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Chat Thread: Beefcakes of the Board calendar orders being taken here

they're going to go to an all-girls school while we're there. i hope the porn the girls dig up is more female-friendly, unless you're into that sort of thing
 
DeacsATS said:
How was the recovery from this?

I got all the way to scheduling this surgery a few years ago and then chickened out because I wasn't sure the juice was worth the squeeze (RIP OJ).
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Recovery was rough honestly. The only other surgery I’ve had as an adult was testicle removal (I lost a bet) and this was harder. The worst part was that my wife decided I should not have caffeine and this was the week I learned that I have a physical addiction to caffeine. Thought I was having a stroke or something on day two post surgery and then I made my self a coffee and was 1000x better within 15 minutes. The other tough part was the packing material stays in a week and it’s hard to breathe. I sat in a recliner for 7 days and binged Band of Brothers so recovery had its high point too.
 
I have to do some expensive stool test for extended GI issues that no one can properly diagnose. But I guess you can't just shit in the bowl because it will get diluted? So I have to shit in this literal paper hot dog tray that came with the kit??! Do I let said hot dog tray float like a shit-boat in the bowl or, like, put in on the floor and try to aim my asshole accordingly?!?
 
tigerswood said:
I have to do some expensive stool test for extended GI issues that no one can properly diagnose. But I guess you can't just shit in the bowl because it will get diluted? So I have to shit in this literal paper hot dog tray that came with the kit??! Do I let said hot dog tray float like a shit-boat in the bowl or, like, put in on the floor and try to aim my asshole accordingly?!?
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@Donkey Deac Doug
 
ImTheCaptain said:
me either !

his wife messaged our respective wife group about the boys in her class using their school ipads to find like, hardcore porn during school. she mentioned "bloody double penetration"

like what fuck, school?
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When my youngest was in 5th grade, one of her friends mom told us she caught some of her daughters friends watching porn the summer before and she confronted them. One kid that was confronted said their mom watches it all the time.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
my MIL alwayys loves to come up and "help" when i'm solo but i find it mildly offensive like i can't fucking handle it.

i've done 10x the solo work with my girls than my wife
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That attitudes a relic of boomerism for sure.
 
tigerswood said:
I have to do some expensive stool test for extended GI issues that no one can properly diagnose. But I guess you can't just shit in the bowl because it will get diluted? So I have to shit in this literal paper hot dog tray that came with the kit??! Do I let said hot dog tray float like a shit-boat in the bowl or, like, put in on the floor and try to aim my asshole accordingly?!?
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Weird - usually you get a plastic bowl that fits on the toilet seat. You sure you got the whole kit?
 
tigerswood said:
I have to do some expensive stool test for extended GI issues that no one can properly diagnose. But I guess you can't just shit in the bowl because it will get diluted? So I have to shit in this literal paper hot dog tray that came with the kit??! Do I let said hot dog tray float like a shit-boat in the bowl or, like, put in on the floor and try to aim my asshole accordingly?!?
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Turn off the water to the toilet, then flush the toilet a couple times so no water is in the bowl, then lay in the hot dog tray and shit in it, then remove the tray and turn the water back on.
 
What if the reason nobody can figure out what’s wrong with you is because you’re actually being scammed by sick fucks that want your poop. See what we are going to need you to do is shit in this hot dog tray, I mean medical fecal collection device.
 
i'm going down to visit a friend tomorrow; they recently moved into a new house a few weeks ago and he needs some help doing a couple DIY things

his wife was put on bed rest for her second pregnancy, they have a two year old son and his dog died on Tuesday

what can i get for his wife as a..uh...housewarming your dog died gift?
 
Louis Gossett Jr said:
What if the reason nobody can figure out what’s wrong with you is because you’re actually being scammed by sick fucks that want your poop. See what we are going to need you to do is shit in this hot dog tray, I mean medical fecal collection device.
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