1. I, the Lord, am your God. You shall not have other gods besides me and trump.
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain. (Psst it's money. Your god is money.)
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord's day for about an hour in church.
4. Honor your father and your mother unless they are libs. Then own them.
5. You shall not kill unless you are standing your ground and protecting your property. Or a cop... Thou art my judge, jury, and executioner and shall not be punished.
6. You shall not commit adultery unless she's really young, hot, or a boy (but that's for science only and though must loudly remind everyone being gay is wrong).
7. You shall not steal unless it's a vote or indirectly by not paying a fair wage. I love money lenders.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor unless you feel strongly that he's trans, a groomer, teaching crt, or you are projecting.
9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife while you are in church for that one hour a week. Unless you are banging her in the coat closet.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods but if you do, remember, they can stand their ground a kill you so maybe avoid this one.