right, I just mean you can be a "millionaire" and not appear to be wealthy.
Bingo! People hear "millionaire" and automatically think "rich person". This is not true at all - especially these days as the cost of living keeps going up.
As for definitions - it is pretty simple, a millionaire is someone with a present net worth of >$1M. The basic point of Ramsey's study, as I understand it, was that millionaires are all around us and that most of them are not created in the ways that many people assume - by inheritance, by growing up wealthy, by having things handed to them. They are created through hard work, conservative living, consistent saving, etc. Simple stuff. Not sexy at all.
An interesting point that Turds pointed out was that many of them are not even people that had large salaries. In other words, it is not about how much you make, it is about how much you save. There are a lot of professionals out there making $300k or more a year but living a lavish, leveraged lifestyle - they may look and act like millionaires but aren't. Meanwhile, their neighbors may have a household income far less but have been living below their means for 25 years, paid off their house, saved up a ton of money, etc. You would never know they were millionaires.
I can't speak to the accuracy or completeness of his survey, and the results certainly support his cause (selling books and classes), but, whatever the exact numbers or percentages are, I think his basic message is correct.