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Has the men's basketball program now, finally, hit ROCK BOTTOM?

Have we finally arrived?

  • Total voters
    85
  • Poll closed .
birdman said:
Let the experts do the drafting, ok?
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This is for a hypothetical basketball game, right?
 
RChildress107 said:
Seen them up close and they are fucking badass, but they’d foul out in five minutes
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The fouling rules were not clarified from the outset. This bird will protect the paint so well and the opposition will be so intimidated they won't go anywhere near the rim. Plus with a coach that can actually coach, like a new Caldonen Crow, the secretary will quickly learn defensive position....He's already got great natural foot work!
 
birdman said:
Holy shit, that is quite a challenge. It’ll take me some time, but I can do this. I am going to start with the coaching staff...crows. They are super smart and strategic. The HC will have to be a Eew Caldonian Crow, which make tools in the wild and have even figured out how to take advantage of cross walks in cities. I want one of these guys building the game plan and figuring out how to best utilize the talent.

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Meh, Crows seem like the super smart X, and O's guys that make perfect assistant coaches. We need a more personable bird that can manage recruiting and the fanbase to be head coach, Crows strike me as the Buzz's of the coaching world. Really smart but probably have the assburgers.
 
WFcatamount22 said:
Meh, Crows seem like the super smart X, and O's guys that make perfect assistant coaches. We need a more personable bird that can manage recruiting and the fanbase to be head coach, Crows strike me as the Buzz's of the coaching world. Really smart but probably have the assburgers.
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So we need a peacock as our figurehead with the crows on the bench.
 
WFcatamount22 said:
Meh, Crows seem like the super smart X, and O's guys that make perfect assistant coaches. We need a more personable bird that can manage recruiting and the fanbase to be head coach, Crows strike me as the Buzz's of the coaching world. Really smart but probably have the assburgers.
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This is a completely wrong take. Crows might be smarter than you:



Very Social animals too. Most Corvids are. Here is a video of one crow learning a behavior for reward and then teaching other how to do it:

 
This is 1 of the rare times a thread has taken a sharp turn for the better.
 
birdman said:
This is a completely wrong take. Crows might be smarter than you:



Very Social animals too. Most Corvids are. Here is a video of one crow learning a behavior for reward and then teaching other how to do it:

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I don't care how good the game plan is, when you have a bunch of 2-3 feather recruits coming in its going to be hard to win ball games. Hell even a bat could see that. I want the peacock to attacked the best talent possible, and then let the crows game plan from the bench when they get here.

Plus it would be progressive to have a female HC.
 
WFcatamount22 said:
I don't care how good the game plan is, when you have a bunch of 2-3 feather recruits coming in its going to be hard to win ball games. Hell even a bat could see that. I want the peacock to attacked the best talent possible, and then let the crows game plan from the bench when they get here.

Plus it would be progressive to have a female HC.
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Peacocks are male, it’s right there in the name, you imbecile. What you talking about is a peahen, they are drabby Brown and super dumb birds. Seriously they are just large brown wild chickens. Good luck with your team.
 
WFcatamount22 said:
I don't care how good the game plan is, when you have a bunch of 2-3 feather recruits coming in its going to be hard to win ball games. Hell even a bat could see that. I want the peacock to attacked the best talent possible, and then let the crows game plan from the bench when they get here.

Plus it would be progressive to have a female HC.
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Some people would say that under the right pecking order a 2 or 3 feather recruit could be developed into all-conference bird. However it appears Wellman is attracted to Dodo birds.
 
At the power forward spot, I'd pick the Brown Pelican. These are big, bulky, birds, that aren't afraid to use their size to their advantage. The have an up to 79 inch wingspan so will eat a lot of space and have enough strength to take off from a sitting position in the water, unlike ducks or albatross which need a run way to get airborne. A huge advantage for a bird of this size is that they can step outside and do some damage from long distance, a stretch 4 if you will, sometimes diving from 30 feet up in the air into the water to catch fish in their specially adapted bills. These birds will help to defend the interior but also spread the floor on offense.

 
Pretty sure discussing which birds would fill out a team and coaching staff for us is the definition of rock bottom.
 
Just a 79-inch wingspan? Andean condor and the wandering albatross would kick that thing's ass.
 
For PG I'd pick Great Tits. They are basically a European chickadee, but bigger. These are smart and crafty birds and are good at adapting to new environments, they can use this craftiness to read the oppositions defenses and devise new ways to attack a real play maker and a floor general, if you will. On top of of their high IQ, these birds are lightening quick, especially in dense vegetative habitats, and very athletic. Some might turn to the peregrine falcon as their PG because it is literally the fastest animal alive, but peregrines and not known as good team players (they would literally kill and eat all the other birds on their own team during pregame work outs). Tits are great communicators and work really well in groups; great team players. They forage all year round in small flocks collectively looking for food and predators, chipping and singing constantly to each other.

 
Ayo said:
Just a 79-inch wingspan? Andean condor and the wandering albatross would kick that thing's ass.
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Those birds, are of course, magnificent and huge, but Albatross are really the Manute Bol of the bird world, zero athleticism and versatility once you get them off the open ocean. Andean Condors might make the list at my back up center, they are carrion eaters and might get you some points cleaning up missed shots and fighting for a rebound but secretary birds are going to kick their ass in a game. Send in the condor when the secretary fouls out.
 
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