It's been a tough year. We had some great travel (to the U.K. And Central America) which was fun and I had a good year professionally (published 4 papers, had three others accepted, graduated a couple students) ...but it was a really tough year parenting. My older daughter is 10, and after 4 years and three different therapists we finally broke down and came to terms with the fact that she has depression. It was one awful episode after another involving running away, self harm, punching a baby sitter and attacking me several times. Thing are improving now that she is on medication but we are still worried everyday about what is going to set her off next. Even today, Christmas Day, when after receiving a pile Christmas presents she had a crying fit over the fact that her sister's presents were bigger than hers.
How Was Your 2016?
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HailToTheDeacons
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My 2016 in the Pit was awesome. I won the Sheep Treble and made the Finals of Pit League One.
Next year I'll work on winning a CT or two.
Next year I'll work on winning a CT or two.
DownEastDeac
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First time I've posted anything about this on the board, but it being Christmas Day (and me being pretty well into the wine) what the hell:
We lost our 27 y/o son to a heart attack back on 7/31. It's been totally devastating and heart-breaking, but thru the support of family, a loving and caring church, and friends (including our WFU tailgating crew) we're hanging in there. There was no joy or merriment this Christmas, but in a strange way it was one of our best ever; lots of love, comfort and overall a sense of peace. I would never wish this on anyone, but if you're faced with such, p.m. me and I'll be glad to share what has kept us from saying "eff it" and drop it all for a hut in Tahiti or somewhere.
By the way, for all those people who have told me "I can't imagine what you're going thru" my response has been "if you love your children (and we all do) you have a pretty good idea of what we're experiencing" So hug 'em tight and enjoy every day we have together on this planet.
We lost our 27 y/o son to a heart attack back on 7/31. It's been totally devastating and heart-breaking, but thru the support of family, a loving and caring church, and friends (including our WFU tailgating crew) we're hanging in there. There was no joy or merriment this Christmas, but in a strange way it was one of our best ever; lots of love, comfort and overall a sense of peace. I would never wish this on anyone, but if you're faced with such, p.m. me and I'll be glad to share what has kept us from saying "eff it" and drop it all for a hut in Tahiti or somewhere.
By the way, for all those people who have told me "I can't imagine what you're going thru" my response has been "if you love your children (and we all do) you have a pretty good idea of what we're experiencing" So hug 'em tight and enjoy every day we have together on this planet.
vtwhat etc
Historically Competitive
Yikes. Can't imagine the 'feels' that come along with this.
It sounds a lot like my nephew at that age (and before). He's 13 now and has matured greatly in the past two years. His issues seemed like classic NPD stuff, but with time/care/attention things have become a lot more manageable.
Good luck with everything and Merry Christmas; sorry it's been a tough one!
So sorry for your loss and will certainly take your advice to heart. Had that vague thought as I was writing my own response on the thread but your post drove it home - getting a few nice things over the year was inconsequential in the big picture. Looking back, the trips to transport kids didn't seem all that great at the time but time with then and seeing their accomplishments were actually the greatest parts of the year.
Wow. My parenting issues seem so trivial. Good luck to you both. I hope she's on a better long term path with professional help and the right medications. Dealing with kid issues big and small, can be so taxing and hard. So much harder than dealing with our own issues.
DownEastDeac
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Grace and peace to you and your family. My son loved WFU, but the "Work Forest" reputation shied him away; the boy didn't want to kill himself just to get a "hook" when he could get an A or B for half the work and half the price at a state university. So in spite of being accepted by UNC and NCSU, he chose APP in large part b/c he could get a good education and have a strong football program while still being a solid Demon Deacon fan.
Sorry to hear about your daughter. Coming to terms with something like this is very hard. We have a 27 yr. old son who suffers from depression. His diagnoses followed treatment of a genetic condition known as FAP. In short, he needed to have a total colectomy the summer after he graduated from high school. We were focused on the surgeries and probably didn't pay enough attention to the psychological challenges that triggered his depression. The good news is that he's working full time at a surveying firm that offers great benefits. He's told me that the only time he's happy is when he's working so I suppose that's better than the other way around. Of course I worry about how he'll deal with the ups and downs that are experienced during any life. On the other hand, my daughter who also has FAP, came through it all without suffering from depression. She is now a senior in college and will graduate in May with a degree in Nursing and a minor in Public Administration. She made one B during her college career and will graduate with close to a 4.0 GPA.
After all we've been through the one thing I can say for sure is that it's important to know what your faced with. You've made a pretty big step by coming to terms with your daughter's condition early. Everything gets easier after you accept the fact that your normal is going to be different from everybody else's normal. We benchmark our happiness against our own experiences. Using that gauge, I have to say 2016 was a terrific year. I hope you and your family have the same good fortune in the years ahead.
You are right around the corner. I'm in Land harbor.
For those of you dealing with mental health issues with your kids, I'll add some personal information that may give you some hope. My oldest is now 25. When she was 15/16 she was diagnosed with PTSD after turning in a schoolmate for making threats to bring a gun to school and shoot kids. This was right around the VT shootings and although she did the right thing the other kids turned on her and she received repeated death threats to her and us (family) from the kid she turned in. She ended up in the Psychiatrist's office, on meds, having hallucinations, etc. One night we had to confine her to a hospital room for her own safety. She ended up graduating from App with a double major in risk management and finance and was offered a great job in the insurance industry. She is in a long term healthy relationship and is kicking ass at work and life. So don't give up hope. They can move beyond things and figure out how to cope.
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We both took new jobs, with increased $$, but increased stress. That is a wash.
We did get pregnant much sooner than we expected, and we get to welcome a baby come April, so pretty darn good.
We did get pregnant much sooner than we expected, and we get to welcome a baby come April, so pretty darn good.
Love that neighborhood and drive by there all the time. We ended up in the Upper Creek Acres neighborhood. Mercury Dime and I catch up for fly fishing every now and then if you want to join us sometime.
Very encouraging to hear of your daughter's success and progress, too.
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Anytime your fishing up here and need some company just let me know. I can also get you on our private water but it's really just a glorified trout pond as we stock several times a year.
That sounds great. Let's try for this Spring. Will be in touch. On my end, I have some access to the National Forest that would spare us a tough hike to some wild water but the terrain once in there is still rugged. That offer is open, as well.
HeltonCreek
Well dang!
-My folks moved to the area last November to be closer to me, my sister, and her family (the grand-kids are the real reason they moved, I'm under no illusions there) so I've been able to spend more time with them this year.
-I've spent a decent amount of time fly-fishing around the area.
-I started a new job in August. I'm busier than at my last one but it's good and I'm enjoying it. It's local government work so not too stressful.
-I wasn't thrilled with the election results but life goes on. Republicans have control of the house, senate, and presidency now so it's on them. Like my dad said, we may be just giving them enough rope to hang themselves.
-I've spent a decent amount of time fly-fishing around the area.
-I started a new job in August. I'm busier than at my last one but it's good and I'm enjoying it. It's local government work so not too stressful.
-I wasn't thrilled with the election results but life goes on. Republicans have control of the house, senate, and presidency now so it's on them. Like my dad said, we may be just giving them enough rope to hang themselves.