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How Many Times Have You Been High?

some guy jumped in front of the subway train last night while i was on the platform. i was not looking. since its on this thread, you know how i was feeling. i was watching the train come out of the tunnel thinking "wow, i feel like i've never been in a metro where the train comes out that fast and from such a hidden tunnel, like you don't even see it coming it just explodes out of the tunnel." then, thud.

also - that is the 2nd time this has happened to me in about a month and a half. the other time, i had just gotten through the turnstiles and saw the train screeching to a halt

I don't feel like this got enough attention. So in the past month you've seen 2 dudes kill themselves by jumping in front of subway cars? Is that a really common thing? Are you okay? What did you do after witnessing their deaths? Was it like in that recent episode of "Louie" when the bum got decapitated by the garbage truck and Louie had to go directly from there to a first date with a chick?

Also, there's this:

dogsled.gif
 
Boom's suicide subway story, Townie's story, and Boogity's story (though on the wrong thread) have all been golden.
 
Boom told me the first one was really bad because it was an above ground platform and her mangled body was hanging over the street dripping blood.
 
Ok so this was the 2nd post in the thread.

I'll post about the worst place I ever got baked.

It started great. We were in Amsterdam. It was early afternoon, and we wanted to smoke the rest of our stuff before we got on the train to the airport. We made sure to figure out what trains we needed to get before we blazed, because that shit is confusing. No English whatsoever, and Dutch is a fucking crazy language. Anyway, so we smoked, dumped all our papers, and even split a piece of space cake for good measure. It made the plane ride AWESOME, though the dry mouth was among the worst I've had. Still it was a good laugh when, as always when you're flying RyanAir, and the plane lands in your destination country, and this trumpet sound comes over the intercom, and this bro comes over the PA and says "CONGRATULATIONS! You've just been a part of another successful RyanAir flight!" As if it's a sheer miracle you just survived the flight. Anyway, we land back in London, and train back into the city, headed back to the Wake house. The tube lets off at Chalk Farm, we walk up the steps to head out, and we're met with a line of 10 cops with dogs. Immediately, these two German Shepherds just beeline for my nuts. What I took as "empty your pockets" was actually "keep your hands out of your pockets" and they pushed me up against a wall and led my friends away. While I tried to decipher this cockney dude's questions, and I was giggling to myself about the dogs smelling each others' butts, he was searching all my bags. The most unlikely quote of all, while searching a drug suspect, was "Sweaters, Bailey's, cigars. A man after my own heart." He finally asked me why I thought the dogs went after me if I was clean. I told them I just got back from Amsterdam, and he said "Well why didn't you tell me so? We would have let you go!" That shit totally harshed my buzz. Better than getting arrested, I guess. Also we were late for class, but that part wasn't so bad.

it basically is a miracle that you survive a ryanair flight. everyone always claps when you land and that makes me really uneasy too.
 
i haven't seen them kill themselves, but i've been on the platform.

the first was at 231st st. in the bronx. i walked through the turnstiles as the train was coming, walked out on the platform and people were walking away with their hands over their mouths, etc. this one was particularly bad because its an elevated track, so the woman's body was like, hanging through the tracks and dripping onto the street below. i got my free ride (jackpot!) and went downstairs, where people were crowded around looking up. i had no interest in looking up. i was sober for that one.

that was early august sometime. the latest one from monday night, i was on the platform at 1st ave, and watching the train as i explained. i thought i heard a thud and someone scream, but i thought it was just the train's brakes. i sort of listened, hoping to hear the brakes make that noise again, then some guy just yelled "OH SHIT! HE JUST GOT HIT BY THE TRAIN! THAT GUY JUST JUMPED IN FRONT OF IT!" it sort of started to smell and i was OUTTA THERE.

both have been an incredible inconvenience.
 
Oh man, I just typed out this awesome story about this bike ride I had the other day where I had this semi-revelation, but accidentally deleted it because I am listening to this Hall & Oates album, of all things, and was so blown away about how much I'm digging it (Abandoned Luncheonette), that I went to the Music Thread to post about Hall & Oates (really, I can't believe I'm typing it myself) and navigated away from the post.

Poof.

Maybe some other time.

Instead:







 
I think that the blonde chick in this scene from Superbad is the worst actress I've ever seen, which is impressive given that she has like 2 lines:

 
Wake and bake in preparation for watching the Wake/BC game. It usually makes Wake football more entertaining.
 
The Others was on TV last night but I changed it to The A Team movie before it got to scurry. Actually enjoyed The A Team once I accepted its ridiculousness.
 
The other day I was sitting at a stop sign when I saw a dude pull off the side of the road, get out of his car, and start collecting mushrooms that were growing from the grass on the the right-of-way. Made me wonder what percentage of random mushrooms you might find in your yard are edible. 10? 50? I am intrigued. FREE FOOD.

I think I'm going to the state fair this week. Fried twinkie. Mmmmm...
 
I don't feel like it is discussed enough that the best baseball player in the world has a last name that's pronounced like "Poo Holes." I suspect that if Lebron James's name was Lebron Dookybohls, everyone everywhere would make fun of that all the time.
 
Initially I did not see your list of 3 reasons, so for a few seconds I sat there looking at that picture wondering what the 3 reasons were. I was thinking it had something to do with the open-mouthed chick holding a phallic-looking cone with some white stuff on top, but then I was like, "dude, if Townie's dick looks like that, that is messed up."

Then I saw your list of 3 reasons and was relieved.
 
People always joke about getting Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton mixed up, but how about this one?:

Laura Dern and Laura Linney
They both have 30-hour "dramadies" on HBO/Showtime right now, both blonde, about the same age, both named Laura. I am always confused by that. If Helen Hunt's name was Laura Hunt, it would be even more confusing. I think they're all the same person.
 
Leonardo DiCaprio's old-age make-up in this upcoming J. Edgar Hoover movie looks ridiculous.
 
There have been only 8 recorded tornadoes in the history of Washington, DC, but one of them occurred the day after the British set fire to the city in 1814. Ended up fucking up the British army and putting out the fire. WEIRD.
 
I really like this picture for 3 reasons right now

nestle_drumstick.jpg


1. The innuendo. Nice face.
2. I WOULD MURDER THAT ICE CREAM CONE RIGHT NOW IT LOOKS SO TASTY
3. I guess it's a mousepad, and that's dope.

Our office manager started ordering drum sticks for the office recently. It's the worst possible thing for my health. I just can't resist the 2pm drum stick to gimme the sugar rush I need to stay awake from 2-3.
 
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