denverpacker
Active member
I have run into a ton of ex-pats in my travels and I have never had one complain about their circumstance, but that just may have been them keeping quiet about it. The vast majority love their situation.
Also, living abroad is very different from studying abroad. Worrying about things like opening a bank account, paying taxes, voting, taking care of health care and insurance -- these things really provide a very different perspective from spending a couple of months living with other Americans or a host family.
I can't imagine doing these things in a country where I did not speak the predominate language.
I was fortunate (IMO) to grow up an Army brat, living in 9 states and 2 countries and having spent significant time abroad in a couple other countries. Those experiences opened my eyes to various cultures and broadened my horizons during a formative time. However, I also appreciate stability and being close to my social networks. That involves placing roots on the East Coast, not abroad.
Here comes an unclear/hippy-dippy thought, evidence of the inflated self-importance most college students acquire while studying abroad. I was only abroad for six months, but living with a Chilean family for that time, I felt (or convinced myself that I felt) the difference between the centuries of of American and pre-American history that were buried in my subconscious and the centuries of Chilean and pre-Chilean history buried in their subconscious. I'm sure this was helped by the fact that I was majoring in history and my host-brother was also majoring in history at a Chilean university. But it wasn't just him, and it wasn't any kind of readily describable difference. It just felt like the subconscious motivations and truths that underlay Chileans' daily routines were very different from mine because they were made in a completely different context. I realized that no matter how much I learned about Chilean history and culture, I could never insert myself in that context, which was kind of depressing, as my goal had always been to experience, as much as possible, life as a Chilean. Point is, it made me realize that living abroad would always, forever, no matter what I did, make me a cultural outsider. Even if I preferred some aspects of a foreign culture over my own (as I did), and got accustomed to them (as I did), I would always be an outsider. Since then I've had no desire to live abroad for more than a year, as learning a language and culture can only take me so far.
the insurance thing is a huge benefit. i signed up when i started work, and every time i've needed an appointment i can get it within a day or 2, pay €10 and never have to call and bicker about what's covered, bills i'm getting, etc. i love it so much. i almost want to hurt myself just to marvel at the system again.
The island of Capri off the Amalfi Coast of Italy BADLY needs an English style pub for the men to kill time while their ladies spend money. Who's with me?
Just say when. My wife would do this in a heartbeat.
Can we hang a State banner?
Not for ever, but for any time three years and under, for sure. My old man was just offered 18 months in Florence. He is somehow considering not going (really my mom is hesitant).
What countries are in the mix? Is she military or federal employee, e.g. someone who would be exempt from local taxes and stuff like that?
This is something that the Future Mrs. Clutch and I are looking at, due to the nature of her work. Unfortunately, we would not be going to an England or Australia, our options are a little less conventional. We would be doing two year stints. My main concern is finding work, second concern is livability of the city and the potential to raise a family. While the idea of being a house husband and exploring the world sounds nice, I don't think I could put the full financial burden on her, those Wake loans don't pay themselves. I'd be curious to hear from anyone who has spent multiple years living abroad, especially those who followed a spouse.
I quit my finance job in 2010 and moved abroad (Russia, and now Austria the past 7 years) when my wife had a very good opportunity.
From what I've seen and experienced, being the trailing spouse is very hard. You likely will struggle to find a job unless you speak the local language fluently, and unlike your spouse who will have the support system of a familiar work environment, etc - you will pretty much be on your own. This goes for both men and women, and a struggling and unhappy spouse is the easily the leading cause I've seen of people failing to settle in. Most of the time these are great opportunities for one spouse and career stalling / killing for the other ... make sure you are both very aware of that going in and talk through it the whole time. Building up some giant mess of resentment always ends badly.
In my current situation, I went to university here for 2 years taking intensive language and culture classes and ended up starting my own business. At this point, I'm the one who is far more settled and entrenched than my wife - I will get my equivalent to a permanent resident card next year, and do not plan on giving it up. I found a city and lifestyle that I truly enjoy and has enriched my life and I'm so glad we did it ... but it took time and effort and was certainly not a smooth ride at points.
Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want more information, etc.