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Fairly Epic Goodbye Letter

RaleighDeacon

RaleighDeacon

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So, I just got this forwarded to me. It is a legit "goodbye" letter from someone leaving our company. I have redacted a bit of information, but other than that, I have not changed this at all. Pretty awesome.

Well it is finally my turn to be sooo arrogant that I send a goodbye message to a HUGE alias thinking like more than 2 of them give a crap…wheeeeeeeeeeeee

Also, after finishing reading this please “reply all” with your warmest wishes so once again the other 99.9% of the people who could care less about you or I and happen to be on this alias have to see how nice you are to my goodbye and maybe we can get a email spam thread going (reply all – please remove me from this list……reply all – STOP replying all….) that will crash COMPANY REDACTED servers. If nothing else, it always provides hilarity to the 40% of COMPANY REDACTED that are still part of that saying on your badge “Quality Team”. Anyway, I am hoping it is 40%, I had my days especially the last 5 years or so, where I would see people like FORMER EMPLOYEE or FORMER EMPLOYEE in place and think to myself…..nope we’ve gotten so big we are going for bottom 10% now.

On to the goodbye:

I have been at COMPANY REDACTED for 16 years (6 days) </insert emotionally heartfelt goodbye, good feelings all around, and general good cheer here></end of bs>
And really enjoyed 15 of them, really worked 8, maybe 12 depending on your work ethic, of them, really believed in COMPANY REDACTED for 7.5 of them, really had some good times, but most importantly really met some great all around people, that helped to offset the buttheads I had to put up with other times, really wished HR never invented PC crap so people could have continued to call idiots…idiots; ooops I digress, we have a bigger HR than payroll staff so we all know where COMPANY REDACTED “cares” about.

Tuesday is my last day at COMPANY REDACTED. I can receive your emails to my personal account at: PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS or you can find me on facebook if you know me and have 2 brain cells to rub together.

If you don’t know me, too bad you missed out on a great guy (mwhahahahahaha), if you do know me, I’m sorry you had to put up with me, if you knew me before I hit my 10 year anniversary at COMPANY REDACTED and prior to the HR and PC jerkwads sucking all the fun or putting the FU in fun however you want to look at it, then we probably had some good times and feel free to contact me.

Speaking of anniversaries, I would just like to take this moment to really thank COMPANY REDACTED from the bottom of my heart for giving me 3 GIANT Marbles for 15 years of service, plus the huge plastic stand to go with them. You really let me know what I meant to the company with that one, and to whoever the nepotistic POS in HR is that got their uncle or cousin or whatever the monster paycheck for making giant balls for COMPANY REDACTED…..truly I wish you step in a pile of dog crap every day for a month!

With that goodbye, adieu, auvedersain….ok don’t know how to spell the rest of them. I’m out

I don't know this guy at all, but I want to go find him on Facebook now and see if he will be my friend.
 
Wow.

Was he fired? or just retiring?
 
That's great, I hope to have the balls to send that on my final day
 
he sounds like a giant loser to me. 16 years at a company and still sounds like he was barely over entry level and bitter. and his german is atrocious.
 
i guess i find it more entertaining because my week has been a whole slew of sappy retirement emails. i would have loved to have seen something like this.
 
horrible grammar. killing hr and pc police is lame. everyone agrees except the lawyers.

i liked what my fiance did. she titled her email "It's been real, it's been fun..." then did a short good bye. fill out the rest yourself.
 
buckets said:
he sounds like a giant loser to me. 16 years at a company and still sounds like he was barely over entry level and bitter. and his german is atrocious.
Click to expand...

yarp. "AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT PROMOTION IF IT WEREN'T FOR HR AND MINORITIES!"
 
If your going to send a bitter goodbye email, it better be funny. This was just hard to read and didn't make any sense. He probably deserved to be fired.
 
Did he write it in that color blue too?
 
It was not in blue.

Whatever, I thought it was pretty awesome, but then again, like LBE, I am so over the sappy goodbye emails. It was nice to see someone be honest.
 
Posting pics of the CEO grabbing some receptionist's ass would be epic. This, not so much.
 
RaleighDeacon said:
It was not in blue.

Whatever, I thought it was pretty awesome, but then again, like LBE, I am so over the sappy goodbye emails. It was nice to see someone be honest.
Click to expand...

This is true. I hate it when someone most everyone doesn't know sends one out to the entire region mentioning all of these "special" times and stupid shit. Why can't they just send it out to the 3 people who give a shit.
 
On the internet, we judge people by their writing. His kind of sucks, so we all assume he's just a bitter desk jockey.
 
Stupid; my experience is these things always wind up biting you in the ass.
 
DeacsPop said:
Stupid; my experience is these things always wind up biting you in the ass.
Click to expand...

Hence why I thought it was pretty funny. (and ballsy) But then, I forgot this message board is full of people ripping off epic letters and telling people how it is on a daily basis.
 
is fairly epic similar to very middle class?
 
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