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How Many Times Have You Been High?

I just spent a few minutes online trying to find that Real World: Philadelphia episode when drunk Landon goes dark side of chimps and puts like 4 steak knives in his back pocket with the intent of approaching this group of dudes and, presumably, stabbing them to death on camera. Not available free online. The internet has totally betrayed me.

Speaking of, this is a top 5 all time Real World moment, from the Seattle season. YOU DUMP ME TO MY FAAAAAAACEEE!!!:



Wife is hosting a lady party downstairs with like an entire table full of cupcakes and little mini ham and cheese sliders and deviled eggs, and M&M and stuff. OH SHIT, right as I posted that sentence to the left, my wife walked in with a plate. 2 sliders. 2 deviled eggs. Some salad (whaaat?). A brownie. A cupcake with like coconut on top. This is me right now:

thirdworldsuccess.PNG
 
The bonus room in my house has all these little hideway storage nooks. I totally love them, but I think about how much I would have loved them when I was 9 years old. My head would have exploded. Back when I was a little dude, my spot was this little empty space under the basement stairs. Made myself a sweet little fort. Do kids these days do that kind of shit? Or are they all just playing XBox? Hopefully they're still doing cool shit. Couple little dudes in my neighborhood, but I don't think they do cool stuff. Occasionally they play basketball. About a week ago I was doing some yardwork while the little dudes were hanging out outside next door, and one of them said the word "shit." THE END OF THE INNOCENCE.

Goddamn, this coconut cupcake is the dick and the nuts.

I kind of want to open a small movie theater where you can come in and get strong during the movie. No judgments. There are definitely concerts where everyone is out in the open smoking up. We need to figure out how to do the same, but be a movie theater. Also, it would be cool to be able to get high during football and basketball games. And at baseball games too. Ever gotten strong and gone to a Wake Forest football game? El Chupe American Hero and I have done that a couple of times and it is pretty sweet.
 
Used to get strong and go to wake soccer. That was unbeatable. Also, to your point about childhood fuckabouterie (French word), I used to literally just hit trees with sticks for hours on end. Like, fuck you tree, die! And also I threw a lot of nerf football, especially the whistling kind.

When the vortex came out, it was an absolute gamechanger. We used to wear those things out.
 
I just spent a few minutes online trying to find that Real World: Philadelphia episode when drunk Landon goes dark side of chimps and puts like 4 steak knives in his back pocket with the intent of approaching this group of dudes and, presumably, stabbing them to death on camera. Not available free online. The internet has totally betrayed me.

Speaking of, this is a top 5 all time Real World moment, from the Seattle season. YOU DUMP ME TO MY FAAAAAAACEEE!!!:



Wife is hosting a lady party downstairs with like an entire table full of cupcakes and little mini ham and cheese sliders and deviled eggs, and M&M and stuff. OH SHIT, right as I posted that sentence to the left, my wife walked in with a plate. 2 sliders. 2 deviled eggs. Some salad (whaaat?). A brownie. A cupcake with like coconut on top. This is me right now:

thirdworldsuccess.PNG


i was very happy to picture you sitting upstairs in a dark room in front of your computer, strong as hell while your wife holds a lady party downstairs.
 
meeting up with my new strength coach here in about an hour. first time dealing with a girl, but she's cool as hell. plays for the other team though. maybe we can talk about chicks.

she makes me text her in german though and then we speak in english and i guess it's cool because it helps my german get better but at the same time it's super fucking annoying because her english is way better than my german.

anyway i'll be back here later tonight to let you guys know how it went.
 
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I kind of want to open a small movie theater where you can come in and get strong during the movie. No judgments. There are definitely concerts where everyone is out in the open smoking up. We need to figure out how to do the same, but be a movie theater. Also, it would be cool to be able to get high during football and basketball games. And at baseball games too. Ever gotten strong and gone to a Wake Forest football game? El Chupe American Hero and I have done that a couple of times and it is pretty sweet.

we sometimes get strong in the car before the game and at halftime too, need that strength boost for to keep our cheering up for the second half.
 
well that went well last night. i may have said some inappropriate things but whatever i was strong. not my fault. alsooooo ate a block of cheese
 
Spent the day giving my car a full detail. I've gotta admit, I'm fucking beat. To celebrate being so productive, I got ridiculously strong, poured myself a beer, destroyed a Carl's Jr. teriyaki burger and popped "Transformers: The Movie" in the DVD player. Life is good.
 
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meeting up with my new strength coach here in about an hour. first time dealing with a girl, but she's cool as hell. plays for the other team though. maybe we can talk about chicks.

she makes me text her in german though and then we speak in english and i guess it's cool because it helps my german get better but at the same time it's super fucking annoying because her english is way better than my german.

anyway i'll be back here later tonight to let you guys know how it went.

This reminds of my semester at the Flow House. Trying to be smooth in another language where you don't know common slang is an experience in and of itself. I'll never forget the adventure my buddy and I went on after we had been in Vienna for a week. Took us about 3-4 hours but it was great once we crossed the finish line.
 
I think a group of folks should get strong and spend the night in Tsy's haunted house. Can you imagine being real stoned and seeing a ghost or phantom or something? You'd be all like, "shiiiiiiiiiiit." Although I kind of feel like being strong would keep you from getting scared. I'd be more likely to try to talk to it and find out some shit. Seeing a naked ghost would be pretty sweet if she was hot. You never hear about naked ghosts though. In parts of Africa and South America and places of that nature, do their ghosts wear loincloths? Does an Eskimo ghost wear a big ass parka? See, this is why I don't really believe it ghosts. All our American ghosts are wearing either Civil War uniforms or like long dresses and suits. I want to see a ghost wearing a hypercolor t-shirt and a pair of umbros. Or a naked chick ghost.

So, last week the daycare gave us a package of pictures of our little dude and I was all like, "neat. Do we have to pay for these?" The mrs was all, "they didn't say anything about that, so no, I think they're included in our daycare payment." Fair enough. So I cut up a few photos and shared them with family. Soooooooo, TODAY I get this email and it's all like, "return the photos or pay for them muthafucka." But I've already cut a picture out of a few of the sheets, so now I have to pay for them. How much do you think a couple glamour shots of a baby costs? 10? 15? My friends, this shit is costing me like $50. WTF?? So I've been scammed by my daycare (and technically my wife, but I forgive her). I should post on that other thread.

My dogs got some leftover steak with their kibble tonight and they are fucking thankful. You are welcome, animals.

I wonder who invented the term, "old school."

Did you guys ever eat at a Chi-Chi's? We used to get that shit when I was a little kid and I liked it. But the best part is that they had fried ice cream that was pretty much the greatest thing that has ever been invented. It's not that fried ice cream at your typical Mexican place where they take a scoop of ice cream and roll it in cornflakes. No, this was a scoop of ice cream that was deep fried in a legit cinnamon crust stuff. It was amaaaaaahhhhzing. And this is a Chi-Chi's which is not exactly the best food ever. But man that was good. I think Chi-Chi's closed down when they got a bunch of people sick with contaminated enchiladas or something. They do still make salsa though. Which is sort of weird, since I don't think the restaurant exists, but now they still make salsa? WEIRD.

DWARVES OUT WITH YOUR COCKS OUT.
 
That was goddamn beautiful.

Here's my question. I'm out of town on bidnass, and my sweet hotel which is actually the nicest around is betwixt a walmart and a sams club. I think sams club is the same thing but you just pay extra to get away from the peeps at wal mart, yes? Either way it has been fascinating to spend several days with the 99%. No wonder those dwarves are so pissed.
 
Kinda wish I could get married again just so that I could stage my first dance to this song. A real missed opportunity. I've just listened to it like twice in a row and it really takes me back. One of you unmarried mofos should borrow this idea. Deacphan!! Do it.

 
You college kids who live in dorms and have sweet ass HDTVs -- does Wake give you guys cable boxes? I know you can pick up the networks in HD via over-the-air, but do you also have access to HD cable channels? Can't imagine watching any sports, or Mad Men, or pretty much anything else in SD.

I don't feel like I graduated a long, long time ago, but I think campus life is probably a lot different now. Having cell phones is pretty cool. We didn't have cell phones back then. If I hadn't already talked to him, the only way to figure out where RubbinsRacin was on a Friday night was to look for the blue lights of the campus PD.

You know what's a pretty cool channel to watch when you're strong? -- Travel Channel. Only thing is that you'll see a bunch of stuff where you'll be all like, "damn, I wish I could go there" and it'll make you feel a little sad. Or maybe not sad, but wistful. I think that's the first time I've ever used the word wistful. Good word. If you look at it though, it's a weird word. "Full of wist" I've definitely never used the word wist. WIST. WIST. I like it.

There's an old Calvin & Hobbes comic where I think Hobbes revealed that "smock" was his favorite word. Smock. I've always loved that word.

I took French in high school and my favorite French words were "boule de neige" and "sacados." I probably didn't spell either of those correctly. I think "sacados" means sleeping bag. A "boule de neige" is a snowball. Say it: boule de neige. That's a fun word to say. My favorite Spanish word is "sacapuntas." It sounds vaguely dirty.

Man, that French class was probably the most boring class I ever had in my life. I remember seriously just sitting at my desk and staring at my notebook, wishing the clock would speed up. I don't know how we made it through high school classes.

This pistachio commercial with the Winklevoss twins makes them look douchey.

DWARVES AND GINGERS, KILL YOURSELVES YOU ASSHOLES.
 
You know, that first Nelly Furtado album was actually pretty good. She sold out like a motherfucker. But, then in that first album she had a song about selling out, so I'm not sure it's fair to call her out on it.
 
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