You know what pisses me off……………. People that use elevators. I’m not talking about people who go from floor one to floor ten, legit. I’m not evening talking about people who go from floor one to floor three, also maybe legit. Im talking about the people that go from fucking floor one to floor two. So there you are sitting waiting for an elevator and its taking slower than Jon Abbate’s forty times. What the fuck could possibly be taking so long? Obviously it’s the fucking fat asses that decided to use the elevator as their personal fork lift to lower there wide ass from floor two to one or eight to seven. After waiting for team Walrus to send the elevator down you now shuffle in, thankful that you have the entire thing to yourself. Oh wait here comes some fat ass that looks like a combination of Jabba the Hut in drag, John Kruk’s hair, and Hank the angry Dwarfs hygiene. So of course they end up shoving their arm into the entrance just as the elevator is about to close. Bam the doors hit their arm and fat ripples like the rhythmic tides of the ocean, its almost a hypnotic state of euphoria watching as the “I think Ill just have one more slice” and “Ill start my diet tomorrow” fat rolls back and forth. So there you are standing as this sea cow wedges themself through the door, wondering if you can’t fit through a standard doorway maybe you should have cut back on eating, ohhh say 5 years ago. Thankfully there are only two people on the elevator as you eye the occupancy 10 people or 1600 pounds, since Chief Fat Ass is pushing the 4 bills department. So somehow after its fit through the doors the Cheeto cheesy covered sausage like fingers go to push a button you pray please no, please no. BAM floor 2. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. All of this effort was for one Fucking floor. Why couldn’t they of taken the stairs? Seriously Why? Two flights of stairs, this fat ass acts like they would be climbing Everest. Better get a Sherpa, oxygen tanks, and a bunch of energy bars. I can only imagine the conversation that would unfold “Whew we better make base camp here and start those next four stairs tomorrow, it could be tricky. What did people do before elevators; I’m inclined to believe that all buildings were one story. God fucking fat people using elevators really pisses me off.