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2020 Pit Fantasy Football League One - Edarem vs. Wolf in the 'ship


OK first off, how dare you. Secondly, I'm immature AND a moron.
 
Gooner said:
OK first off, how dare you. Secondly, I'm immature AND a moron.
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Hey, there are plenty of other jokes you can be proud of. The write-ups are fun, and thank you for doing them. Years ago, I used to do something similar for a league I ran. These write-ups take way more time than anyone should reasonably spend on them, and I burned out after about a season and a half.

Also, I was waiting to make that post from about the halfway point of the fourth quarter, hoping that Burkhead wasn't going to get the ball again. You had to do it on the fly.
 
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Great post, again!! My team is crumbling right in front of my eyes. I may never get North of 60 points again. Why did I think getting the dynamic duo of Stafford & Golladay was a great idea?? Rodgers & Adams, Murray & DHop, Wilson & DK, and twenty other combos would have been better. Damn!
 
Come on, Adam Thielen
 
Ugh I'll be sweating out Thielen tonight. Why couldn't I have just started the Green Bay D? I hate fantasy football
 
Quick preview of what is on the line tonight and what has already happened based on finished results:

  • Barca has moved up to 2nd place, leading now 3rd place bern by 1.98 points
  • SD3 has moved up to 4th place, passing Up Schitt's Creek
  • Disco Kid could move up to an astounding 6th place if Empanadas y Arepas can't overcome his 8.2 point deficit with Adam Thielen tonight. If Thielen gets those points back, Disco Kid drops out of the playoff spots.
  • Edarem moves up to a minimum of 8th place, can get up to 6th if Disco Kid loses and Manning's Miracles scores less than 19.91 points with MIN D/ST.
  • Manning's Miracles will move into 8th place if he holds his 7.2 point lead with the MIN D/ST, 7th if they score enough to pass Edarem's total season score. Both placements will be +1 if Disco Kid loses.
  • Fighting Cocks and DeaconPeach fall out of the playoff spots; redwing will likely also unless he can make up a 13.68 point deficit to Sleepy with Cordarrelle Patterson vs. Justin Jefferson, respectively.
  • AnonymousDeac winning will get him to one game back of playoff contention with tiebreakers in his favor; Sleepy joins him in that regard if he holds on against redwing
  • Satan's Minions will be all but mathematically eliminated from playoff contention unless the MIN D/ST scores -7.21 points or less tonight. He will be only 2 games back with 3 games to play, but the remaining matchups mean it is likely that not enough teams could lose all 3 games with Satan winning all 3 to get him to 8th place and point-based tiebreakers all work against him.
  • YoungBuck could join Satan in the all-but-eliminated category if he cannot hold on against DEACHAWK and the potent combination of Dalvin Cook and Allen Robinson.
 
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Damn, I benched Gallman at the last sec and I swear AJ Green is DEAD to me.
 
An uninspiring Cock Watch this week.

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Here are your Week 10 stats.

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Week 10 Awards
  • The "Bee Gees" award for just stayin' alive goes to YoungBuck who had to sweat out an extremely nervy MNF but just managed to hold off Dalvin Cook, Allen Robinson, and DEACHAWK. The win kept YB just one game back of a playoff spot with 3 games to play and at 13th overall score, his tiebreaker situation is better than some. All that matters sometimes is putting yourself in the mix and letting the chips fall where they may.
  • The "Life...Finds A Way" award goes to redwing who has made a historical habit of finding ways to pick great opponents each week and riding mediocre performances to undeserved victories. Seriously, go look at the stats I was pulling last year, he's a god at it. Sadly, life has a way of catching up with all of us and with a playoff berth on the line, redwing picked a horrible week to stop that streak as his 3rd overall score was no match for top scoring Sleepy. Though redwing remains tied for a playoff spot, his 19th overall score leaves him needing some help to nab that final playoff spot. Should have picked the Cocks this week, redwing.
  • The "Disco Kid Memorial" award goes to Ph who also managed to keep himself in the playoff picture with a victory over Up Schitt's Creek despite his 16th overall score this week. Ph's situation is far more dire than YB's as Ph is way back in the tiebreakers, but again, just being in the mix sometimes is all that matters. Meanwhile, USC will likely look back at this week in horror should her season end in disappointment as a victory would have found her in the top 3 and likely guaranteed a playoff spot. Fortunately for USC though, her position is far less precarious than her X chromosome compatriot.
  • The "Chunky Creek" award for this season's biggest train wreck* (link) (seriously, read a book, guys) goes to DeaconPeach as the wheels have officially fallen off the wagon. Yes, I can make two separate vehicular analogies in one award, it's my choice. Peach, my friend, our comrade in arms, we stand with you. A fourth straight loss has seen Peach fall from second place out of the playoff spots with a blowout this week at the hands of Edarem. The Cowboys getting back on track is your last remaining hope and that is the scariest sentence I've typed this whole season. I wish you the best but actually I'm only a few points above you in tiebreaks so please continue your streak, thanks.
  • COCK WATCH: The "One in Five Men" award goes to Fighting Cocks who gave us a truly limp performance this week, setting a record this season (by quite a few inc...points) for lowest score. With his top scoring player being his defense, the Cocks had almost no chance this week, and SD3 allowed the Arizona Cardinals to win on their own with his Cards scoring 47.5 points on their own. I said last week that I was going to give you a freebie watch week, Cocks, but this is egregious. Go see your doctor, get whatever pill is necessary, and get the blood pumping for Week 11 or you will be circumcised from this section for life.
  • The "Superstar" award goes to Tom Brady whose 31.84 points this week led Sleepy to the top score of the week. Honorable non-QB mention to Alvin Kamara who got 31.3 points for AnonymousDeac to get him to 4-6 and back in the playoff picture.
*Historical Note: The Chunky Creek train wreck was not the biggest train wreck in American history. I don't even think it was top five. But the name is the Chunky Creek train wreck, there was no way I wasn't using it.

Week 11 Outlook
Well folks, Rivalry Week has passed us by and it did not disappoint. There was upheaval across the standings as multiple teams fell out of playoff spots, no one has yet been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention (though the finger is on the eject button for you, Satan), and no fewer than 8 teams find themselves tied at 5-5 with 3 games to play. It's anyone's ballgame as we forge ahead and undoubtedly hearts will break, feelings will get hurt, and divorce lawyers may see their Google Trends see a slight uptick. Here's what we've got in store in Week 11:
  • Despite 8 teams being tied at 5-5, only one game this week matches two of those teams up as our fearless and unapologetically handsome leader Manning's Miracles faces the stumbling DeaconPeach. I've seen this movie before, I'm an Arsenal supporter. Biggest game of my season, could go a long way to securing a playoff spot, an opponent who is eminently beatable: Peach is going to win by 30. If any you are gamblers, whatever the Dallas Cowboys line ends up being, BET IT. Andy Dalton is going to have a career game, throw 3 TDs to Amari Cooper, and Zeke will get at least 150 yards. You can thank me later with a beer.
  • The bye week bug has finally truly come to hit Barca at a key time as Josh Allen and the Chicago D/ST take Week 11 off right as a surging Lone Wolf comes to town. Barca's 4-game winning streak and Wolf's 3-game winning streak are the two best in the league right now, but something has to give and Barca is at a clear disadvantage as of now.
    Sidebar: Speaking of Lone Wolf, his story is truly amazing. At one point 0-4 and only getting his first win by the narrowest of margins over another winless team, Wolfy has reeled off 5 wins in 6 games to put himself square in the middle of playoff contention. The Wolf has been a model of consistency the last few weeks with scores of 87.04, 85,78, and 85.08 during his current win streak, and with no bye weeks remaining for his team, there's no reason to think Wolf won't get to his first winning record of the year as Barca struggles to put a competitive team on the field in Week 11. It's truly Cinderella stuff. As the great Tony Stark once said, "Never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history!" I think we can all agree that Lone Wolf is that phoenix. From the ashes, Wolf rises and on his current trajectory will earn the most unlikely of playoff spots. I am rooting for you, Wolfy.
    ​
  • It is with great sadness and even a greater sense of responsibility that I prepare us all to say goodbye to Satan's Minions. A truly gentle fellow with a cautious, yet also open nature, Satan appears to be ready to meet his maker in Week 11. Needing a victory to maintain even the slightest hopes of getting into the playoffs, Satan looks across the field to see bernbp5 staring back. The fantasy gods did not cut Satan a break as Matt Ryan, Travis Kelce, and Jamison Crowder all return from bye week for bern, and Christian McCaffery is nowhere to be found. Satan may just be happy to let it all go this season anyway, it has not been an easy one. Good luck to you in Week 11, Satan, and if it goes wrong, we will see you in 2021.
  • Though we have a dearth of 5-5 matchups this week, four of the five teams at 4-6 face off in Week 11 with AnonymousDeac facing OblongPickle and Sleepy taking on JManslow. This is do or die for all four teams as they could all knock a direct rival essentially out of playoff contention while improving their own odds tremendously. Based on form, you have to favor Nonny and Sleepy coming off wins with both Pickle and JMan trying to stop losing streaks. But fantasy is inherently a game of randomness and if the fantasy gods will your team to surprising victory, it would behoove one to not ask questions. The playoff picture should certainly clear up a bit based on the results of these two games.

That's it for this week, good luck to all in Week 11. Seriously, bet the Cowboys. I would stake my entire OGBoards reputation on it.
 
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Fuck the Saints and fuck Taysom Hill. I drafted that asshole as my backup since he was about the only one left who could put up points. Then finally dropped him a little while back. Now he's actually starting this week and of course I picked up Jameis, who Schefter reports will be part of no offensive packages Sunday.
 
Not relevant for our league but if any of you have teams in ESPN leagues, Taysom Hill has TE eligibility this week even though he was named starting QB due to it being announced after the week had already started games. So if you have the opportunity, grab him, slot him into your TE/FLEX spot and potentially profit bigly as ESPN leagues approach the playoffs.
 
BarcaDeac said:
Fuck the Saints and fuck Taysom Hill. I drafted that asshole as my backup since he was about the only one left who could put up points. Then finally dropped him a little while back. Now he's actually starting this week and of course I picked up Jameis, who Schefter reports will be part of no offensive packages Sunday.
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Thank you for having a higher waiver priority than me this last week! I'd have been equally sour thinking I finally had a solution to my Baker Mayfield problem and then this nonsense news hits. I wonder if this is more about doing what they can to avoid paying Jameis the incentives tied to him getting on the field. If Taysom gets the job done it could save the organization a couple of million. Also had no idea Hill is making like $10M more than Jameis this season. Wow.
 
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I wish I knew all the OGB/league name matches
 
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