I Think I met Say Hey Deac at the Game

[Say Hey Deac]

Stratt! Yes! This is my first call-out thread, so I'm sort of excited by it. The main thing I want to say is, dude, Stratt, you have me pegged wrong, amigo. I'm your biggest fan! Everyday I check out this board hoping to see that you've posted some kind of amazing proposal. The pencils. The bumper stickers being sold to college boys. The billboard. The aerial banner. I LOVE that shit, dude. You have brought an absurd amount of entertainment to my life, far more than I've provided you. My only wish is that you'd take this shit to the next level and really get weird. Nudity. Property damage. Fires. Acts of nonviolent civil disobedience. Acts of...violent civil disobedience <inserted raised eyebrow>. I swear, bro, my dream is that you run on the field next home game and chain yourself to a goalpost. SWALLOW THE KEY. Let Ronald know that you mean business. I hope you are successful. I truly do. I am not a Buzz fan. Not a Buzz fan. We are simpatico in that respect. I think we're actually simpatico in a lot of ways, Stratt. This aggression cannot stand. Is it BallStateDeac who turned you against me? It is probably BallStateDeac. All this time he has presented himself as a mere middleman. A conduit for RedSoxFaithful's fierce diatribes. His attacks. But, now I see, he is no neutral party. He is anti-me. He is anti-you. He is the enemy. Let us announce now, before this board, before God, we will NO LONGER ABIDE by BallStateDeac's attacks. He violates the Terms of Service with his PMs. He is underhanded. He is mean. BallStateDeac, we are coming for you. Me and Stratt. You may send PMs in the guise of being fair and impartial. You may not own 2 race-worn NASCAR jumpsuits. But we do. Or, in the case of the jumpsuits, we will soon once adequate funds are collected and jumpsuits procured. And when they are, BallStateDeac, oh when they are...you will pay. Maybe not today. Probably tomorrow. But you and Buzz and Wellman and all you sons of bitches on this board who don't give Stratt the respect he deserves and the respect he DEMANDS will pay. With your asses. BOOK IT. BOOK IT IN YOUR BOOK WITH A PERMANENT PEN. Godspeed, Stratt. We are in this journey together, you and I. Also, it was not me at the game. I watched some of it from my couch with my new chromecast, then walked my dogs, then watched The Bridge on my DVR with my wife. It was an interesting episode. You should check it out if you haven't already.

 

[IrishSlim]

Say Hey is no Moonz in terms of e-comedy, but the no-paragraph-break there is a nice touch.