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The Official "Ohhh Florida" Thread

Mystery solved.
http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/weir...al&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

1411494462000-breast-receipt.jpg

Only in Florida would someone even think to do that...
 
A big rig with a naked female passenger slammed into a school bus today...

An out-of-control log truck slammed into a stopped school bus dropping off elementary students in the rain Monday afternoon in Starke, injuring seven children and three adults, authorities said.

Bradford County Sheriff Gordon Smith described a chaotic scene with two children still trapped on the bus and an injured woman lying naked on the ground when he arrived about the same time as responding deputies.

Smith said the woman, who was a passenger in the log truck, appeared to have been ejected from the vehicle, but he wasn’t sure.

“I just remember grabbing something and throwing it over her,” he said. “... There were kids and parents.”
 
Lot lizard is a tremendous, underused slang term.
 
"Around one in the morning a gang related shooting popped off about an hour ahead of schedule. Luckily nobody was killed, but fifteen were injured including several minors and an eleven year old girl."

Only Florida could fuck up a pre-arranged gang related shooting and hit an 11 year old in a nightclub at 1 am.
 
"(CNN) -- After not being allowed to donate plasma, a woman in Florida responded by sending hospitals something else -- new patients.

According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, a woman who was angry that she could not donate plasma intentionally crashed her car into a local business.

CNN affiliate WTLV reports that the woman's red Honda Accord made it 40 feet into the building."
 
Jacksonville is making a strong run at most messed up part of Florida.
 
No question. But Jacksonville is coming on strong.
 
I mean a lawyer in NC just did this same thing but lit his trucks on fire first with propane tanks in the back.
 
A Florida woman is accused of cooking her neighbor after strangling and dismembering him in order to hide evidence, authorities said.

According to reports, Angela Stoldt tried to cremate her neighbor's body by putting several body parts in an oven and in pots on the stove. When that didn't work, she put his body parts in bags and threw them in the trash, authorities said.

The report stated that Stoldt's house "smelled of burning flesh." She told her daughter the smell was just a rat broiling in the oven

Because broiling a rat in your oven is a normal explanation for the scent of roasting fleshing. Keep winning, Florida.
 
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