I can see what you are saying, but I think there is a different context as to "Why". Trump was the biggest middle finger you could flip. He cultivated that in a way that none of his GOP primary rivals could, nor could his predecessors. To my surprise, that carried him to victory in the primary and to each of our surprises, the general. Hell, I didn't think it would work but it darn sure did.
I know this is a less satisfying answer than "subhuman trash"/"racism/White supremacy" but a lot of his appeal is how much you guys hate him. A lot of people voted for him to burn it down because they felt left behind. The establishment got mad when he tried to burn down the establishment (duh), but that's what a lot of his voters wanted because they thought the establishment screwed them over (hint: They are right; scoreboard). Those people weren't going to care about his abrupt/vulgar style because the whole point was an "F YOU." The more the better, I suspect.
Smashcut to the Summer of 2020 and the Dem crazies tried to burn down parts of major cities (looting occurred in medium sized ones too). Yes, I know you guys quickly changed the channel but middle America didn't. So they voted for him again because: 1. No really, F YOU, and 2. The media that they think lied to them was lying to them in real-time ("CNN: Peaceful protests" when Dems light city blocks on fire, but Trump has an outdoor rally and it's a "Superspreader event"*). The reason to vote for him (F You again) in their mind was bigger in 2020 than in 2016. The only reason that they cared that he drove yall crazy is because they loved it. I certainly understand why that alienates you, but chalking all (not some but all) of it up to racism is a #comfortable way to avoid the fact that his supporters were trying to tell you that the system failed them (true) and there wasn't any louder way to say it. The media trying to kill him only further validated him in their minds. The right people weren't just mad, they were losing their minds. From my point of view, that's what makes Trump different at the electoral level than his predecessors.