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How Many Times Have You Been High?

I'm not sure if this sentence was intentional, but if so, it is brilliant.

Gosh, what to discuss? I've hit the bike-riding bear and chimps, so perhaps we need to branch off from the animal kingdom. That is an interesting thing I hadn't considered though -- being enhanced at the zoo. Never tried it, never heard of anyone trying it. But, man, that could be really interesting. Best animal to see under those circumstances would have to be the seals or otters or another one of those playful water marmots. They would be swimming around and stuff and you'd probably think they were fucking with you.

Dammit, I specifically didn't want to discuss animals, but I just wrote a whole paragraph about the zoo. FOCUS. Anyyyyywaaayyyy, man, here is a very chill song. You should listen to it:

i've actually done this and i can tell you that the best animals are the gorillas. i know, i was surprised too. THEY ARE SO HUMAN-LIKE
 
How much more improved do you estimate that your life would be if, every single day, you could sleep until you woke up naturally? Every day. No alarm clock. You woke up and did your thing just like usual - work, school, whatever - but the only difference is that life is such that you don't have to be anywhere in the morning at any particular time.

I think my life would be 33% improved if that were the case.
 
I read this piece by Chuck Klosterman somewhere a long time ago (perhaps it was in Esquire) about his specific favorite moments from various songs that he liked. I think about this from time to time whenever I realize there is such an awesome quick moment in a song I'm listening to. (Note: an example in pop culture is the deleted scene on the Almost Famous DVD when Russell Hammond talks about the single "woo" at the end of the 2nd verse of Marvin Gaye's "What's Happening Brother")

I mention this because I recently added a new one of these to my list. For whatever reason, I really like the harmony on the vocal "for" that Fleet Foxes hit at the 2:29 mark of the song "Helplessness Blues."

 
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That's a subtle one 420. Nice. Me and this chick I was with in high school had this one moment of a James Taylor song like that...it was this one bass chord that really stuck out. We were all banged up one night listening to that song in my car, and we were like "that's awesome. that is our chord...I'll think about you forever when I hear that." (or some such high school sap). I still think about her when I hear that song and I wait for that bass chord. She's married to a dude in Aerosmith now, so she probably doesn't think about me as much, although we do still hang out once in a blue moon.

Anywho, here's some song moments I've been grooving on recently. And by that, I mostly mean that when this part comes up I do a ridiculous job of singing it which drives my wife crazy, and I often sing it even when the song is not being played:

Wagon Wheel- "I pick a banjo now!" and "ah Johnson City Tenn-ah-SEEE!"
Ryan Bingham, Bread and Water- the part about Louisiana.
 
Funny that everyone has their favorites. I'm sure I'll be hearing Rubbins singing John-ason City Tenn-ah-SEEE! very soon.

Here's another one of mine. I love the doo-doo-doo-doo-doo guitar lick at the 4:11 mark of this song:

 
Awesome.
funny-facebook-fails-an-offer-she-couldnt-refuse.jpg
 
What up, boners?

I'm watching the Braves-Diamondbacks game right now and am struck by how Kirk Gibson c.2011 looks absolutely nothing like Kirk Gibson c.1984. Am I taking crazy pills? Check this shit out:

3bf0a_017039381.jpg
Kirk+Gibson+PDwefZFmmbbm.jpg


I'm 32 years old right now. Is is possible that 27 years from now, when I'm 59, I'm going to look like I had my entire head off and replaced with a different head and face? I mean, I'm sure I'll have wrinkles and gray hair and stuff, but I suspect people will be able to look at the photos of me at 32 vs. 59 and tell that I'm the same person.

So basically what I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure this "Kirk Gibson" is an imposter.
 
HOLY....SHIT



You absolutely must see 1:15 - 1:30 of the video. It is phenomenal.
 
I showed my brother the double complete rainbow video this weekend. He had not seen it before. Perhaps the hardest we have both ever laughed in our entire lives.
 
Is it weird that there is like no one else that has the last name Shakespeare other than William Shakespeare? Pretty much every other last name, I can think of another famous person or someone I've met or known who had that same last name. But not Shakespeare. No one had a Justin Shakespeare in their 3rd grade class. Where did they all go?

Here's something:

 
The other day I saw a raccoon walking through a parking lot during the middle of the day. I thought that was weird. I was sort of half expecting it to attack, which led me to wonder what I would do if I was attacked by a raccoon in a parking lot during the middle of the day. Would I scream? Jump on top of a car (but what if it could climb the car?)? Try to jump IN a car before it got to me (total nightmare fuel -- who hasn't had the dream that you're being attacked by a ghost or wild animal or serial killer and hasn't been able to get the key to open the door)? Just run away in the opposite direction as fast as possible (I wonder how fast a raccoon can run)? What if you can't get away and you have to wrestle the raccoon? Grapple with it and try to snap its neck before it can bite you. That would be fucking heavy right there.

Fortunately the raccoon kept walking. I think it went into a dumpster.
 
Ladybugs are like the luckiest insects in the bug kingdom. You find a ladybug in your house and you very delicately guide it onto your pinky finger, then take it outside where you release it into freedom. In contrast, any other bug crawls by you in your house and you immediately smash it with a rolled up magazine or pick it up with a kleenex and flush it down the toilet. Why the discrimination?

 
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