tigerswood
Well-known member
tigerswood, thank you for the rep (seriously - he wrote me a nice message).
however, i'm posting a response out here because I think others need to hear this too: please understand that my experiences as I've posted them on here are not the only ones I've dealt with, and they are very typical to any woman out there. You don't hear about them in the full volume that they take place because of the reaction they cause. We get told we are overreacting, that we probably did something to make that person think it was ok, that we could 'really screw things up for that person if this gets out', that we are tarnishing reputations... so, yeah. If we all agree it's reprehensible behavior, then boom. That's it. End of thread.
There is no follow-on comment of, "but he's a good guy!" ...everyone loved Cosby until he was exposed, too. Sometimes 'good' guys do shitty things; their 'goodness' doesn't provide any type of protection if it comes out that they've engaged in this behavior. No excuses. The only thing you say should be, "wow. not cool. he shouldn't have done that." The end.
There is no follow-on comment of, "well, she could be after something." Deal with that later, if it comes out that that's the case. How come a guy can be proven guilty and still held harmless on account of his past actions or standing, but a woman who comes out and speaks about a negative experience is suddenly presumed guilty of something else that is totally irrelevant to the fact she was touched/groped/worse, without her permission or against her will?
Very fair. I do think victim shaming is a problem as a whole, and can see how my language has come across that way.
I guess my main point is that I feel like we should be focusing the majority of our outrage, efforts, media coverage, etc. on true predators and criminals, rather than these particular GHWB incidents. Different than how you feel, I do think that there are limited amounts of those things that could be better utilized. Maybe this story is making bigger local news in Charlotte than a man who was caught roofying (?) women at local popular bars. Who knows - just a made up example.
I also do think I'm probably jaded for my appreciation and like for GHWB, which shouldn't really come into play.