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On An Airplane Next To A Fat Guy

I think I've mentioned this, but my wife and I always book aisle/window and hope that no one is in the middle. Used to work maybe half the time, but not anymore with travel demand/flights being cut. Still no big deal, as anymore will prefer the window over the middle and gladly switch.

But, it's crazy to me that on one of our flights from Greece, with plenty of seats still available, someone has booked and chosen (or I guess was assigned, and has not changed) the middle seat between us. Willfully flying solo in a middle seat for 9.5 hours is serial killer shit.

They are hoping to grope you
 
eat less thighs fit

Speaking of thighs, I call the 50ish pear ladies that look like they ate Ohio and it went straight to their hips "thigh oozers." The armrests should go all the way to the cushion so their fat bounces back into their space instead of oozing into mine.
 
Heads up, got it on good authority that if you are flying southwest this weekend you are fucked bigly.

Good news is that if your flying this weekend your probably fucked bigly.
 
The best middle seat option is when your kids are in the 5-11 range. You put one on the aisle, one in the window, raise the armrests and enjoy an extra wide seat.
 
Yep. That’s my wife’s spot. I’m in the aisle and I get things they need from the carryon and used to handle bathroom duties.
 
I have a friend of mine who travels more than me and always books the middle seat. Dude is 6” 4” and played D2 football as a linebacker.

I don't throw this word around lightly, but that is psychotic. I feel really bad for normal/larger people he's seated with.
 
I don't know how long the Greensboro airport will be able to hold out as airlines continue to trim the fat.

United Airlines is dropping 3 routes and leaving 2 cities indefinitely in its latest network adjustment.

The carrier will no longer fly to Texarkana, Texas, or Flagstaff, Arizona, come this fall.

United is also dropping its short route between Los Angeles and San Diego after flying it for 40 years.

Here are the details:

  • Flights between Texarkana, Texas, and Houston will end on September 6.
  • Flights between Flagstaff, Arizona, and Denver will end on October 30.
  • Flights between Los Angeles and San Diego will end on October 30.

The carrier flew to Texarkana from Houston and Flagstaff from Denver, but United's departure means both cities will only have commercial airline service from American Airlines. The Texas-based carrier flies to Texarkana from Dallas/Fort Worth and to Flagstaff from Dallas/Fort Worth and Phoenix.
 
With no more United flights to Flagstaff, AZ... how will Aunt Edna's corpse get back to Cousin Normie's house?
 
New one for me. SWA Denver-BWI. I know, poverty right? I hate SW. Somehow with my A39 there was a bulkhead aisle available. Obviously my tall ass took it. Jimmy from accounts receivable had the window and placed his manpurse in the middle. Saving it for his C class wife. He navigated that well when others asked about it, saying "I was hoping to save this for my wife" and the askers nicely moved on.

Wife finally arrives. Good news, she is a tiny person and Jimmy is skinny too, so I know I am getting that armrest while she leans left.

Wife's mom comes in shortly thereafter. She and wife navigate finding overhead space 10 rows back at this point (C class losers). Wife gets back from the luggage adventure and quietly says to me "when my mom asks you to switch seats, please say no" and I respond "I'm not giving up this aisle legroom seat for anything south of 1000 dollars, but I feel you, I too have traveled with my mother."

Moms had middle BH across the aisle and she kept trying to talk to to daughter and daughter just pointed at her headphones. Good times. Great flight.
 
Just a few random thoughts and questions:

- if the plane is new, when we land, should the entire overhead bin storage (in middle of plane) shake violently and sway like a pendulum? Missing screws upon installation? Ready to crash down on people?

- i am on the aisle and my family is a few rows up (?), you are superhot candidly, and your husband looks like a karate champion, and he is winning at the window seat; you are in the middle seat. it's a long flight. everyone is faux-sleeping and you keep rubbing up against me with your feet and legs - i am now very uncomfortable by this. what do i do?

- why do you, way across the way, open your window when the sun rises? we are all sleeping and/or do not want light blazing our retinas

- your food smells bad; all the food smells like burnt cheese and bad meat; everybody is eating it; wait 45-60 minutes and the whole plane smells bad as people fart and go to the bathroom; note to self: always use bathroom BEFORE meals arrive

- the xanax and wine combination works, but the kids will not sleep and keep walking back to mess with me ("where is mom?") - so i have to be awake and that's a bad situation when we land as now i can barely move/exhausted and i am in charge of all things luggage

- i am on the aisle, you just slammed me again while stumbling to the bathroom, and then held my seat back to help yourself walk - that's not cool

- and finally, if you sit in front of me and recline your seat - i am screwed. but you do it anyway, never fails
 
Sounds like an action packed flight. Overseas I assume?

I generally much prefer windows open to shades down (lessens the feeling that you're hurtling through the atmosphere in a sardine can) , but if someone can tell the sun angle is absolutely destroying fellow passengers, they've got to close it, at least to the point where the majority of the rays are blocked. The new Dreamliners have the shade dimming functionality vs. manual open/close and are automatically dimmed at night/early AM, which is sweet. The bluish hue they give off when you have them at half-dim is oddly comforting, too.

You have to expect people to recline on long flights. If I have any intention of sleeping, I'm always reclining.
 
I have a kid that's probably 5'1 and maybe 88 pounds in my 2nd period class and his name is Adonis.
 
Sounds like an action packed flight. Overseas I assume?

I generally much prefer windows open to shades down (lessens the feeling that you're hurtling through the atmosphere in a sardine can) , but if someone can tell the sun angle is absolutely destroying fellow passengers, they've got to close it, at least to the point where the majority of the rays are blocked. The new Dreamliners have the shade dimming functionality vs. manual open/close and are automatically dimmed at night/early AM, which is sweet. The bluish hue they give off when you have them at half-dim is oddly comforting, too.

You have to expect people to recline on long flights. If I have any intention of sleeping, I'm always reclining.

Yea, Domestic flights I never recline. Overseas flights I almost always do. Plus the people in front of you usually do as well so it doesn't give you a choice.
 
Yea, Domestic flights I never recline. Overseas flights I almost always do. Plus the people in front of you usually do as well so it doesn't give you a choice.

Only acceptable recline times are overseas flights OR cross-country domestic red-eyes.
 
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