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The Pit Parenting Thread

My older daughter turned 12 this week and as I was driving her back to her mom’s house last night after dinner it dawned on me that she is less than two years from her learner’s permit. Holy shit.
 
I had my first real experience with helicopter parenting Friday night. My 10th grade 16 year old daughter and 5 of her friends (including one guy) went to the Travis Scott concert. My and wifey drove them there and dropped them off at the show and then went to Alamo Draft house to see a movie and dinner. Since we are in the movie, we weren't paying attention to our phones. About 9:20 PM, I looked at my phone and saw that text messages are blowing up.

One of my daughter's friends and pretty close friends of ours had informed us that there were production issues and they were still outside. So I called my daughter to check in and she/they was fine. They were actually at that time still hoping to get into the show. My wife called the friend and told her that and she was just hysterical saying they were lying. So we got the check and left. I told her we were going to pick them up and she was talking about how they were freezing in the cold rain. I was like its not raining here and its 53 degrees. they are fine. So we finally go to them and picked them up and of course they were fine. We took them by Wendy's and brought them home.

The next day she was talking through on a chat thread about what a terrible experience that was an imagining every life threatening thing that could have happened to them and how the lesson she learned as that her daughter is too young to go to something like that without a parent at the venue. I told her I thought she was way overreacting but if she felt that way that it was probably for the best if she didn't go. She didn't take too kindly to that.

My daughter talks about how when they go to the shopping center that they check in with her every 30 minutes. To me that is crazy. I want to teach my kids to develop their own agency.
 
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One of my colleagues has a daughter who just started college. She showed me an app she uses to keep track of her daughter. Crazy stuff. She just pulled up the app and said, “She’s in math class.”

Now that seems weird. But on the other hand, her daughter has myriad health problems, any of which could require an emergency trip to the campus health center or university hospital. There’s already been at least one asthma scare this semester.
 
Yeah. I’ve seen it and it freaked me out. I have other friends who use a similar app and their daughter went on her first date last weekend.
 
i mean, Alexander was conquering the known world at their age. i'm sure her daughter was fine.
 
I hereby swear that I will never have a fucking tracking app on my kids phone. Never.
 
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For kid tracking - I don't want to track every single movement, that's ridiculous. I just need to know that you made it somewhere safely, where you're going if you change locations, and when to expect you home.
Beyond that, I would sincerely hope that all the other 'make good choices' information they've had for years is enough to get them through a situation. If for some reason they demonstrate they cannot make good choices, THEN the punitive measures begin. Everyone starts with clean slate/free agency, though.
 
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