• Welcome to OGBoards 10.0, keep in mind that we will be making LOTS of changes to smooth out the experience here and make it as close as possible functionally to the old software, but feel free to drop suggestions or requests in the Tech Support subforum!

Jack Handey

"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."
 
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
 
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
 
"If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say."

"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."
 
"I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him."
 
I had no idea this guy was a real person.
 
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava let them go because, man, they're gone."
 
I too thought he was just a skit on SNL - even when I opened this thread I thought, "that is weird to have the same name as that character from SNL."
 
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, 'Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that.
 
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