have sleepover birthday parties with like 5-6 friends, tops.
 
I had the most awesome sprinkler/slip n slide party in first grade.
 
I have a summer b'day and was almost always travelling during in for a soccer tourney growing up. I don't actually ever remember having a b'day party. Maybe one when I was like 4 but that's it. Probs why I don't care about my b'day at all as an adult. My wife is the complete opposite and celebrates her entire birth month.
 
I have a summer b'day and was almost always travelling during in for a soccer tourney growing up. I don't actually ever remember having a b'day party. Maybe one when I was like 4 but that's it. Probs why I don't care about my b'day at all as an adult. My wife is the complete opposite and celebrates her entire birth month.

One of thooose, huh
 
one of those. unfortunately my best friend's b'day is 2 days before my wife's, and he's even more of a diva about his b'day. It's a rough time of year for me.
 
I have a summer b'day and was almost always travelling during in for a soccer tourney growing up. I don't actually ever remember having a b'day party. Maybe one when I was like 4 but that's it. Probs why I don't care about my b'day at all as an adult. My wife is the complete opposite and celebrates her entire birth month.

One of thooose, huh

Yeah, one of my friends does this. It is kind of obnoxious.

I love parties and celebrations and what not, but since a biggish thing we did for my 30th, I can't even recall if I celebrated my last two birthdays (except maybe with LadyDeacToy).

I was thinking about it recently because I just got an email yesterday from one friend announcing a birthday HH for our other friend next week. I can't recall really celebrating anyone's birthday recently, so thought it was a little odd.
 
When did this birthday phenomenon emerge? When I was a kid, we would have sleepover birthday parties with like 5-6 friends, tops.

I don't know, but it is fully out of hand. We have at least one birthday party per weekend, often 2 or 3. It is pretty ridiculous, because everybody just gets the gifts from their kid's party, puts them away, and then recycles them to the other kids for their parties so as not to have to keep buying stuff. Usually at least one person forgets to take off the tag from when they got it from someone else before passing it on, or blindly gives someone back what they gave their kid.

ETA: A few parents have tried to institute the "no gifts please" rule on the invite, but everyone knows that somebody is going to bring something because they didn't read it, so then they don't want to feel one-upped by the dumbass who can't pay attention. So the gifts flow nonetheless. It is like a bastardized version of being back in high school.
 
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we had a themed party at home. mom decorated the cake according to the theme, dad would run a scavenger hunt based on the theme. they were pretty dang awesome - i had a 101 dalmatians party and mom did a spotted cake w/ a red base (collar). the scavenger hunt was to rescue a bunch of puppies (little plastic 101 dalmatians figurines that couldn't have been more than 50 cents each) (they were in a satchel in the sandbox!!!). on our actual birthday, we got the dinner of our choice (which mom cooked). fully intend to do this with future offspring. down with #bigbirthday!
 
It seems like a lot of this stems from parental peer pressure and a reluctance to piss off other parents. Like, you have to invite every kid in the class, because otherwise the left-out kid's parents will be offended. This is weird to me, because I don't think my parents had any damn clue who were the parents of kids in my classes. They knew who my friends were, and met their parents if we had sleepovers, but I'm pretty sure my dad would never have given a shit about offending some random kid's parents.

I don't know. For our son's 2 birthdays, we've limited it solely to family. Like, I know El Chupe doesn't want to come to a kid's birthday party, so I don't want to invite him and put him through that misery.
 
in home vids of little kid birthdays, it's a bunch of kids playing/in a mosh pit and a bunch of parents drinking. That seems ok to me.
 
I went to my friends' 4 year old's b'day party a couple of months ago and it was a bunch of adults standing around drinking beer half-ass watching their kids run around the yard. But as soon as 4:00 hit everyone immediately disappeared. I was told that there is a parent code that once it's over, it's over, and that there is no hanging around afterwards. It was fascinating.
 
It seems like a lot of this stems from parental peer pressure and a reluctance to piss off other parents. Like, you have to invite every kid in the class, because otherwise the left-out kid's parents will be offended. This is weird to me, because I don't think my parents had any damn clue who were the parents of kids in my classes. They knew who my friends were, and met their parents if we had sleepovers, but I'm pretty sure my dad would never have given a shit about offending some random kid's parents.

I don't know. For our son's 2 birthdays, we've limited it solely to family. Like, I know El Chupe doesn't want to come to a kid's birthday party, so I don't want to invite him and put him through that misery.

Yeah it is even worse now because all of the moms are hooked together on Facebook. So if they post pics of their kid's party, they don't want another mom to be offended if she sees the kids having fun and her kid didn't get invited. Hence the massive invites. Because the upside for the parents is that it is an event that occupies the kids for 2 hours in the bouncehouse or whatever other shit they have. So there is an element of dammit, i got screwed out of an opportunity to wear the hell out of my kid so maybe he takes a nap today or goes to bed earlier.
 
pinterest has to get part of the blame too. fuck that website. Both my mom and mother-in-law work in elementary schools and they both say the younger teachers go crazy with pinterest shit and the old teachers are pissed because they've had their lesson plans for decades and don't want to recreate the wheel.

down with #bigbirthday!
 
I don't know. For our son's 2 birthdays, we've limited it solely to family. Like, I know El Chupe doesn't want to come to a kid's birthday party, so I don't want to invite him and put him through that misery.

Depends entirely how many single MILFs you know (SMILF?)

Yeah it is even worse now because all of the moms are hooked together on Facebook. So if they post pics of their kid's party, they don't want another mom to be offended if she sees the kids having fun and her kid didn't get invited. Hence the massive invites. Because the upside for the parents is that it is an event that occupies the kids for 2 hours in the bouncehouse or whatever other shit they have. So there is an element of dammit, i got screwed out of an opportunity to wear the hell out of my kid so maybe he takes a nap today or goes to bed earlier.
Oh god this is so true.
 
These explanations appear to be validating my general feeling that attending random kids' birthday parties with my kids = mama's job.
 
Wait, parents have to go to birthday parties now? Mine just dropped me off and peaced out.
 
Nah. Her parents were awesome. How nice would it be to drop the kids off, go bang it out for an hour or so, clean up and pick the kids up. That's a Saturday.

AWAR's parents are heroes.
 
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