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Halloween 2012 documentation thread

Justicebork

Justicebork

The King in the North
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#1. 6:45 PM. Single child dressed as Phillip Fucking Rivers (Chargers gear). I went to the "fun size" bowl intended for moderately douchey costumes and gave him 3 snickers.
 
#2. 6:49 PM - group of 3 with 2 parents. My Little Pony, some character from a video game that looked like a chafing dildo, and The Wind (pretty creative costume). I awarded each of them 4 fun size candy bars - although the wind would have been upgraded if he had been alone.

The parents were pretty chatty from the sidewalk.
 
lol. this thread rules. keep it up bork
 
No one has rang our doorbell, which is good because all I have is beer.
 
7:02 - Surprise appearance from mother-in-law who wants to roll out with my wife and healthy kids. I send her the long way around the block and help myself to a Kit Kat. Starting to wonder where all the people are
 
7:12 PM - Single child, 2 parents - mother was very pregnant. Both parents came all the way up on to the porch to chat, which is slightly unusual. I enjoyed my 30 seconds with them.

Girl was dressed as an astronaut but I think she was only in it for the candy, as Dad was holding her helmet.

I awarded her 2 fun size bars plus one bonus treat for her unborn sibling.
 
Justicebork said:
7:12 PM - Single child, 2 parents - mother was very pregnant. Both parents came all the way up on to the porch to chat, which is slightly unusual. I enjoyed my 30 seconds with them.

Girl was dressed as an astronaut but I think she was only in it for the candy, as Dad was holding her helmet.

I awarded her 2 fun size bars plus one bonus treat for her unborn sibling.
Click to expand...

Astronaut or Felix Baumgartner?
 
Our first group had 2 kids that basically yelled "Gimme candy" #KidsTheseDays

We also had some kid dressed as a cross between a scarecrow and Scream. Pretty badass actually.

Our black cat ran outside and proceeded to be a drama queen in front of everybody. The kids enjoyed petting her though
 
7:18 PM - FINALLY the jumbo bag is opened. The worthy child wore a full ninja garb including accessories. His power ranger friend reaped the benefits of this creativity. Single parent escort for these 2 kids.
 
7:20 PM - BLITZKRIEG! 5 kids with 2 parents who waited on the sidewalk. I went to back to the douchey bowl. 2 boys in army camoflauge (2 bars each), one boy in a Julius Peppers Panthers jersey (2 sympathy bars), a taller kid in black tie (4 BARS), annnnnnd, child #1 PHILLIP FUCKING RIVERS was back for his second visit.

I gave him 2 more pieces of candy. Starting to loosen up here!
 
7:24 PM - Wife, in-laws, nephews children all return. Middle child dumps his candy into the douchey bowl intended to recognize laziness. Suddenly I realize that our candy sucks compared to our neighbors. Starting to sweat!
 
7:30 - Very small child in a spiderman customer who is obviously out too late. Carried to the door by his father. Father avoided eye contact. I awarded him one discarded syringe.

As they left, another, less convincing ninja came. The contrast between he and spiderman was clear, though, and he got a jumbo bar!
 
7:38 - MINORITY ALERT!! 3 children with 2 parents?

drudge-siren.gif
 
I like this.

7:45 A Luigi and his big sister dressed in warm clothes with 7 glow sticks around their necks. Big sis took 2 candy pieces. Luigi took 8. Big sis says "don't take that much." Luigi says, "It's ok!"
 
Had two tiny kids show up, they were pretty cute but one of them objected to me calling them "Squirt". #FeelingsCaught
 
So we have a stripper pole in my living room (4real, ask df2009 if you don't believe me). So we open the front door and all the little kids have no idea, but their parents are clearly terrified. So this one kid asks us "Do you have a firemans pole in your house?!?!" And we were like...uhh yeah...let's call it that.
 
THESE KIDS KEEP TAKING THE GOBSTOPPERS!!! THAT'S FILLER CANDY, KID! GET UP ON THESE BUTTERFINGERS AND SNICKERS!

And the parents keep taking my shitty beer. FOOLS!
 
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