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wedding party cost question

SmooveDeac

SmooveDeac

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My fiancee and I were discussing some wedding stuff the other day, and she suggested I throw this out to the hive mind to see what other people think.

We're getting married in May. It's not a destination wedding, per se, but it's in a small town with a smaller airport that costs a couple hundred more bucks to fly into than other cities. We bought my suit, etc. at Men's Wearhouse (I'm not wearing a tux, and we don't want the groomsmen to, either), and while we were there she found a combo she liked for the groomsmen. It's a three piece grey suit with a nice textured white shirt and a blue tie and handkerchief. The cost of the outfit (which would be a straight up purchase) is $370.

She wants to go for it. I'm balking at asking my friends to pay that much. They all have decent jobs and stuff, but several of them are going to have to throw down a decent chunk of change just to get to Oregon. We got them discounted hotel rooms, but that's an added expense as well. Then again, I don't think I've ever paid for my tux rental the few times I've been in a wedding. Is this a normal thing? How much is too much to pay? I had always thought that rentals were around $75-100. Can you even rent just a suit instead of a tux?

Yes, in a perfect world I'd just make the suit their gift, but we're paying for this wedding ourselves, and we're trying not to go into debt for this or anything.
 
Men's wearhouse bro for your boys

Only you need to be decked in quality

It would be selfish to expect more
 
Surely they've all got a black suit. Have them wear that and buy them all the same tie.

If they don't have a black suit I think it's okay to ask them to buy one of their choice. They can find a deal and they will be able to wear it in their real life after the wedding.
 
Just tell them to wear a dark gray (or whatever) suit and buy them the tie (and shirt if it's that important to your wife) you want them to wear as a groomsman gift
 
Agree with others..
It's an honor to be a groomsman and all and there are obviously expenses. But, asking people to drop over a grand for suit, flight, hotel, etc is a dick move. Getting a matching tie with a neutral suit they likely already own seems like a fair compromise. If you must have them in a suit setup you pick out then you should pay for that as groomsman gift. Unless you've got a lot of groomsmen the added expense is relatively minor relative to what a wedding usually costs. You'll get a lot of money for wedding gifts so it's all good.
 
I predict many fights over money and credit card debt out the wazoo

Women
 
First of all, don't call it an "outfit." Holy shit.

As for the cost, I did what tilt and backtoback suggested, buying them the shirt and tie and pocket square as the groomsman gift. As for the suit, I ended up finding this suit at JCPenney that everyone bought, it was literally $110 (no more than a tux rental). It's a fairly modern slim cut, and to be honest I still wear mine to work a year and a half later. They've got different fabrics and colors so hopefully you could find one close to what your bae had in mind.
 
smallbigtall said:
First of all, don't call it an "outfit." Holy shit.

As for the cost, I did what tilt and backtoback suggested, buying them the shirt and tie and pocket square as the groomsman gift. As for the suit, I ended up finding this suit at JCPenney that everyone bought, it was literally $110 (no more than a tux rental). It's a fairly modern slim cut, and to be honest I still wear mine to work a year and a half later. They've got different fabrics and colors so hopefully you could find one close to what your bae had in mind.
Click to expand...

"Slim cut"

Lol
 
In other wedding news there was a story on NPR the other day on the way to work. Some lady in the know said that the average cost of a wedding is now 29K with 10% of those exceeding 50K. I found that ridiculous and fascinating at the same time. I got married in Jamaica (my wife's second marriage), spent a few days there for a honeymoon, then came home and had a reception with my/her parents & friends. This was back in 2002, but I know we spent 10K and we were watching costs as it can get out of hand in a hurry.

That said, there is no way I could have asked my friends to do anything more than show up at my wedding if I had done the traditional wedding. Have them wear their best dark suit and you can supply the tie and pocket square. No one will be able to tell in the pics anyway.
 
$370 a person on top of $500+ travel costs. That's a little steep. I agree with everyone on the tie idea.
 
Why not pick a tux they can rent from there? That ends up in the $150-200 range, and groomsmen can be expected to do that.

I was a groomsman in a wedding last month where the groom got a small party a nice black tie and cuff links, and we just wore black suits. At the end of the day, nobody cares. Everyone will drink, have a good time and say congratulations. It goes fast.
 
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