Would you eat a plate of pubes to save a life?

Is this a truly random person, or seemingly random to me? Is my death excluded from the population being randomized? Are the stingrays doing the killing? Can I volunteer someone's pubes?

wufu bufu said:

Is this a truly random person, or seemingly random to me? Is my death excluded from the population being randomized? Are the stingrays doing the killing? Can I volunteer someone's pubes?

Click to expand...

It is a truly random person. It is not you, because you're the one who has to eat the pubes. The random person is lowered into the stingray tank by Bindi Irwin. The question of who/what is "doing the killing" is left to your own interpretation. You can volunteer your own or someone else's pubes, but ultimately the collected pubes are poured into a Kitchenaid Artisan 5 Qt. Stand Mixer, lightly beaten, and then a baseball sized clump is extracted and placed on the dish using a pair of tongs.

Pollster Deac said:

It is a truly random person. It is not you, because you're the one who has to eat the pubes. The random person is lowered into the stingray tank by Bindi Irwin. The question of who/what is "doing the killing" is left to your own interpretation. You can volunteer your own or someone else's pubes, but ultimately the collected pubes are poured into a Kitchenaid Artisan 5 Qt. Stand Mixer, lightly beaten, and then a baseball sized clump is extracted and placed on the dish using a pair of tongs.

Click to expand...

How do you know the stingrays will kill the person? Contrary to what Bindi Irwin might think, most stingrays are pretty chill and want nothing to do with people, unless you're trying to feed them, in which case they are more like underwater dogs.

Pollster Deac said:

It is a truly random person. It is not you, because you're the one who has to eat the pubes. The random person is lowered into the stingray tank by Bindi Irwin. The question of who/what is "doing the killing" is left to your own interpretation. You can volunteer your own or someone else's pubes, but ultimately the collected pubes are poured into a Kitchenaid Artisan 5 Qt. Stand Mixer, lightly beaten, and then a baseball sized clump is extracted and placed on the dish using a pair of tongs.

Click to expand...

What kind of attachment is being used on the mixer? Dough hook? Wisk? Batter spatula?

tigerswood said:

How do you know the stingrays will kill the person? Contrary to what Bindi Irwin might think, most stingrays are pretty chill and want nothing to do with people, unless you're trying to feed them, in which case they are more like underwater dogs.

Click to expand...

The tank contains over 225 stingrays, each one trained by Bindi Irwin specifically for the purpose of murdering humans.

wufu bufu said:

What kind of attachment is being used on the mixer? Dough hook? Wisk? Batter spatula?

Click to expand...

Wisk is used to ensure thorough mixing of pubes.

Pollster Deac said:

You can volunteer your own or someone else's pubes, but ultimately the collected pubes are poured into a Kitchenaid Artisan 5 Qt. Stand Mixer, lightly beaten, and then a baseball sized clump is extracted and placed on the dish using a pair of tongs.

Click to expand...

Woah woah woah. I was told earlier is was random pubes. Hell, I'll eat a basketball sized chunk of my own pubes (and have plenty left over to stay warm).

I remember once back in high school, we got a new keeper on the varsity soccer team. His parents were so stoked about him moving up from JV that they bought him a new gear bag and a new pair of keeper gloves. So, to welcome him on the team, we waited for a rain/tape day and spent an hour or so farming our own pubes by the glow of the television to form this wiry tangle about the size of your fist. Really pulled together that day as teammates working toward a common goal. I don't remember the exact plays we were reviewing, but I do remember Lance and Josh quietly going from desk to desk collecting the short and curlies. Toward the end of the day, we hunkered that sucker right down in Bobby's new gear bag and just let the good times roll. It wasn't until Bobby geared up the next day that he got a taste of what new keeper gloves will do to a pile of short hairs.

Grabs Turds Bare said:

Woah woah woah. I was told earlier is was random pubes. Hell, I'll eat a basketball sized chunk of my own pubes (and have plenty left over to stay warm).

Click to expand...

Your volunteered pubes are simply placed in a 50 gallon garbage bag full of other people's pubes. Bindi Irwin and Marcus Samuelsson pour the pubes from the bag into the mixer, from which the final clump is selected for consumption. So perhaps you will end up eating a pube or 2 of your own, but more likely you will eat exclusively the pubes from the prisoners and cadavers whom Bindi Irwin has plucked or shaved.