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How Many Times Have You Been High?

A lot of people complain about the world (I do too). But sometimes you have to look at yourself before you're critical of everything else. Take me for example. For some reason, my right nipple is bigger than my left. Weird, right? I'm not that mad because its something I have no control over. It's not like I was at the nipple market and was like, "lemme get that regular left, and ummmmm I'm gonna mix it up and try the large right one today Joe." The worst thing is it's not big all the time. If I'm cold or just out of the shower it's equal to its brother on the left. That really sucks because now I know it can be normal but just wants to be difficult and be all big and shit.
 
Here are some famous people I would like to hang out with:

- Quentin Tarantino
- Danny McBride
- Fuck, I just zoned out for seriously like 4 minutes thinking about who else, but then just started thinking about how Danny McBride might have been over at School of the Arts for part of the time I was at Wake. So I totally COULD have potentially hung out with that dude, to the extent we were in the same town. But, realistically, at the time I would not have been all that interested in hanging out with a dude from the School of the Arts. Rubbins would have though.

I'm going to think more about famous people I'd like to hang out with, then get back to you. Seth Rogen, that would be another cool dude to hang with. Whew....STRONG. LOTS OF STRENGTH HERE.
 
Pretty sure I was at a wssu party with petey pablo once. There were only 2 white dudes there including me, and only one wake-ish white dude (me). We fuckin partied that night. I made out with this chick that was like the beyonce of Patterson Avenue. That counts right?
 
also this was a pre-super-famous petey pablo and he was all like 'you gonna tap dat riiiight! heeee heeee heeeee white boy got game spin it holla!!
 
Here are some famous people I would like to hang out with:

- Quentin Tarantino
- Danny McBride
- Fuck, I just zoned out for seriously like 4 minutes thinking about who else, but then just started thinking about how Danny McBride might have been over at School of the Arts for part of the time I was at Wake. So I totally COULD have potentially hung out with that dude, to the extent we were in the same town. But, realistically, at the time I would not have been all that interested in hanging out with a dude from the School of the Arts. Rubbins would have though.

I'm going to think more about famous people I'd like to hang out with, then get back to you. Seth Rogen, that would be another cool dude to hang with. Whew....STRONG. LOTS OF STRENGTH HERE.

I think Tarantino would suck to hang out with, particularly if you were high. He'd be all squirmy and annoying and you'd just be like what's your deal relax bro.
 
Also, this Tarantino post got me thinking about directors, and I was thinking about Coppola and everyone agrees that one of the worst parts of the Godfather 3 is Sofia Coppola's awful acting, at this point don't we have the technology where we could just digitally replace her with a better actress? The movie still wouldn't be awesome but it would be better.
 
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broke my nose yesterday, Doc prescribed hydrocodone.

triscuits are the shit.
 
Heyheyheyhey muthafuckas!

No matter how many times I see this, it will delight me for the rest of life:

I personally believe, that U.S. Americans, are unable to do so, because uh, some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. and uh…I believe that our education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as...and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

STRONG TALK.

I saw a Subway ad on TV advertising their pepperoni sub for $5 and I realized that I have no goddamn clue what a pepperoni is or how you make it. I'm thinking they just take a bunch of sausage and mix a bunch of spices and stuff, then mash it up and cook it somehow (?), then it comes out in a big tube. It is just weird to think about someone cooking a pepperoni, like before it becomes PEPPERONI, ya know? Somewhere in Naples there's some old Italian grandma with an oven full of spicy sausage, in the process of becoming pepperoni. I may be way, way off with this.

I can hear music way off in the background right now, like a mile or so away, but can't quite make out the song. I think it's a beach music band. They're...oh shit, I just realized they're playing "Listen to the Music." OH FUCK __THAT'S THE DOOBIE BROTHERS. Jesus that is a weird coincidence. I feel like the thread should end on that.

The last few pictures on this thread have really brought me great joy. (just heard a bat sound outside)

I want to hear more about your bro getting busted by your mom. I feel like there's a fun story behind that.

DWARVESDWARVESDWARVS <----- that can all be typed with one hand

I would pay $250 right now for a fried twinkie from the State Fair. Or some goddamn tractor ice cream.
 
oh man that was not how i thought he was gonna spell that
 
'Suuuuuup, ya'll??

You know, it's been enough time where I can now revisit this video and be totally fucking amazed at how amazingly funny this is. You just get to the point where you've seen it so many times, that your appreciation diminishes for how funny it is. But, after a while, you can view it fresh and realizes it's amaaaaaahzing. This is that:



How come black people say they want to "ax" you a question? It's weird. Not being racist or whatever, I've just literally in the past week had 2 very educated black females say "ax" you a question, like she was one of those crazy chicks on Jerry Springer or something.

DOUBLE COMPLETE RAINBOW OH MY FUCKING GOD <maniacal laugh>

I wonder what this Russell Brand show on FX is going to be like. That could end up being really funny.

BEST PARTS OF A BANANA SPLIT:
(1) pineapple chunks
(2) ice cream
(3) hot fudge
(5) strawberry
(6) whipped cream
(7) banana
(8) cherry
(9) nuts

Is that everything? Yeah, the pineapple sauce #1 part might be controversial, but I don't usually ever have that stuff EXCEPT with a banana split, so I hold it in high esteem.

The new Miami Marlins logo and uniform colors -- meh.

Rafael Furcal kind of seems like the dude who would run up to you naked and start humping you like a little spider monkey. He just gives off that vibe.
 
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS??:

http://ht.ly/bbqzW

Dude, those facebook comments below the video are the best thing I've ever read. Sample:

"Autumn Joye Martin · Subscribe · CNA/Caregiver at Sitters Etc. (Professionalized Home Health Care)
Here I was excited looking through the comments wanting to read about other who believed in mermaids and all I see are people bacsing and hating on it, I was very disappointed. Saying this and getting this off of my chest I still believe and always had had a feeling that they were real, just hiding for safety. I wouldn't want to be an unknown species found, in this dog eat dog either."
 
phish coming up on the live youtube channel in just a few. rumors flying that this will out dankify hampton day two 95 and limestone 97! No weh!!!1!!!1!!!
 
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