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wedding party cost question

The "honor" of inviting someone to be in your wedding isn't a valid excuse to have them spend hundreds to thousands of dollars to participate. It's not a reasonable expectation IMO. Any bride or groom should be very grateful to have friends willing to do that.
 
Asking your wedding party to spend a ton of money on tuxes/dresses is super lame imo
 
myDeaconmyhand said:
The "honor" of inviting someone to be in your wedding isn't a valid excuse to have them spend hundreds to thousands of dollars to participate. It's not a reasonable expectation IMO. Any bride or groom should be very grateful to have friends willing to do that.
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If they're spending thousands, then one would hope they're doing that on their own and not because they are being forced to. Need to save money? Don't bring the Plus One. The bride and groom should be cognizant of expenses for out-of-towners, but that doesn't mean out-of-towners should expect a great gift in the $250 range in return. Girls can get dresses for cheap if they shop around. Like $100-125. Guys can shell out for a rental or a suit. Yeah, it's an additional expense, but it isn't burdensome. I think most people understand that. On the other hand, it's usually the bride who drives up costs with stupid expectations because daddy is paying the bill and she has no clue.
 
The trick is to be friends with a lot of people, but not GREAT friends. I've only ever been in two wedding parties and would expect to only ever be in one more, but I've been to many weddings. Being in the wedding party is kind of a hassle.
 
deacphan said:
we went to at least 6 weddings this year (these are the ones i remember offhand): nc, ct, chitown, tn, tampa, and austrailia. 3 of those included my wife as bridesmaid and thus also a bachelorette party. that shit adds up. right now we're looking at one next year in napa.
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You guys are friends with too many people. Time to start paring them down. I suggest ranking like your 20 best friends, then cutting ties with the bottom 15. Maybe give extra credit to the friends who are already married so your list of 5 keepers doesn't include singles.
 
CDeacMan said:
The trick is to be friends with a lot of people, but not GREAT friends. I've only ever been in two wedding parties and would expect to only ever be in one more, but I've been to many weddings. Being in the wedding party is kind of a hassle.
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Yeah, but being in the wedding party gets you the all access pass and multiple french benefits. Plus everybody knows that you're not just a friend, you're a special friend. So you're the person she wants to hook it with instead of some random.
 
I was maid of honor for my sister (my parents helped with some costs), and I'll be in another wedding in May. Can't think of too many other friends whose weddings I would potentially be in. Many of my closest friends are already married. I'm excited to celebrate with the May bride, but it is going to be very expensive. I'm thankful that the dress was only $100, plus whatever alterations are going to cost. I'll need new shoes, plane ticket, rental car. The wedding hotel cost for the 2 night minimum is going to cost more than my monthly mortgage payment (and I'll probably stay other nights up there at a cheaper hotel). I definitely do not expect some fancy gift from the bride, but she is cognizant of the expenses and trying to help. I'm hoping I can arrange to share a room with someone.

A $400 suit does seem expensive, especially if it's likely that the guys would already have presentable suits in their wardrobe. But I guess I'm a #poor.
 
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deacphan said:
we went to at least 6 weddings this year (these are the ones i remember offhand): nc, ct, chitown, tn, tampa, and austrailia. 3 of those included my wife as bridesmaid and thus also a bachelorette party. that shit adds up. right now we're looking at one next year in napa.
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yea i was in 3 weddings and 3 b parties and went to another

gets expensive, esp for a poor like me

but it's fucking radical to be up there with your best friends, part of the experience
 
TownieDeac said:
yea i was in 3 weddings and 3 b parties and went to another

gets expensive, esp for a poor like me

but it's fucking radical to be up there with your best friends, part of the experience
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Except like 6 years later when half of them are inevitibly getting divorced and you're like fuck, why did they make me spend all that money back then?
That's actually a good reason to keep the overall wedding costs down, so that when you are contemplating divorce a few years later your judgment isn't skewed by feeling guilty that all those people dropped all that coin on your mistake.

ETA: I see FMA beat me to the general theme while I was typing.
 
Most of my friends are still married fifteen to twenty years later. Only a couple of major divorces.
 
I was going to say, only 1 of my friends is divorced 10 years after the big wedding wave. Perhaps 2&2 is hanging with a different type of person.
 
Or maybe 2&2 is boning all his bros' wives.

No wait, maybe he's boning the dudes.

No wait, he's getting boned by all his dude bros. Damn 2&2, you're ass is a homewrecker.
 
2&2 Slider To Leyritz said:
Except like 6 years later when half of them are inevitibly getting divorced and you're like fuck, why did they make me spend all that money back then?
That's actually a good reason to keep the overall wedding costs down, so that when you are contemplating divorce a few years later your judgment isn't skewed by feeling guilty that all those people dropped all that coin on your mistake.

ETA: I see FMA beat me to the general theme while I was typing.
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Meh. I sincerely doubt I'll look back in my 30s and regret money I spent partying with my friends in my 20s, even if any of it ends in divorce. Doesn't seem likely with the weddings I've been to anyway.
 
BiffTannen said:
Yeah, but being in the wedding party gets you the all access pass and multiple french benefits. Plus everybody knows that you're not just a friend, you're a special friend. So you're the person she wants to hook it with instead of some random.
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what's a french benefit? all you can eat croissants wedding weekend? kisses? extreme anti-muslim racisim? all you can mime buffet access? all you can drink wine? jerry lewis?
 
Yeah, basically all the stuff the french get that we don't.
 
Two marriages of friends got divorced within one year. In both I was friends with the woman. The first married an addict who was a complete loser. The other married a guy I didn't know. One night her husband stayed up late while she went to bed. She woke up and caught him enjoying some videos on the internet. His response was to choke her. I didn't have to shell out much for either wedding so no big whoop.
 
Either buy them the suit and have them buy the shirt and tie or the opposite. That is about right on the "gift" and not much more than a rental tux. If you have decent taste, they should be able to wear some of it again.

I was in TABs wetting and he gave us a baller shirt and tie. I wear both when formal attire is required.
 
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