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The Official "Ohhh Florida" Thread

siff said:
I'm on vacation in Watersound, FL this week. It's the first time I've spent any real time here outside of work. This is Alabama, people. It's not Florida. Carry on.
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I grew up in Pensacola and we have a house near you in Seaside. People used to not believe I was from the South b/c I'm from FL but when you grow up 20 minutes from the Alabama state line, you're in the South.
 
Can't have a FL thread without a Mons Venus story

A 28-year-old mother has been charged with leaving two children in a pickup while she visited Mons Venus in Tampa.

Brandi Jo Roman, 4544 W Lambright St., Tampa, is charged with two counts of child neglect.

Tampa police went to Mons Venus about 6: 40 p.m. Tuesday after being notified that two children were in a vehicle at the club, 2040 N. Dale Mabry Highway. Police found a 5-year-old boy and a crying 3-year-old girl alone inside a blue Ford F150 in the parking lot, police said.

Police removed the children and comforted them. They found a can of malt liquor in plain view in the truck, police said.

The officers found Roman inside the club sitting near a stage. Her speech was slurred and she showed other visible signs of intoxication, police said.

Roman told the officers she went inside the club to drink more alcohol and left her children watching a movie inside the vehicle, police said.

Joe Redner, owner of the Mons Venus, said Roman came to the door of the club, asked about the entrance fee and then returned to the truck to get some money. At the same time, a customer of the club went outside to smoke, saw Roman had children in her vehicle and told the manager.

The manager let Roman inside, and seeing she had been drinking, had her sit down. The manager also encouraged the customer who had spotted her children to notify a police officer on duty across the street.

The state Department of Children and Families took custody of both children.
 
Bubble Boy, just came to post that but I see you beat me to it. I will add Brandi Jo's mugshot:
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lol

my boy is friends with Joe Redner's daughter that runs the MONS, and she HOOKED us last time we went. It was MONTE.
 
A mother has gone on trial accused of raping her baby daughter from birth until she was 18 months old -and allowing her 62-year-old boyfriend to join in the assaults.

Melissa Bailey, 29, faces spending the rest of her life in prison if found guilty of sexual battery and other charges in Charlotte County Court, Florida this week.

The 29 year old is alleged to have raped her newborn daughter repeatedly at her home in Port Charlotte County until she was arrested in 2009.
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In a TV interview with NBC2 from inside the jail, Nelson admitted they had both fantasised and talked about having sex with a baby but denied harming the child.
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'They'd been having sex with this baby, both of them, since the child was born,' Bob Carpenter of the sheriff's office said at the time.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-baby-birth-18-months-old.html#ixzz23dNz9qvn

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2189781/Middle-aged-couple-arrested-performing-sex-act-public-pool.html

A frisky couple has been arrested after doing the dirty in a Florida public swimming pool.

Merrie Killian and Erich Wiedmann, both aged 49, shocked neighbours when they started getting frisky in the water at around 6pm on Tuesday.

Wiedmann was allegedly in the middle of performing a raunchy sex act on Killian when disgusted onlookers reported the lewd scene to the police.

Police arrived at the Green Valley Circle community pool in East Naples to find the pair in the pool, Wiedmann completely naked.

When questioned he claimed to be a nudist, enjoying an evening dip, while Killian said she was just swimming laps.

'This is why no one likes you guys,' she told the arresting officer, according to Naples News.
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You never fail me Florida:

Man Arrested For Calling 911 to Ask for Sex Three Years After Arrest for Calling 911 to Ask for Sex
Sexting, What the hell is wrong with people Stephen Douglas (CRM!) August 28th. 2012, 5:41pm

When you get lonely in Florida, all you have to do is pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1. That’s what Joshua Basso did last week when he called 911 seven times between August 22 and August 24 looking for sex. From the Florida New Times:

Each time he requested that a female deputy come to his home for some sexing.

Police eventually went to his home, not for sex, but to arrest him. Basso admitted to making the calls and was charged with seven counts of making false 911 calls.

In his defense, 911 is like any good booty call – they pick up the phone no matter time it is and always come over to take care of you. Amazingly, this was not the first time Basso was arrested for this. In 2009, he started calling 911 to solicit female operators when his cell phone ran out of minutes. As you can see from the mugshots, Basso was much less surprised by the results of his phone calls this time. Only Sean Kingston knows why Basso keeps calling 911.
 
Making my hometown proud:

Human remains found in a storage unit in Pensacola last week were being kept in covered plastic containers, trash bags and specimen cups, the director of the Medical Examiner’s Office said Tuesday.

The latest revelation came as authorities continued trying to unravel why Dr. Michael Berkland, a former associate medical examiner who is no longer licensed, stored the organs in the unit at Uncle Bob’s Storage, 195 E. Fairfield Dr.

Parts from more than 100 people — including lungs, hearts, tissue samples and 10 brains — were found on Friday in the air-conditioned unit that Berkland had rented, Medical Examiner’s Office Director Jeff Martin said.

“It’s very bizarre,” he said.

A heart was in a Dodge’s convenience store Styrofoam cup, Martin said. Formaldehyde, a chemical used to preserve and embalm bodies, was leaking from the 32-ounce cup with a cracked lid, he said.
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http://www.pnj.com/article/20120829...drink-cups?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE
 
http://www.ocala.com/article/20120917/ARTICLES/120919703/-1/news?p=2&tc=pg

Carlos R. Romero said he doesn't “feel comfortable around people” and has “never been a people person.”

His love for animals, mainly horses, was the cause of his arrest on Monday on a warrant for cruelty to animals. Sheriff's deputies say he was caught in a compromising position with a 21-month-old miniature donkey named Doodle.

"I want my donkey back. There's got to be due process here. I paid $500 for her," said Carlos R. Romero, sitting on a bench after his first appearance Tuesday morning in front of a judge.

In a jailhouse interview, Romero told a Star-Banner reporter that he masturbated while the donkey was inside his room and that it wasn't his first time doing that. He said he has had sex with horses since he was 18 and likes their “feminine shape, behavior and raw power.”
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...suspended-claims-taught-class-high-drugs.html

An elementary school teacher has been suspended after she was accused of trying to teach her class while high on drugs.

Elizabeth Edmonds was so high that other teachers noticed her erratic behaviour, it was claimed.

The 30 year old was removed from the class and ordered to undergo a drugs test which proved positive.

Officials in Lake County, Florida, said Edmonds tested positive for marijuana and opiates after leaving the Treadway Elementary in Leesburg.

Edmonds, a third-grade teacher, has been on paid suspension since the incident on September 12th with the suspension extended without pay
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Well, I mean, how else are you supposed to deal with 3rd graders?
 
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