How many of the following "guy things" can you do?

Never seen a moose in the wild...but bison are HUGE.

Hot Take: Hunting sounds pretty fucking gay.

pretty sure the only bears I've seen in the wild are black bears and brown bears

the only playing dead is both bears after i double tap them in the dome with my thigh-holstered desert eagle

Moose are huge and scary up close. I was on a backpacking trip a couple of summers ago and one walked up on us at dusk - came up from behind us while we were fishing and we didn't have anywhere to go so we just stood still and let it pass. It came right up to my buddy and sniffed his head before moving on - that was about 10 seconds of shock and horror not knowing how this thing would react. Thankfully it moved on down the trail allowing us to high-tail it back to camp.

Have seen lots moose since then. My favorite CO wildlife experience was probably the time I was floating the Blue River fishing with friends and we saw a beautiful, cinnamon colored black bear on the bank.

ConnorEl said:

I thought you played dead for black and grizzly bears if they’re attacking...?

And stand up tall, scream, and throw shit at cougars, etc....?


I’m only an amateur outdoorsman.

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IIRC, it's fight back with a black bear. Play dead with a brown/grizzly because you can't win or scare them.

You can't win against a black bear if they really want to win, but they're more shy and not agressive. "Cute."

mako1331 said:

That is indeed an incredibly stupid thing to do, Juice.


Dwight Schrute question posed to all of you. Why do you play dead during a grizzly attack and fight back against a black bear attack? Don't google it. Go.

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What ever you do, always be sure to film any bear and cougar encounters with your Iphone and upload it to youtube. Hopefully it goes viral and you get on the local news!

So back when I was in HS, I was on the wrestling team (yes, insert joke here). I was overseas, so the competition was a bit light as it was limited to other DOD schools, which at that time was one other school. Therefore, the coach would contact one of the local schools for some extra practice time for us against quality competition. This particular local school was a sports school. I don't know how else to put it. I don't think they did much anything else but wrestle. These were kids probably in the 12-17 years old range, all with cauliflower ear.

So we treat it like a meet and go out in our sweats and do our calisthenics -- the usual mix of jumping jacks, stretches, and neck bridges (if you were cool like me, you'd go into a neck bridge from a standing position). Then these kids come out, form lines and start doing somersaults across the mat. We kind of snicker among ourselves...until they start doing backflips. Then we're thinking, oh shit, we are going to die and our parents will never hear from us again. I've never been so intimidated by a routine in my life.

Anyway, we had our meet, and miraculously we all survived, and at the end we all got together and they helped us on our backflips because everybody wanted to do that. Yes, I was at some point in the months that followed able to execute one or two where I landed on my feet but still fell forward, but after landing a few too many mostly on my head, I abandoned the backflip thing.

I can also juggle poorly, but only with 3 balls. Can't do the 2 in one hand thing. You can probably tie in the wrestling team joke with ball juggling here.

DeacDiggler said:

BEARS. BEETS. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

I saw a moose near Seward Alaska on our scout trip there a couple of years ago. Hope to add another to the collection when we hit the Tetons in June.

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Take a drive on Moose-Wilson Road at dusk and it's almost a lock. Was there in September and had no less than 5 different sightings. Plenty of bear sightings, too.

DownEastDeac said:

(for the record, I can't do any of these):

Juggle
Ride a unicycle
Dunk a basketball
Handstand
Standing back-flip (on the ground/not a diving board)
Throw a knife or ax and stick it
Bounce a golf ball off the face of a club for more than 3-4 times
Keep a wooden paddle ball thingy going

I've always been horrible at stuff like this; can barely make a Slinky go down two steps.

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none of the first 5, all of the last 3

mako1331 said:

Nobody mentioned attentive cunnilingus yet?

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I presume we all know the alphabet.

I used to be able to dunk a volleyball and do a backflip off the side of the pool. I also used to ice fish and want to get back into it. I can still throw a spiral. That's as manly as I get.