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Best Dump you've ever had

Willis

Willis

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I was backed up for 3 days until I had some chili cheese fries from Cook-Out. Straight up chocolate soft served for a solid 5 minutes. Damn near filled 'er up. Time for a nap. I'm exhausted.
 
Had my gall bladder taken out a few years ago. Every few months I'll get a nuclear meltdown in my abdomen, and getting rid of that pressure is so blissful.
 
RevDeac06 said:
Had my gall bladder taken out a few years ago. Every few months I'll get a nuclear meltdown in my abdomen, and getting rid of that pressure is so blissful.
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Is it like seeing God, cause i suspect that would be pretty cool for you?
 
Marquee Moon said:
Is it like seeing God, cause i suspect that would be pretty cool for you?
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Yes, would be pretty cool. No, probably not quite that good. They say that if you see God face to face, you die. And this is nothing like death (as far as I know, I've never died).
 
I had a really large, compacted one about a month ago and was pretty relieved that I passed it without injuring myself. Wanted to lean over and get a look at the mutha but when I did the toilet automatically flushed and it was lost to me forever. Can't describe the disappointment.
 
i sent buckets a text message from the ATL airport about the best dump I have ever taken. It was HUGE. It was like 6 dumps worth of dump. I felt so good on the flight to PR.
 
The one and only time I've ever eaten at the Cheesecake Factory, I was out of the restaurant for maybe 10 minutes when I felt an ungodly pressure in my bowels. I barely made it home, but eventually had the most gloriously satisfying turd dance of my life.
 
Girl told me "I know how I feel about you, and men in general, now I need to find out how I feel about women"

My buddy and I put that quote on a banner and hung that banner in our apartment.
 
PhillyDeac said:
Girl told me "I know how I feel about you, and men in general, now I need to find out how I feel about women"

My buddy and I put that quote on a banner and hung that banner in our apartment.
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wrongthreaddeac?



nevermind hungover mind=slow mind
 
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PhillyDeac said:
Girl told me "I know how I feel about you, and men in general, now I need to find out how I feel about women"

My buddy and I put that quote on a banner and hung that banner in our apartment.
Click to expand...

i see what you did there. i lold, good one
 
Put yourself on a bowl of Fiber One every morning and get out of the way. I had to buy one of those "high flush" toilets in the master bathroom just to handle the bombs. Nasty.
 
Not sure about the best event but I have really enjoyed the euphemism "taking my talents to south beach"
 
About 10 years ago we were in St Petersburg, Russia and I felt like crap all morning. We got to the Peterhof Palace, a big tourist mecca, and the shooting pains of a bunker buster started rumbling in my gut. I went to the bathroom, which turns out had a old babushka woman sitting in a ticket booth in front of it - you had to pay to use the bathroom. Had to go back to my tour guide to get money, paid the woman in the booth, was handed a few squares of communist toilet paper, and immediately proceeded to evacuate about 5 lbs from my bowels. Best. Dump. Ever.
 
Austin airport last Monday on the 4th. It was right after I had walked through security and when I was finished I just wanted to take a nap. There in the stall. I lose like 5 lbs.
 
The Atlanta Olympics. Multiple days are walking around drinking and eating crappy food left this ungodly combination in my bowels. The fart I let out before that in the team handball arena was the most overpowering rancid odor in the history of mankind.
 
this thread on the suque a few years back was far and above the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. "Epic Dump Stories".
 
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