• Welcome to OGBoards 10.0, keep in mind that we will be making LOTS of changes to smooth out the experience here and make it as close as possible functionally to the old software, but feel free to drop suggestions or requests in the Tech Support subforum!

THE BZDELIKING - A masterpiece of modern horror.

G

grendel

Active member
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
57
Reaction score
34
11hrtxz.jpg
 
INT. INDIANAPOLIS LUXURY HOTEL - NIGHT

MIKE BOBINSKI, Xavier AD and selection committee chair, stares out the window.

Barely visible through the driving snow outside—a massive topiary maze.

BOBINSKI
(to himself)
You know, we’re here totally cut off from everyone
in a snowstorm… reminds me of—

He turns to the eight other members of the selection committee sitting around the conference table.

BOBINSKI
Never mind. Great work so far.
Everyone have in their latest
round of voting?

There's a noise. Incessant. Someone TYPING --

WELLMAN.

Glazed look. Rocking back and forth, ever so slightly.

And somehow, a beard that must be weeks old.


BOBINSKI
Ron?

Nothing. Just more typing. Faster now.

SCOTT BARNES, AD at Utah State, is sitting next to Ron.

He leans over.


BARNES
Dear God.

On Wellman's laptop screen. Over and over. Seemingly forever--

All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy.
All #Buzzout and no wins makes Ron a dull boy...
 
And then, Wellman’s back.

Spooky.

He stands, pushes in his chair.

WELLMAN
I’ll leave the room now.

BOBINSKI
Sorry, Ron?

WELLMAN
Because I can’t be in the room while you’re discussing my team.

BOBINSKI
Discussing Wake Forest?

WELLMAN
For the tournament. Our seeding.

Barnes and JUDY MACLEOD, Conference USA, exchange looks. Uncomfortable.

BARNES
Um…

MACLEOD
Your team just lost 75-62. As the ten seed.

BARNES
After going 13-18. 4-12 against the top 100. 9-6 against those below 100. 2-12 road/neutral.

MACLEOD
With an RPI of 127. Just below Drake.

BARNES
And Canisius.

MACLEOD
(helpfully)
They’re the Golden Griffins!
 
WELLMAN
You have to dig deeper than the numbers.

BARNES
(sotto)
Isn’t that what he said when he hired that guy out of Colorado?

CLOSE on Wellman now. He leans forward. Intense.

WELLMAN
The RCI.

BARNES
The RCI?

WELLMAN
RCI. Real-time culture index. Incorporates the sock quotient--

Stops, nodding along to music only he can hear.

WELLMAN
This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite. Oh, heavens yes.

Bobinski looks under Wellman’s chair.

BOBINSKI
Is that an ax?

WELLMAN
Hereeeeeessss Ronnie!

SMASH TO BLACK

WELLMAN (VOICEOVER)
Redrum.
 
Thanks to iodeac for the "Here's Ronnie!" stinger!
 
Hopefully he'll be saying "Give me the bat Bzz,....I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to bash your fuck'n brains in."
 
"This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite..."

hehe, i obviously knew the next thing you would be saying. don't forget your raincoat.
 
surprised this didn't get bumped, so i'll bump it. i do think it's hilarious.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top