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wedding party cost question

have you asked about providing your own booze? we chose a caterer that allowed us to provide our own alcohol. We spent a few hundred bucks on liquor ($500??). also had beer and wine. the caterer had an ABC license to serve alcohol but since we supplied it we had to get our own insurance for the day (about $100). they provided the bar tenders and we paid 3 or 4 bucks a head for soft drinks/tea/coffee/mixers etc. we spent maybe 1/3 of what they would have charged for them to provide everything. we also had a bunch to take home and some of our close friends took some left overs back to the hotel after the wedding. the only downside was transportation to and from but my bro in law was happy to take care of that for us.

We went the same route - bought all the beer & wine ourselves from a local package store who gave us their volume discount. We paid for a bartender from the caterers to serve it. No bottle charge this way and anything unopened came home with us.
 
Bar, food, and photos are the places you shouldn't cheap out on. The first two are the only thing your guests are going to remember, and the third is going to be the only thing still around after a year.

Good music would be the 4th.
 
Bar, food, and photos are the places you shouldn't cheap out on. The first two are the only thing your guests are going to remember, and the third is going to be the only thing still around after a year.

Good music would be the 4th.

disagree on food. Unless the food is lolbad, no one will really remember. We had an amazing band and that is still the first thing people bring up 18 months later. Booze was the 2nd.
 
What's the average wedding cost for just food and alcohol?

I'm finding that food is like $40+ per person and alcohol (just decent beer and wine) is like $25+ per person. For 150 person wedding, that's $9750 before you even have a venue, dress, decorations or anything else. Insane. Especially if 80% of your wedding guest will only have 1-2 drinks all night. Sigh.

Have an early afternoon wedding and that way you don't have to serve a full meal. Hors doeurves as your meal. People will still drink, but may drink less as a result as they will want to still go out later that night.

I'm paying for everything (it's her 2nd marriage) and am looking to cut corners while still having a nice ceremony. Found a reasonable venue for $3500 (I should get $500 back) that will double as a ceremony location. Photographer will cost us $2000. Again, not cheap, but not ridiculously expensive either as far as those go, and it will include engagement and bridal shots. DJ is a friend who does it professionally. I was hoping he would gift it, but we will get a friend's discount, so not expecting to pay a lot. We can buy our own booze, but will limit it to beer and wine. I don't need people acting like idiots after taking shots. Caterer will provide the bartender. We do not have the caterer yet, and that is where the money will come in. Attire and decorations will be simple. She knows plenty of people who can officiate. Overall, I'm expecting this to come in at a bit over 10k. I'm so glad I didn't follow the advice of some of you dipshits on here and do the 2-3 months salary bullshit for a ring or we would be eloping for sure or just doing the JP thing.
 
Bar, food, and photos are the places you shouldn't cheap out on. The first two are the only thing your guests are going to remember, and the third is going to be the only thing still around after a year.

Good music would be the 4th.
I don't think anyone remembers the food
 
I cant remember the food in any wedding ive been to. But they'll remember mine
 
Ill amend to say that people will only remember really good food and really bad food.

Very true. Food was one of our priorities and people still bring it up 1.5 years later. You're right that you shouldn't cheap out on food, but it shouldn't be one of the top priorities with photos, music, and booze unless it's really important to you.
 
wait, elc is getting hitched

Yeah, I totally had to go back because I thought I had read it wrong. Congrats ELC.

Maybe it's because I grew up #poor. But if you're a grown ass person, you should be planning the wedding you can afford. If you can't pay for the wedding without help, you don't need that wedding. Seems silly to be like "if we were paying we'd do it this way but since our parents are paying we need the deluxe version." I appreciated the contributions that were made and understand it's tradition, but you are a grown up, you should be responsible for your own shit. And have enough respect for your contributing parents to not take advantage.
I have had some beers and am not expressing this well, but basically, don't spend a ton because it's not your money.
 
Yeah, I totally had to go back because I thought I had read it wrong. Congrats ELC.

Maybe it's because I grew up #poor. But if you're a grown ass person, you should be planning the wedding you can afford. If you can't pay for the wedding without help, you don't need that wedding. Seems silly to be like "if we were paying we'd do it this way but since our parents are paying we need the deluxe version." I appreciated the contributions that were made and understand it's tradition, but you are a grown up, you should be responsible for your own shit. And have enough respect for your contributing parents to not take advantage.
I have had some beers and am not expressing this well, but basically, don't spend a ton because it's not your money.

cheers - to beers and to this sentiment.
 
Yeah, I totally had to go back because I thought I had read it wrong. Congrats ELC.

Maybe it's because I grew up #poor. But if you're a grown ass person, you should be planning the wedding you can afford. If you can't pay for the wedding without help, you don't need that wedding. Seems silly to be like "if we were paying we'd do it this way but since our parents are paying we need the deluxe version." I appreciated the contributions that were made and understand it's tradition, but you are a grown up, you should be responsible for your own shit. And have enough respect for your contributing parents to not take advantage.
I have had some beers and am not expressing this well, but basically, don't spend a ton because it's not your money.

I glad that works for you, but if you're 25 years old and the parents want to invite a bunch of friends and your budget doesn't work for that, there's no problem with the parents paying most or all of the price of the wedding. It's not just about the bride and groom, it's about the families and friends too. If the parents want to spend a ton of money on a wedding, you shouldn't feel compelled to say "No, we're gonna pull this whole thing off for $500 with 10 buckets of KFC at a park shelter." You don't have to say yes either, but you should take into consideration that the parents probably want to invite your whole family and some of their lifelong friends and well.
 
My minister had a great story that really happened when he was officiating at a wedding. He made the standard "if anyone has an objection to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace" statement. And someone in fact stood up and said "I object." The minister checked to see if he was being funny, but no, this was serious. Minister, person, couple went behind closed doors. Found out that one of the couple to be married had mental health issues and also a spouse elsewhere. Needless to say, end of that wedding ceremony.

I think that the person who objected also has mental health issues. Surely there was a better way to communicate that objection.
 
I glad that works for you, but if you're 25 years old and the parents want to invite a bunch of friends and your budget doesn't work for that, there's no problem with the parents paying most or all of the price of the wedding. It's not just about the bride and groom, it's about the families and friends too. If the parents want to spend a ton of money on a wedding, you shouldn't feel compelled to say "No, we're gonna pull this whole thing off for $500 with 10 buckets of KFC at a park shelter." You don't have to say yes either, but you should take into consideration that the parents probably want to invite your whole family and some of their lifelong friends and well.

i think you're reading too much into it. i read "you should have the wedding you can afford" rather than go into debt to have a wedding ceremony to impress people. if your/her parents want to pay or help out it is still a wedding that is affordable. i think it's more a knock on some outlandish vision of a movie wedding and everyone spending years paying it off.

we got married at 29. her parents wanted to pay. however, the money they offered was not going to cover what we wanted to do, which was pretty modest. we saved money where we could. we left northern va pricing for richmond which was way cheaper. they were on a budget and we ended up paying a little more than half. it was still what we could afford to spend without having debt.
 
i think you're reading too much into it. i read "you should have the wedding you can afford" rather than go into debt to have a wedding ceremony to impress people. if your/her parents want to pay or help out it is still a wedding that is affordable. i think it's more a knock on some outlandish vision of a movie wedding and everyone spending years paying it off.

we got married at 29. her parents wanted to pay. however, the money they offered was not going to cover what we wanted to do, which was pretty modest. we saved money where we could. we left northern va pricing for richmond which was way cheaper. they were on a budget and we ended up paying a little more than half. it was still what we could afford to spend without having debt.

That's cool for you and everything, but I don't think what she was saying.

If you can't pay for the wedding without help, you don't need that wedding.
 
Our wedding was last March, people still talk about the food and the actual wedding ceremony.

A lot of the ceremony is free or really cheap but it can be (should be) more powerful and lasting than the dancing/drinking.
 
I don't think anyone remembers the food

I don't remember entrees, but I went to a wedding like 8 years ago that brought out grilled cheese and some other little greasy nibbles after a couple hours of dancing (and drinking). I still think about that at every other wedding I attend, and definitely want to do something similar if I get married.
 
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