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Me Too [Cuomo joins hall of shame]

myDeaconmyhand said:
I don't know what article you all are reading, but there were at least 3 times where she verbally said "no", and that's not including her trying to move away from him. Just being in someones apartment is not consent to having intercourse with them.


1.  But he kept asking, so I said, ‘Next time.’ And he goes, ‘Oh, you mean second date?’ and I go, ‘Oh, yeah, sure,’ and he goes, ‘Well, if I poured you another glass of wine now, would it count as our second date?’”

2. Then she went back to Ansari. He asked her if she was okay. “I said I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you, and I’d rather not hate you,” she said.

3. “After he bent me over is when I stood up and said no, I don’t think I’m ready to do this, I really don’t think I’m going to do this. And he said, ‘How about we just chill, but this time with our clothes on?’”


I'm really curious as to how you read that story and think there's nothing wrong there. Is oral sex consent for intercourse, deapite Grace saying "no" to intercourse multiple times?
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I feel like there must be something wrong with my opinion because I agree with MDMH, she asked him to stop multiple times and he kept pursuing until she thought hey if I blow him he will stop trying to fuck me and I probably wont get raped. I know we all like the Aziz because he is funny, and seems nice and genuine but damn that story sounds bad.
 
Side note you can tell Grace is a cunt though in general by the whole, I like red wine but he forced white wine on me comment.
 
I think one of the big problems here is that men and women are conditioned to respond to different registers when it comes to sex: women to the soft- or implied-no and men to the explicit no. As creepy as that whole story reads, I don't think it is at all unusual. While there is a huge gap between this Aziz situation and, say, Weinstein, they are both symptoms of the same modern, male-centered culture of sex and consent.

Also, just saw an article about a new consent app for your phone, which will apparently allow both partners to sign a legally-binding contract before engaging in any sexual activity. I had been thinking about something like that for years, but always dismissed it as too ridiculous. This is 2018, guys.
 
wakephan09 said:
I think one of the big problems here is that men and women are conditioned to respond to different registers when it comes to sex: women to the soft- or implied-no and men to the explicit no. As creepy as that whole story reads, I don't think it is at all unusual. While there is a huge gap between this Aziz situation and, say, Weinstein, they are both symptoms of the same modern, male-centered culture of sex and consent.

Also, just saw an article about a new consent app for your phone, which will apparently allow both partners to sign a legally-binding contract before engaging in any sexual activity. I had been thinking about something like that for years, but always dismissed it as too ridiculous. This is 2018, guys.
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It's not really ridiculous considering people meet sexual partners on apps. May as well seal the deal on an app too.
 
wakephan09 said:
I think one of the big problems here is that men and women are conditioned to respond to different registers when it comes to sex: women to the soft- or implied-no and men to the explicit no. As creepy as that whole story reads, I don't think it is at all unusual. While there is a huge gap between this Aziz situation and, say, Weinstein, they are both symptoms of the same modern, male-centered culture of sex and consent.

Also, just saw an article about a new consent app for your phone, which will apparently allow both partners to sign a legally-binding contract before engaging in any sexual activity. I had been thinking about something like that for years, but always dismissed it as too ridiculous. This is 2018, guys.
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now all we need to do is add a little test for disease and it's virtually perfect
 
can't wait for the lootbox upgrades: for $4.99 you can get a chance at a premium tier contract upgrades like "no butt stuff" clauses, revenge porn protection, and post-coital cuddles
 
PhDeac said:
It's not really ridiculous considering people meet sexual partners on apps. May as well seal the deal on an app too.
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I've thought this might be coming down the pike for awhile, but one potential issue is that you've got to wonder how long it will be before someone claims that they were pressured or coerced into signing the consent app, so it shouldn't have any legitimacy. And, of course, that simply leads back to the issue of who was telling the truth. I don't think this bit of technology alone is going to solve the problem, although it was probably inevitable.
 
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PhDeac said:
It's not really ridiculous considering people meet sexual partners on apps. May as well seal the deal on an app too.
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Good point. Still seems a bit cynical to me, but our culture of frustration, ambiguity, and regret might necessitate something like this.

sailordeac said:
now all we need to do is add a little test for disease and it's virtually perfect
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The screenshot in the article I saw had a clause you could check off that said "disease-free" or something. It suggested that lying on this electronic form could constitute a legal violation.

Highland Deac said:
I've thought this might be coming down the pike for awhile, but one potential issue is that you've got to wonder how long it will be before someone claims that they were pressured or coerced into signing the consent app, so it shouldn't have any legitimacy. And, of course, that simply leads back to the issue of who was telling the truth. I don't think this bit of technology alone is going to solve the problem, although it was probably inevitable.
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The article also implied that you could somehow revoke consent mid-encounter. But agreed, while it does require that there be a conversation about consent before a sexual encounter, such an app would do little to address the problems of (visible and invisible) coercion or pressure.
 
How about if it was connected to a Fit Bit?
 
PhDeac said:
How about if it was connected to a Fit Bit?
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I don’t know much about how they work but I imagine user could establish a baseline consensual sex heart rate and consent that took place outside that range would raise a red flag.
 
PhDeac said:
I don’t know much about how they work but I imagine user could establish a baseline consensual sex heart rate and consent that took place outside that range would raise a red flag.
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Neither of us are that kind of doctor, but I have a feeling consensual sex might also raise someone's heartrate pretty significantly. Not sure heart rate is going to be a good measure of consent.
 
wakephan09 said:
Neither of us are that kind of doctor, but I have a feeling consensual sex might also raise someone's heartrate pretty significantly. Not sure heart rate is going to be a good measure of consent.
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Well that's why I said the user could establish a baseline consensual sex heart rate.
 
PhDeac said:
Well that's why I said the user could establish a baseline consensual sex heart rate.
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And I'm saying I'm not sure that heartrate can be a measurable indicator of consent.

Any physiologists round here?
 
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