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wedding party cost question

Wedding ceremonies are terrible. If I ever get hitched mine is gonna be like 7 minutes tops.

in my experience the actual ceremony doesn't take that long unless you're catholic or orthodox

never been to a jewish wedding, they may last long.
 
Our ceremony was probably 25 min or so? Cause our minister gave a "homily" (i.e. mini sermon). We went to one last spring where I'm pretty sure it took 5 min tops. They had exchanged their vows earlier in the day privately. It was by far the shortest one I've been to. Didn't seem worth setting up the chairs and flowers and what not!
 
I've been planning for years to elope, but all these badass friend weddings make me reconsider. I don't imagine I could have had much more fun than I did at the TexasDeac/BoulderDeac/DF2009 weddings. God, DF2009's wedding was like a weekend straight from fantasy land. Basically just me and Townie driving golf carts around an island paradise absolutely trashed for three days.
 
Agreed Juice. Had some friends do an 7-8 min ceremony and it was beautiful. Sermons during weddings annoy me. Like seriously, who cares?

Maybe I'm just burnt out from going to 10 weddings a couple summers ago. Since then I've basically stopped paying attention during the ceremony and do my best to show up with a decent buzz.
 
One piece of advice I have based on my wedding and one or two others I can remember: Grooms - have some participation (or at least active oversight) of the Best Man speech. My brother just thought he'd get up there and wing it. He wasn't much of a public speaker at the time and it didn't go great....entered into the realm of rambling and he made a couple of comments that he meant to be funny but came off as a little inappropriate. Another good friend of mine's Best Man was just INCREDIBLY nervous and could barely get a word out. So basically, ask what he generally plans to say, tell him things he definitely shouldn't say, and give some ideas for things to mention if he's not sure what to include.

tw's best man speech for df2009 included the story of throwing up in 2009's car, but the vomit not getting on anything bc there were so many taco bell wrappers in teh car
 
my ceremony was 30 minutes tops. i thought that was pretty decent until i went to a wedding that was 5 minutes from entry to exit and found myself looking around "that was it?" style. they just wanted to get to the party asap.
 
Agreed Juice. Had some friends do an 7-8 min ceremony and it was beautiful. Sermons during weddings annoy me. Like seriously, who cares?

Maybe I'm just burnt out from going to 10 weddings a couple summers ago. Since then I've basically stopped paying attention during the ceremony and do my best to show up with a decent buzz.

Pastors should ask the couple whether they want a homily/sermon. I think that most pastors would just as soon not do them.
 
tw's best man speech for df2009 included the story of throwing up in 2009's car, but the vomit not getting on anything bc there were so many taco bell wrappers in teh car

That was a beautiful day.
 
My cousins wedding was no more than 5 minutes. Personally, I think that's a little bit too short. Not sure why they even bothered setting up the chairs as we stood the entire time.
 
My friend is a preacher, he's seen some sad stuff including a groom that made out w/ the maid of honor on the dance floor at the reception.

this makes me really sad.
 
I've been planning for years to elope, but all these badass friend weddings make me reconsider. I don't imagine I could have had much more fun than I did at the TexasDeac/BoulderDeac/DF2009 weddings. God, DF2009's wedding was like a weekend straight from fantasy land. Basically just me and Townie driving golf carts around an island paradise absolutely trashed for three days.

When my wife and I got married, we did a very small, family only ceremony. We rented out the private room at a restaurant for dinner afterwards and that was that. A year later, when I got back from the Stan, we through a reception weekend for about 100 people. Sushi/cocktail party on Friday night, golf on Saturday morning, reception on Saturday night...it was a fucking riot, plus we got to hit the after party with our friends.
 
One piece of advice I have based on my wedding and one or two others I can remember: Grooms - have some participation (or at least active oversight) of the Best Man speech. My brother just thought he'd get up there and wing it. He wasn't much of a public speaker at the time and it didn't go great....entered into the realm of rambling and he made a couple of comments that he meant to be funny but came off as a little inappropriate. Another good friend of mine's Best Man was just INCREDIBLY nervous and could barely get a word out. So basically, ask what he generally plans to say, tell him things he definitely shouldn't say, and give some ideas for things to mention if he's not sure what to include.
Husky did an awesome job with no prompting/intervention.
 
When my wife and I got married, we did a very small, family only ceremony. We rented out the private room at a restaurant for dinner afterwards and that was that. A year later, when I got back from the Stan, we through a reception weekend for about 100 people. Sushi/cocktail party on Friday night, golf on Saturday morning, reception on Saturday night...it was a fucking riot, plus we got to hit the after party with our friends.

I think I'm leaning more towards this. Smaller ceremony somewhere (probably NC), and then reception(s) in NC and OR. I know my grandparents can't travel to OR and it's extremely important to me that they're present for the ceremony... but I can't ask all of our OR people to travel to NC because that's really expensive, so a separate OR reception makes most sense (Because I definitely want to celebrate with all of them).

*eta: not that i've thought about this or anything, since #noring.
 
Our ceremony was probably 10-15 min, but it was a million degrees so I don't think anyone felt like it was short. We too edited the entire ceremony and had control over what was said. But that was so my religion was incorporated but not in anyone's face, etc. And then later that year we went to a ceremony where the officiant talked about the bride's older sister's wedding, how they were in a race to have kids, etc. the entire time. It was like he didn't even know whose wedding he was officiating.
 
I think I'm leaning more towards this. Smaller ceremony somewhere (probably NC), and then reception(s) in NC and OR. I know my grandparents can't travel to OR and it's extremely important to me that they're present for the ceremony... but I can't ask all of our OR people to travel to NC because that's really expensive, so a separate OR reception makes most sense (Because I definitely want to celebrate with all of them).

*eta: not that i've thought about this or anything, since #noring.

We were kind of in this boat. My parents ended up throwing us a reception in California so the extended family could be there since most of them could not, or would not have traveled to SC. Wife's family picked up the tab(s) for the east coast stuff.
 
also - I heard this at a ceremony:
“…by entering into this union, you are abandoning your own weak umbrella and stepping under the shelter of your husband. He is responsible for holding that shelter up during the greatest of storms, and only through your faithful service to him by fully honoring his decisions and strength will you will be safe in this new life together.”

That sentiment will NOT be part of my ceremony.
 
also - I heard this at a ceremony:
“…by entering into this union, you are abandoning your own weak umbrella and stepping under the shelter of your husband. He is responsible for holding that shelter up during the greatest of storms, and only through your faithful service to him by fully honoring his decisions and strength will you will be safe in this new life together.”

That sentiment will NOT be part of my ceremony.

That is horrible! What kind of pastor said that?
 
also - I heard this at a ceremony:
“…by entering into this union, you are abandoning your own weak umbrella and stepping under the shelter of your husband. He is responsible for holding that shelter up during the greatest of storms, and only through your faithful service to him by fully honoring his decisions and strength will you will be safe in this new life together.”

That sentiment will NOT be part of my ceremony.

right, because you both got your umbrellas at REI
 
I went to a wedding a few years ago where the preacher talked about divorce in the sermon during the ceremony. It was SO awkward. Both bride & groom came from divorced parents, so I think they'd be aware of the risks. But they are divorced now too so :noidea:

Yikes.

I went to a wedding where the father of the groom, who is a pastor, spoke during part of the ceremony. He talked about how the wife had saved herself for her husband, and how important that was.
 
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