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On An Airplane Next To A Fat Guy

Flight attendants are about as useful as toll both attendants unless you're sitting in first class. Then they all of the sudden become great people.
 
I prefer the aisle seat, but I hate the stewardesses who, rather than let you know they are about to bring the cart by, just ram your knee that is sticking 1-2 inches into the aisle as you make yourself comfortable.

I bet on the flight attendant boards they are complaining about the assholes who leave their knees in the aisle.

That said, I too hate when that happens.
 
Yeah, that sucks, but it's hard to argue with the logic of premium pricing for a superior good.

Yep makes perfect sense; just wish you could book 6C for example and not have to wait until <24 hours before the flight to do so.

Another good moneymaker for the airlines is the $125 one way fee for a cat or small dog in a carrier. Guessing most of that money goes to TSA since is animal is confined to a carry-on bag under the seat. The fee was $100 until last month.
 
Yeah, I don't feel bad at all about airlines gouging people who want to take their fucking cat cross country for a few days. If it makes them rethink their stupid decision, then even better.
 
Yep makes perfect sense; just wish you could book 6C for example and not have to wait until <24 hours before the flight to do so.

Another good moneymaker for the airlines is the $125 one way fee for a cat or small dog in a carrier. Guessing most of that money goes to TSA since is animal is confined to a carry-on bag under the seat. The fee was $100 until last month.

Why would any of this money go to the TSA?
 
Why would any of this money go to the TSA?

Because the only time the animal is out of the carrier is when the owner carries them through security....TSA deals with that. The airline doesn't do anything.

:noidea:
 
I bet on the flight attendant boards they are complaining about the assholes who leave their knees in the aisle.

That said, I too hate when that happens.

There are not many flight attendants who warrant this anymore, but on that rare occasion when you get a semi-attractive one, I'll put my forearm as far over on the armrest w/o being obvious so it rubs her butt when she goes by.
 
Why stop with your forearm? Why not just prop your elbow on the aisle-side armrest and ease your face out into the aisle and get a nice whiff of her ass through the polyester skirt as it brushes against your cheek?
 
Why stop with your forearm? Why not just prop your elbow on the aisle-side armrest and ease your face out into the aisle and get a nice whiff of her ass through the polyester skirt as it brushes against your cheek?

Nobody wants pink eye.
 
Yeah, I don't feel bad at all about airlines gouging people who want to take their fucking cat cross country for a few days. If it makes them rethink their stupid decision, then even better.

I found a stray cat under my car in the gym parking lot this summer. It was not doing well, from the looks of it, but we made eye contact so I felt trapped. So I got it cleaned up, treated, fixed, and vaccinated at the vet, but didn't know what to do with it (I already have enough pets, and none of my friends would adopt it). I didn't want to just abandon it again. I was stuck. Then I was talking to my grandmother on the phone, she'd just lost her dog of 16 years, and was overjoyed at the prospect of a new cat. So I flew this damn 1K-in-medical-bills-cat halfway across the country and delivered it to her. She loves the little guy.

I was fairly pissed that the airline gouged me for the right to use carry-on space rightly belonging to my seat without bringing any other bags, but whatever. I'm the asshat who flew a stray cat to Chicago for his grandmother.
 
I was fairly pissed that the airline gouged me for the right to use carry-on space rightly belonging to my seat without bringing any other bags, but whatever. I'm the asshat who flew a stray cat to Chicago for his grandmother.

This so sweet!
 
I found a stray cat under my car in the gym parking lot this summer. It was not doing well, from the looks of it, but we made eye contact so I felt trapped. So I got it cleaned up, treated, fixed, and vaccinated at the vet, but didn't know what to do with it (I already have enough pets, and none of my friends would adopt it). I didn't want to just abandon it again. I was stuck. Then I was talking to my grandmother on the phone, she'd just lost her dog of 16 years, and was overjoyed at the prospect of a new cat. So I flew this damn 1K-in-medical-bills-cat halfway across the country and delivered it to her. She loves the little guy.

I was fairly pissed that the airline gouged me for the right to use carry-on space rightly belonging to my seat without bringing any other bags, but whatever. I'm the asshat who flew a stray cat to Chicago for his grandmother.

Probably could have just found her a stray cat in Chicago.
 
I took a couple trips on usair with baby squirrels under my seat. Told them it was kittens because I wasn't sure if they'd be cool with squirrels, what with the squirrel aids and all. Worked out fine. I gave the little guys my peanuts, but I think the mean one was bogarting all of them. The poor retarded one probably didn't even get any.
 
Oh God I hate that. I was flying home at Thanksgiving and I had an aisle seat. Someone was sitting in my seat and I kindly asked them to move "but I'd rather have an aisle seat!" Tough shit, you had the option to pick when you checked in. If you were too late and this was all they had, it's your own fault.

Wait, s/he actually put up any kind of argument when you asked them to get out of YOUR seat?
 
Wait, s/he actually put up any kind of argument when you asked them to get out of YOUR seat?

People have all kinds of entitlement issues. Someone asked for my bobblehead at a baseball game because "I got here late and I didn't get one".
 
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