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Finding out one of your best friends is moving away

ImTheCaptain said:
it does suck; especially as an adult
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This. I can look at good friends from other times of life who are now all over and be realistic about how hard it is to keep up with long-distance friends. You know you're moving someone from the bucket of "talk every few days, see you a couple times a month" to the bucket of "talk quarterly, see you once a year."
 
Three years ago I had 10 close friends in DC. I'm down to like two. Stinks.
 
It really stinks. Happened a couple times in the past bit.
 
timthedeac said:
This. I can look at good friends from other times of life who are now all over and be realistic about how hard it is to keep up with long-distance friends. You know you're moving someone from the bucket of "talk every few days, see you a couple times a month" to the bucket of "talk quarterly, see you once a year."
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Yep. My best friend in Tampa moved 8 years ago and I still haven't replaced him. We met at new faculty orientation. I had been here for a year as a post-doc but I was moving into a professor position. He was just starting out. I was talking to the Vice-Provost and told him I was from NC. He said he just met another guy from NC. I went to talk to the other guy and said told him I was from NC, too.

Him: "Where did you go to school?"
Me: "Wake and Duke. You?"
Him: "ECU and State. Carolina sucks."
Me: "Yep."

And we were best friends. One of my favorite memories was riding around first week of class bumping Kanye's "We Major" feeling good about how we finally made it. For three years, we hung out all the time. When I started going out with my wife, she joined the crew and the three of us hung out all the time. When we got married, he was the Best Man of Honor. He was looking to buy a townhouse in our neighborhood that spring then he went to a conference and friend told him about a open job. He interviewed, got it, took it, and moved that summer. When you get married is the absolute worst time to lose your best friend.
 
If my best Portland friend moved right now, I would be absolutely screwed; the last week has been marginally bearable solely because of her. Especially when people step up when you need them, it makes you realize how hugely important good friends are.
 
it sucked when we moved from Maine; we had a really great group of people do stuff with that's been difficult to replicate
 
timdunkandthefunk said:
Three years ago I had 10 close friends in DC. I'm down to like two. Stinks.
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This is my situation. Down to two really good friends and a few decent friends who I don't see that often. The friend that I hung out with the most moved yesterday. I think I'm going to have to be next in line.
 
PhDeac said:
Yep. My best friend in Tampa moved 8 years ago and I still haven't replaced him. We met at new faculty orientation. I had been here for a year as a post-doc but I was moving into a professor position. He was just starting out. I was talking to the Vice-Provost and told him I was from NC. He said he just met another guy from NC. I went to talk to the other guy and said told him I was from NC, too.

Him: "Where did you go to school?"
Me: "Wake and Duke. You?"
Him: "ECU and State. Carolina sucks."
Me: "Yep."

And we were best friends. One of my favorite memories was riding around first week of class bumping Kanye's "We Major" feeling good about how we finally made it. For three years, we hung out all the time. When I started going out with my wife, she joined the crew and the three of us hung out all the time. When we got married, he was the Best Man of Honor. He was looking to buy a townhouse in our neighborhood that spring then he went to a conference and friend told him about a open job. He interviewed, got it, took it, and moved that summer. When you get married is the absolute worst time to lose your best friend.
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I was sure this story was going to end in a devil's threesome.
 
It blows even worse when you live in a small town and they leave. There is no way I can replace this childhood friend. Have known the dude 40 years. He and his family left for NYC so I know he's never coming back.
 
We are the ones that pulled up and left, and it sucks in a similar way for us too.
 
leftcoastdeac said:
We are the ones that pulled up and left, and it sucks in a similar way for us too.
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This was my family growing up so I guess I look at it differently. It sucked back then when I was a kid because I knew I'd be moving every two or three years but nowadays there are so many ways to stay in touch. You still have a cell phone and money, right? Plan a quarterly golf trip or something and keep in touch on the phone. My best friend lives in Dallas and I've lived in Atlanta for 10 years and we talk multiple times a week, sometimes for as little as 20 seconds. The ability to stay connected nowadays is easier than it's ever been.
 
I know you're all just talking about me. I miss you all as well. Oklahoma is super boring (with the exception of the current Thunder playoff run)


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As an army brat growing up, I hated moving, even if I was fairly lucky in that I usually only had to do it every 3-4 years, versus 1-2. But I got used to it, and hell I've kept my friends over the years. Every one of them was in the wedding party, minus one, who happened to be at the wedding anyway because he had recently moved locally. But I consider myself blessed in that regard. Learning how to deal with it early in life made it easier to deal with later, such as when my best friend moved away. Different best friends replace them, but that's no cause to lose what you had. Friends and family are the two most important things in life. There is no excuse to actually "lose" them, especially when it is (as Bears and Deacs says) easier to stay connected now than ever.
 
NoVaDeac said:
I know you're all just talking about me. I miss you all as well. Oklahoma is super boring (with the exception of the current Thunder playoff run)


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Where did you get stuck in OK? I know OKC has a lot more to do than it used to, thanks in large part to Chesapeake and the Thunder. Tulsa I've heard good things about, but oddly enough have never been.
 
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