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Listen guys, I'm not opposed to trying new things. I'll give this whole sitting thing a good college try next time I need it and report back on my experience/findings.
 
WakeandBake said:
tilt onto one cheek, the left one if you're a righty
use right hand to position wad of TP at the bottom of shitty crack
wipe shit out
drop into toilet through opening created by tilting to one cheek
repeat if necessary
:noidea:
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this is really the answer; hovering to wipe just sounds like too much work, what do you do with your laptop?
 
Hello said:
yeah i don't think many of the girls are going to jump in on this one, for some reason.
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ImTheCaptain said:
this is really the answer; hovering to wipe just sounds like too much work, what do you do with your laptop?
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it's delicately perched on the small piece of counter top between the sink and toilet
 
Another advantage of wiping whilst sitting, if you stand up, you increase the chances of your smartphone falling into the shit water. If you are still sitting, worst case scenario it bounces off your leg and onto the floor.
 
How about you stand up and pull one butt cheek to the side, then wipe your ass. Change sides and repeat.
 
tsywake said:
Another advantage of wiping whilst sitting, if you stand up, you increase the chances of your smartphone falling into the shit water. If you are still sitting, worst case scenario it bounces off your leg and onto the floor.
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many a temple run high score has been lost that way.
 
tsywake said:
Another advantage of wiping whilst sitting, if you stand up, you increase the chances of your smartphone falling into the shit water. If you are still sitting, worst case scenario it bounces off your leg and onto the floor.
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If you stand up you actually think about stuff like this beforehand, so there isn't a chance of you forgetting your smartphone is in your lap in the first place. And there's still plenty of room for it to fall between your legs.
 
HeavyPetter said:
How about you stand up and pull one butt cheek to the side, then wipe your ass. Change sides and repeat.
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This, 'cept I don't know if I could do the change sides thing.

I had to wipe left handed for about a month, that was awful.
 
Oh yeah, you sitters can't fully appreciate your work if you cover it up before you even get to take a good look at it.
 
HeavyPetter said:
How about you stand up and pull one butt cheek to the side, then wipe your ass. Change sides and repeat.
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By that point you've already shitsmeared your entire ass crack in the process of standing up, so you might as well just walk directly to the shower.

cookoutdeac said:
If you stand up you actually think about stuff like this beforehand, so there isn't a chance of you forgetting your smartphone is in your lap in the first place. And there's still plenty of room for it to fall between your legs.
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Hmmm, I didnt know people sit on the toilet with their legs spread wide open. How does that aid/impede your rocking ability?
 
cookoutdeac said:
Oh yeah, you sitters can't fully appreciate your work if you cover it up before you even get to take a good look at it.
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Yeah, you totally gotta look at it before you put the toilet paper in the bowl to determine the likelihood of a toilet clog, especially if you only dump out once a day, like me.
 
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