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Do you use butt wipes and, if so, what the fuck is wrong with you?

ibleedgoldandblack said:
I remember the You Laugh, You Lose thread where a poster MSPainted his/her moist butt wipe revelation. I believe it was likened to having one's taint tongue washed by a unicorn in a field of flowers on a sunny day.
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Found it:

2294587_700b.jpg
 
So, thought I would mention it, but you can be allergic to something called methylisothiazolinone that is an ingredient in these wipes and if can cause a rash, cracked skin, and itching that could lead one to believe they have some STD or hemorrhoids. Ask how I know.
 
ITK said:
So, thought I would mention it, but you can be allergic to something called methylisothiazolinone that is an ingredient in these wipes and if can cause a rash, cracked skin, and itching that could lead one to believe they have some STD or hemorrhoids. Ask how I know.
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You slept with elc?
 
I just cuddled up with the Cottonelle pup.
 
I'll admit to it. Years of single living has meant that I consumed a lot of beer and fast food. After 40 years, all those assplosions take their toll. Usually, this can be remedied by a couple days of eating salads or adding some fiber to the diet, but you need something to hold you over in the meantime. I got away from wipes because I wasn't using them very often and they'd eventually dry out, plus the discovery of Charmin sensitive TP made the process of shitting a bit easier.

The worst thing about getting old and eating like shit for so many years though isn't getting a sensitive bunghole. It's having to wipe again 10 minutes after you finished your shit for no apparent reason and being dumbfounded at all the dookie that somehow wasn't there 10 minutes prior. I think I may have to give squatty potty a shot.
 
EatLeadCommie said:
I'll admit to it. Years of single living has meant that I consumed a lot of beer and fast food. After 40 years, all those assplosions take their toll. Usually, this can be remedied by a couple days of eating salads or adding some fiber to the diet, but you need something to hold you over in the meantime. I got away from wipes because I wasn't using them very often and they'd eventually dry out, plus the discovery of Charmin sensitive TP made the process of shitting a bit easier.

The worst thing about getting old and eating like shit for so many years though isn't getting a sensitive bunghole. It's having to wipe again 10 minutes after you finished your shit for no apparent reason and being dumbfounded at all the dookie that somehow wasn't there 10 minutes prior. I think I may have to give squatty potty a shot.
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There's an expression for that. It's called "maintenance."
 
2&2 Slider To Leyritz said:
I think that's just marketing bullshit. The ones we had were labeled "flushable" but they still clogged it. Maybe after 85 years they biodegrade, but not in the day or so it takes to go from my commode to my grinder. It was nasty, they were wrapped around the axle of the blades like a shit-covered kudzu vine.
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Why don't you just install a disposal in every bathroom?
 
I had a very painful case of hemorrhoids and used witch hazel wipes. And yes, we had to get our drain pipe snaked. So never again. It's too bad because they feel great and I like how clean I felt.

Hemorrhoids are no joke though. That was my first case...and...I mean...damn.
 
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Brangus said:
I had a very painful case of hemorrhoids and used witch hazel wipes. And yes, we had to get our drain pipe snaked. So never again. It's too bad because they feel great and I like how clean I felt.

Hemorrhoids are no joke though. That was my first case...and...I mean...damn.
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I think we're about in the same boat. Plumbing issues have followed me around (most recently at my office). This thread has been enlightening. I knew there must be a reason why wipes weren't the norm.

I will say, though... I was taking evasive measures to prevent discomfort this past weekend (walking in the heat for 4 days) and I feel it is necessary to provide a PSA.

Never. Ever. Under any circumstance. For any reason. Spray a can of goldbond aerosol spray at your dumpster from a point blank distance. Unless you enjoy having people forcing their way into a private bathroom with you naked and writhing in unimaginable pain on the floor... Which if that's the case, go for it.
 
yes! What people? Why? Deets! deets! Deets!

Also if you like the butt wipes just put em in the trash or leave them on the ground like a normal person
 
Would gold bond powder have caused the same issue? Or just the spray. asking for a friend
 
DeacDiggler said:
Would gold bond powder have caused the same issue? Or just the spray. asking for a friend
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I think just the spray. I have the spray and accidentally got some on my wedding tackle. It burns pretty good!
 
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