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Totally Unofficial 2023/24 Premier League Thread

that was a nice finish by Darwin. It helped him that he wasn't running at full pelt so he could actually compose himself, but still, a very excellent finish from about 20 yards. Tip of the cap.


Meanwhile, 10 minutes in and United yet again look fine early on between the 18s but are a jigsaw puzzle because they go to pieces in the box
 
How is not knowing how they'll fuck up next 'uninteresting'? DRAMA every single time they take the pitch guaranteed.
 
Onana is just so suspect on those high inswinging free kicks into his area

annnndddd another one had him rooted to his spot. Give the Turk a try. Onana's confidence is clearly shot. Sit him.
 
My daughter (5) just came into the room and said, "daddy, what's wrong?"

"United aren't playing well."

"come on, United!," she said.

"come on, United!," I replied.

"daddy, who is the blue team?"

"Aston Villa."

(30 seconds later)
"I like Aston Villa now because they are winning. COME ON ASTON VILLA!"

My soul. It is crushed! haha
 
I think I'll take a sledgehammer to her precious Barbie Dream House that she got yesterday and leave a Man United scarf on it.

Lessons must be learnt in this house.
 
Did the color commentator not see Rashford's right foot (planted foot) on that shot? He was trying to go across the keeper...he just horribly mishit the ball off the outside of his left boot. Just a really bad finish, but his idea was correct. But WOW did his technique let him down
 
Yep. I'm a glory hunter.

Chose Man United and the Seattle Mariners for the exact same reason (a video game) less than a year apart and haven't diverged from either since. Much success to me on both sides of that equation.
 
HOW CAN GARNACHO NOT TIME HIS RUN BETTER

looked offside to me. come on random lines....
 
Garnacho is looking across with nobody blocking his view

Inexcusable to be offside there. ZERO REASON. Just stupid.
 
Garnacho is such a fun kid to watch as much as I hate to admit. I’d like to see United move him into a position more like Grealish where he gets isolated with a single back. I get he’s unquestionably good in the midfield generally, but United need his creativity on the flanks while Rashford finds his form again to open up other parts of the field. Unfortunate offsides there because it was a hell of a break.
 
Hojlund is officially a DONKEY, btw

works his socks off but doesn't really produce anything special. straight Donkey player right now.

Think there might be a good player in him, but right now he is just so raw and unrefined that he just isn't someone a top side should have leading their line. 70+ mil for him is just another example of the old United regime just throwing away money.
 
LOL. What’s Martinez supposed to do? That’s fine. Move along.

Edit: This is in response to the commentators thinking it was definitely a booking.
 
BRUNO with a captain's work on that one to win the ball and forcing the turnover, then fed Rashy thru. Square ball and Garnacho held his run that time.

2-1

Boys actually look to care here so I'm stupidly optimistic. Looking forward to getting let down again! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
 
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