• Welcome to OGBoards 10.0, keep in mind that we will be making LOTS of changes to smooth out the experience here and make it as close as possible functionally to the old software, but feel free to drop suggestions or requests in the Tech Support subforum!

Career mid life crisis

94Deac said:
I face this daily. I once posted on a scuba forum I frequent asking about people who hung up their professional, white-collar careers and started working full-time in their favorite past-time (in this case, obviously scuba given the audience). Some of the stories were fascinating.

But the main theme was that everyone waited until they were financially able to do so. I think the amount of time and work you invest in yourself to get a high-paying professional job reveals a mentality that you plan and work and don't take foolish chances. So I'd say most of us are working towards an end. Retirement and doing what you want do to, not what you "have" to do.
Click to expand...

Interesting to hear. From some of your posts it seems you are doing something in a somewhat related field to what I am interested in.

I am just beginning my career, a little over a year in the real world. I am going back to school to increase my skill set so I can further my career in the field I'm currently working in. Whether I find true happiness doing that work remains to be seen, but I am hopeful and optimistic that I end up finding it both rewarding and a way to provide for myself and my future family.
 
ABCDeac said:
On the other hand, if you spend your life looking over your shoulder wondering what "the boss" is going to think of your next move, and it is going to be miserable, no matter what the profession.
Click to expand...

Exactly..at least for me. My goal, from the time I graduated school, has always been to work for myself in the long-term. In 9-10 years of career, I've worked for everything from a small real estate firm (4 folks) to a start-up technology company (2-13 folks), to the largest bank in the world. And in between, I've made bids at starting my own companies twice. Neither really failed, but didn't turn into something that I was going to retire on either. Live and learn and try again.

I still keep some side business going when family/work schedules allow, and I'm currently working on a car wash business plan that I hope to be able to get going sometime in 2012. Working for myself is the goal rather than working in a certain field or achieving a certain promotion/status. There's room to apply innovation, use my skills, increase my education, and stay motivated no matter what I'm doing. I just want to be my own boss.
 
Last edited:
1) It's called "work" for a reason. If it was fun, it would be called something else.

2) You chose to have a family, so yeah, you're pretty much stuck with the responsibility to do something that you don't like in order to ensure their needs are met.
 
ddeacs98 said:
1) It's called "work" for a reason. If it was fun, it would be called something else.

2) You chose to have a family, so yeah, you're pretty much stuck with the responsibility to do something that you don't like in order to ensure their needs are met.
Click to expand...

You sound like a very happy person
 
Jeff Fatt said:
Last night while enjoying some wine, I was reflecting on my job satisfaction or lack thereof. Everyone says you should love what you do. I definitely do not love what I do. I don't even really like it. I make a decent living and provide for my family but I am spending so much of my life working doing something that is purely a means to an end. Sometimes I think I would be much happier living on an island working as a bartender or something along those lines, even though the financial "luxuries" I have now would no longer exist for me. I'm in my late 30s so probably too late to realistically change careers, and even if I could I don't know what I would change to. I guess the epiphany from 2 bottles of wine last night is that I really don't like to work. The prospect of spending the next 20-30 years at 50-60 hours a week doing something I really don't like just to make some money is pretty depressing. Mid life crisis perhaps but at the end of my life, is this really what I want to have spent the majority of my life doing?

So my questions for you are do people really truly love what they do? If not, what motivates you to continue spending the majority of your life doing something you don't particularly enjoy simply as a financial means to an end?
Click to expand...

DirtySouthDeacon said:
I have this exact inner monologue almost daily. My instinct is to just run, but I love my family, so I am stuck.
Click to expand...

this
 
ddeacs98 said:
1) It's called "work" for a reason. If it was fun, it would be called something else.

2) You chose to have a family, so yeah, you're pretty much stuck with the responsibility to do something that you don't like in order to ensure their needs are met.
Click to expand...

Was waiting for someone to say this. This thread is about people asking for other's experience in their careers or for people to offer their experience with changing fields.

Of course we know it's called "work" and many people don't enjoy their jobs. Thank you for this insight.
 
i wonder when, as a society, we started the whole 'personal fulfillment' thing re: jobs. for 99.9% of our existence our job was to provide for ourselves and our families.
 
im not sure thats true.

theres also a difference b/w farming for sustenance and working to have a vacation home, a big screen tv, and lexus.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
i wonder when, as a society, we started the whole 'personal fulfillment' thing re: jobs. for 99.9% of our existence our job was to provide for ourselves and our families.
Click to expand...

Good point. Then again, my goal in wanting to work for myself is exactly because I want to be able to provide for my family. My family is better off as a whole when I am more flexible in my ability to spend time with them. That's why I'm not so much worried about what I end up doing as long as I'm doing it for myself.
 
DirtySouthDeacon said:
I have this exact inner monologue almost daily. My instinct is to just run, but I love my family, so I am stuck.
Click to expand...

Same boat here. At least I know I'm not the only one. Plus I am in a family business which makes it that much more difficult.
 
I love what I do, like the people I work with, and like where I live, but could go to a less fun location and make more money and be more comfortable in my financial life. It's a hard choice for me because I feel like I'm trading a significant amount in salary for the location. There's hope for better income in the future, but it's hard to put it off when I could have it now. Ugh
 
DeaconPeach said:
I envy people who are doing something they love. I've enjoyed hearing the stories told this fall by some of my fellow tailgaters who are teaching. The joy & excitement on their faces as they talk about their students, preparing for their classes, ideas they have to stretch/add to the curriculum...I want to find that enthusiasm.
Click to expand...

I take it you haven't talked to TeacherFianceeDeac09 about her Zachary :laugh:
 
deacphan said:
im not sure thats true.

theres also a difference b/w farming for sustenance and working to have a vacation home, a big screen tv, and lexus.
Click to expand...

The farmers actually worked much longer hours than the hunter-gatherers. Hunter-gatherers work(ed) like 20 hour weeks. Of course, they didn't get ESPN.
 
TuffaloDeac10 said:
The farmers actually worked much longer hours than the hunter-gatherers. Hunter-gatherers work(ed) like 20 hour weeks. Of course, they didn't get ESPN.
Click to expand...

They traded comfort and predictability for more work/longer hours (same decisions we make now and mostly the same issues were discussing here).
 
I absolutely love what i do. I actually wish I didn't get paid for it (not that I get paid much anyway) - it would free me up to do some things a little differently and take some more risks, but I love it. Do I love every part of my job? not at all. Are there days it just wears me down? absolutely, but I couldn't envision myself doing anything else.

I think a lot of how much we enjoy our job comes down to how much we are free to do what we do well and like. Are there aspects of your job that you enjoy? Can you focus more on those aspects, or devote time to those strengths often to help keep you energized?
 
I can't say I love my job, but I like it a lot. At the same time, I make decent (not great) money, like the people I work with (for the most part) and can see how my work makes a difference for others.

Possibly most importantly, my boss and co-workers are fully invested in work/life balance, so as long as stuff gets done, the boss doesn't care if I leave at 3 p.m. once a week to take my son to the tutor, or leave early two others days of the week for other family things. Sometimes I don't like working at 9 p.m., but it is the price I pay for the flexibility during daylight hours, and I accept that.

I think it's such an individual decision as to whether you "love" it or just "like" it enough to make it reasonable and acceptable. What works for me isn't going to work for everyone, I know. Plus I've worked in a couple of shitholes, so obviously I appreciate what I've got now just that much more.

I could go work other places, but the devil you know always beats the devil you don't, IMO.
 
I’ve known plenty of people that have made changes late in life that paid off in the long run in a variety of ways. Country Singer Kris Kristofferson was a Rhodes Scholar, PHD in English, married with a kid before moving to Nashville to sweep floors at a record studio. Al Gore did divinity studies and two years of law school at Vanderbilt before leaving to pursue politics. Pres. George H.W. Bush was married with a kid (Pres. G.W. Bush) while he was captain of the baseball team at Yale as an undergrad.(A different time, I know, but still a unique story). Jimmy Buffett was a journalist for BillBoard magazine before pursuing music full time. Guns N Roses Bassist Duff McKagen attended college in his 30's, after GNR, to help him understand his finances.
These people are all famous, but I’ve known plenty in my personal life that have been through something similar. I personally know an accountant that became a baseball scout, an attorney that became a school teacher, and an accountant that became a clown for children’s birthday parties. I work in a plant, there is an engineer here that originally studied economics before going back for another undergrad degree in engineering in his 30's. I had a close family friend graduate from med school, married, with a kid at the age of 38.
Sure, these people’s stories are littered with all sorts of personal challenges, but all say they would never go back to the lives they led before. When you aren't engaged by what you do for a living, there is a tendency to compensate by making life comfortable with nice things. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s also important to consider that you may not feel like you need these things if you are engaged by what you do. You could effectively lead a more satisfying life on less money. I think warren Buffett said something like putting off what you want to do now in favor of later is like saving sex for old age.
Another point with regards to family challenges, some of the above instances did result in divorce. On the other hand, some didn't, and the marriages came out the other side stronger. Also, while most took a change in lifestyle to make change happen, with time, their lifestyle returned to its previous stature. (It didn't happen with all, but most)
My point is, you can have an engaging, fulfilling job without feeling like you are running from the responsibilities that come with a family. I have known plenty that have made sweeping changes in their professional lives and came out the other side in a much better place.
 
I've thought about this a lot too. I'm 29, single, and make a decent living in a big city working in consulting. While I don't love my job, I do it because I make a comfortable living out of it. I've been saving for retirement since Day 1, so I guess I am in it for the "means to an end." Some days, it's really hard for me to wake up and get myself motivated to go to the office. I do have a great boss and coworkers, though, which makes things a lot easier. In the end, I am thankful for what I do have and what I've accomplished. Most of us on these boards could have it A LOT worse.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top