I think you are going to lose the crowd on this response. The man just told you that 6 of his friends died in a shitty senseless war and your response is to tell him to get a better out look on life. A simple ‘I am sorry for your loss’ would have been ok. Do better indeed.
This is something I have been working on for the last 5 years or so....listening to people with actual, impacted experience about a "thing." Full stop. Not adding my two cents...not holding up my version or thoughts about it to compare...just hearing it.
I am not very good at it yet. Trying to get better.