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Pit Secret Santa 2012 (gifts and such)

ITK said:
Secret Santa, I'm sorry, where I live, they won't tell us the security gate code. Alternately, you can tell the delivery company that the gate is actually only closed about 4 hours a day, so if they just come back later, it may be open.
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I need some help from you all since this is my first time. Is the tradition to actually try and find a legitimately good gift for <25 bucks, or is more of a gag-gift situation?
 
myDeaconmyhand said:
I need some help from you all since this is my first time. Is the tradition to actually try and find a legitimately good gift for <25 bucks, or is more of a gag-gift situation?
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Depends on the person. If you know them, and know that they would appreciate a gag gift (me, hello, and Say Hey for sure - probably AWAR whose gift will inevitably involve a penis in someway) got that route because it's more entertaining for all of us. Otherwise, get a good gift.
 
yeah, i'm going for legit good gift. i think most people do.
 
This shouldn't be tough then, everyone loved season 5 of the Office right?
 
November 28, 2012. Santa assignments go out. I receive mine and leisurely begin to think of what to get. I get distracted by dick pics, Pinterest, baby blogs, potentially having to do work.

November 29, 2012. People have begun to post about already buying gifts. Some gifts are on their way. I feel bad for my Santee because the speed of the other Santas is making me look like numbers. Oh well, there are lots more baby blogs to read.

November 30, 2012. 2:14pm. HTTD gchats me that he's gotten an email about 2 packages being in.

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99% of me hopes it is my SS gift. 1% is a little sad that it might be my SS gift because I was excited to have something to look forward to for a few days. Mainly because my MIL already brought down a gift for me and it is almost as tall as I am and is staring at me in our living room just begging to be opened. Also, what if Nonny is my Santa and the gift sucks? (Spoiler alert: it doesn't suck. Must not have been from Nonny)

2:34pm. HTTD gets another email about a package!

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**Side note. As I was writing this post I searched "mrs awar" to find the gchat and gmail did this:

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**

He goes to pick our packages up because he is a good husband.

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It is my gift! All sadness about not waiting longer is gone. Now I just want that gift. I immediately have a guess about who it is from based on the addressmanship.

5:00pm. I am out of work like a bat out of hell. I battle the roadways to get home. I get through the billion doors to our apartment and find this waiting for me:

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First thought: DID SANTA GET ME A BABY?!?
Second thought: No holes in the box. A dead baby? =(

Then I remembered that HTTD told me the Kuerig came in. So the big box is that POS. (Speaking of - I'm selling this thing for $75 if anyone wants it.)

Up first I grab the padded envelope.

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I have a quick, sinking feeling that maybe my Santa got me the most perfect gift in the world:
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It is so perfect that I already own it, because HTTD knows how to woo a lady and gave it to me for Valentine's day. How will I break it to my Santa that I already own this piece of heaven? Maybe my Santee will like it and I can play it off as a coincidence that I sent the same gift?

Thankfully, it isn't that, but it is something JUST AS AWESOME.

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A PENIS NAMING BOOK!!! THOSE EXIST??! My life has been bereft without. Everyone with a dingdog should beware that I will now be bestowing names. Craiglist will have a whole new meaning. A nod to both of my main interests - penises and babies - in one swoops sounds really disturbing and frankly probably illegal but this is perfect.

Now on to the next box.

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I don't know what to expect. The first gift was funny but not in a creepy or "lol now what the hell do I do with this thing" way - will the second be the same? Will it be serious? What if it is a penis? I try to remember if Manifest is participating in Secret Santa this year. I sniff it. Doesn't smell like a penis. Shake it and something rattles. I consider googling to see if is it possible to mail a hard ween but think I better not based on my last few google searches. I open it and...in this box is a smaller box.

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I open THAT box slowly and what to my wondering eyes should appear?? THIS GUY!

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A phallic wine stopper!! Now while get my drank on I can plug up the hole with this little guy. And let's be honest, I drink a lot of wine. This guys is going to have his turkey baster in soo many bottle mouths. My little red gigolo.


Merry Christmas, indeed.





PS. I have named him Tomahawk.
 
LOL great work

the bar has been set high for the reveals
 
Glad you like them. I was all :eek:hnoes: :willynilly: when you hadn't posted anything by 7:00.

Little did I know that you were crafting epic poetry. I am in tears laughing at your saga.
 
I knew it was you! Did you write that anywhere? Thank you!! Using Tomahawk already =)
 
awakeandready said:
I knew it was you! Did you write that anywhere? Thank you!! Using Tomahawk already =)
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Mr. Awar Httd, Esq. figured it out hours ago.

Glad he works out. I'm excited to hear your expanding vocabulary emerge in future Dickle discussions.

My shopping experience began with typing "penis game" into Amazon within 60 seconds of getting your name in the PM. I think in 2 gifts, I satisfied just about every request you made with the exception of chocolate.
 
I found the book by originally trying to find an instructional book for taking artful dpics. That emerged, and I thought "perfect".
 
LOL can't wait to see what Amazon starts suggesting for you. Or what the "people who bought this also bought ____" was
 
awakeandready said:
LOL can't wait to see what Amazon starts suggesting for you. Or what the "people who bought this also bought ____" was
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Pretty stoked about it. My initial concern/remorse was "I just sent dick stuff to another man's wife".
 
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