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Worst Place You’ve Pooped?

CantStandYa

CantStandYa

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Mine might have to be a tie between RFK Stadium in DC and Penn Station in Manhattan. Just awful experiences all around.
 
Nothing compares to the Puerto Rican airport during spring break. Stepping over dudes asleep on the bathroom floor, shit on the floor and toilet seat, and minimal TP. It was 20+ years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.
 
2&2 Slider To Leyritz said:
Nothing compares to the Puerto Rican airport during spring break. Stepping over dudes asleep on the bathroom floor, shit on the floor and toilet seat, and minimal TP. It was 20+ years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.
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A lot of public bathrooms in the Caribbean are like that. I remember one on St. Thomas that was exactly like you’re describing.
 
*outhouse that hadn’t been used in ages that had what seemed like 10,000 spiders in residence
 
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Some rancid port-a-potty at Alpine Valley 1988 when the GD had a 4 show run in 5 days back when you could camp in the lot.
 
Gas station outside of Burlington. I was coming back from the beach and dunno if it was the booze or bad fish but I was about to shit my pants. Pulled into the first gas station and the bathroom was occupied. As I’m pacing and becoming increasingly positive that I wouldn’t make it, a Hispanic guy emerges, lowers his head, and says “lo siento.”

I run in and hit a wall of stink that I’ve never smelled before. Like a dead body stuffed with sulphur had been left in a Red Lobster dumpster in July. The toilet was just clean enough for me to hover over and I made it all in the toilet. The vomit from the smell of the previous guy’s, not so much.
 
I sometimes lead the excursions for the undergrads on our excavations in Israel. A few summers ago we were in the middle of nowhere on a bus with no AC. I knew it was gonna be close if I could make it to the hostel, and finally I couldn't wait. I ran to the front of a bus, explained in mixed Arabic and Hebrew to the driver that we needed a bathroom. He stopped shortly on the side of the road at a one room cement building with no roof and told me that's the bathroom. Without another option I went and it was indeed one room, with no roof, and a toilet. So I shat on the side of the road in this "building" in a billion degrees with no TP. It was an unpleasant and somewhat humiliating experience after I waddled back onto the bus.
 
one of my good friends shat and threw up all over his room in South during summer school in 1992. The whole hall reeked for a week.

Another crapped his pants while driving a friends car and wrecked it.
 
Nothing as bad as these stories but worst experience that comes to mind is about 5 years ago was at the starting line of the DC Rock and Roll half marathon and the urge suddenly hit me pretty hard. Had about five minutes before I was going to run 13 miles so just used a porta john but it wasn't a clean break and was a complete mess in an already pretty gross toilet. Basically finished up with seconds to spare and then immediately started running for two hours.
 
Was trekking in Nepal staying in a tea house right before heading for the summit the next morning. Toilet was a hole in the ground in an outhouse with a bucket of water to dilute your dook. Had explosive rhea from too much rice and lentils. The floor was covered in a sheet of ice because we are in the Himalayas. While squatting and reaching for the bucket I slipped and my entire arm got covered in my own excrement. Fun times. Made it to 17,000 feet about 4 hours later though.

Earlier in the same trek I had more explosive rhea and couldnt make it to the communal toilet from my second floor room. Had to spray my foul juices off a balcony and it ran down the building.

Annapurna was such a magical experience.
 
St Petersburg, Russia where you had to pay the babushka to enter and get toilet paper, then have her sit 5 feet away while unleashing the fury that had built up from a week of travel.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
*outhouse that hadn’t been used in ages that had what seemed like 10,000 spiders in residence
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This is similar to mine also, was at some campground. Is Raven Knob nasty? That's the only place coming to mind where it might have been.
 
this was at an old family cabin in northern PA. i was a kid at the time so every spider was like shelob to me, of course
 
dot com said:
This is similar to mine also, was at some campground. Is Raven Knob nasty? That's the only place coming to mind where it might have been.
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The latrines at Raven Knob are my third place finisher. Metal seat above a hole in the ground, and you can hear the yellow jackets buzzing a couple feet beneath your junk as you do your business.

Second place, an ancient outhouse at a primitive camp site in Morrow Mountain state park this winter. Went on a trip with my kid's boy scout troop. It was nasty, but at least it was 22 degrees so all the bugs were dead.

First place, 30 years ago at a boy scout Klondike Derby in the mountains. They dug a trench with a backhoe and erected a wood frame seat above it surrounded by semi-opaque plastic. It was about 25 degrees and the wind whistling under that seat was an experience I'll never forget.
 
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