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Has the men's basketball program now, finally, hit ROCK BOTTOM?

Have we finally arrived?


  • Total voters
    85
  • Poll closed .
birdman are you familiar with the Michael Peterson case (detailed in The Staircase)? There is a credible theory out there that it was actually an owl attack that caused the bleeding which eventually killed his wife. Crazy stuff.
 
Guys, take it to the bird chat thread.
 
birdman are you familiar with the Michael Peterson case (detailed in The Staircase)? There is a credible theory out there that it was actually an owl attack that caused the bleeding which eventually killed his wife. Crazy stuff.

Yes, that was in Durham right? My Uncle is also an ornithologist andbused to work at the Natural History Museum. He told me a story about a lawyer or somebody that came in to his collection at the museum and wanted all sorts of info on Great horned owls and then they got out specimens and together measured the talons of a few samples. Fascinating story.
 
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Guys, take it to the bird chat thread.

Your program is pretty obviously at rock bottom when a basketball thread turns into a thread about how awesome birds are. We’ll need an objective metric and an explicit statement on expectations before we can be sure though.
 
birdman, if you could make an All-Bird basketball team with any species of bird except Larry, which birds would you choose by position? And throw in a coach.
 
birdman, if you could make an All-Bird basketball team with any species of bird except Larry, which birds would you choose by position? And throw in a coach.


I'll be checking his reading comprehension and ensuring there's no armchair doctoring. But, let's at least agree to a common standard to which we all agree that birds can fly. And don't make up some stupid shit like "they have wings". I mean, come on people. You really need to think here.
 
I'll be checking his reading comprehension and ensuring there's no armchair doctoring. But, let's at least agree to a common standard to which we all agree that birds can fly. And don't make up some stupid shit like "they have wings". I mean, come on people. You really need to think here.

Nah, only question is whether we are playing with a regulation ball on a regulation sized court. From there the answer is obvious.
 
Holy shit, that is quite a challenge. It’ll take me some time, but I can do this. I am going to start with the coaching staff...crows. They are super smart and strategic. The HC will have to be a Eew Caldonian Crow, which make tools in the wild and have even figured out how to take advantage of cross walks in cities. I want one of these guys building the game plan and figuring out how to best utilize the talent.

 
I'll be checking his reading comprehension and ensuring there's no armchair doctoring. But, let's at least agree to a common standard to which we all agree that birds can fly. And don't make up some stupid shit like "they have wings". I mean, come on people. You really need to think here.

So no penguins or ostriches? Really, the common denominator for living “birds” is feathers. There were several species of dinosaurs that also had feathers, and it is widely accepted (7 out 8 ornithologists agree) that birds are actually the last dinosaurs that survived the asteroid, but I won’t be drafting T-Rexs on the team because they couldn’t fly. Am I interpreting the rules correctly?
 
Jay Bilas would be disappointed if you drafted T-Rex.
 
So no penguins or ostriches? Really, the common denominator for living “birds” is feathers. There were several species of dinosaurs that also had feathers, and it is widely accepted (7 out 8 ornithologists agree) that birds are actually the last dinosaurs that survived the asteroid, but I won’t be drafting T-Rexs on the team because they couldn’t fly. Am I interpreting the rules correctly?

T-Rex doesn't have a plus wingspan, would be a liability on defense.
 
So no penguins or ostriches? Really, the common denominator for living “birds” is feathers. There were several species of dinosaurs that also had feathers, and it is widely accepted (7 out 8 ornithologists agree) that birds are actually the last dinosaurs that survived the asteroid, but I won’t be drafting T-Rexs on the team because they couldn’t fly. Am I interpreting the rules correctly?

I think the Ostrich has to be on there. Height, speed, size, verticality. Being stuck on the ground seems like a disadvantage but he’d get a ton of garbage buckets when the ball falls out of the sky.
 
I think the Ostrich has to be on there. Height, speed, size, verticality. Being stuck on the ground seems like a disadvantage but he’d get a ton of garbage buckets when the ball falls out of the sky.

Let the experts do the drafting, ok?
 
PG - Peregrine falcon
SG - Ferruginous hawk
SF - Golden eagle
PF - Andean condor
C - Wandering albatross

Doing 5 minutes of research, I opted for a bigger lineup that'll be capable of defending multiple positions. Getting up in the air is kind of important in the game of basketball. With the fastest in the world running point.
 
While the ostrich has significant height and speed, they are pretty uncoordinated and have very little upper Body strength, so at the 5 I am going to go with the Secretary Bird. They are large African birds of prey standing up to 4.5 feet tall and up to an 87 inch wing span. They are quite fast and very strong. Their favorite prey are venemous cobras which kill by kicking them to death. Plus they hay an Eric Williams-esque hair do. It's not the best quality video but you can get a sense of the how powerful this bird is. It would be a definite asset on d and o.

 
While the ostrich has significant height and speed, they are pretty uncoordinated and have very little upper Body strength, so at the 5 I am going to go with the Secretary Bird. They are large African birds of prey standing up to 4.5 feet tall and up to an 87 inch wing span. They are quite fast and very strong. Their favorite prey are venemous cobras which kill by kicking them to death. Plus they hay an Eric Williams-esque hair do. It's not the best quality video but you can get a sense of the how powerful this bird is. It would be a definite asset on d and o.



Seen them up close and they are fucking badass, but they’d foul out in five minutes
 
Would be nice to have one come off the bench though.
 
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