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JHMD Correspondence Repository

S

Shooshmoo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 4, 2011
Messages
12,463
Reaction score
2,168
Location
Right here
I propose that this be the location where JHMD writes and memorializes his sarcastic letters from himself, various historical characters throughout our history, and personified feelings and other amorphous entities.

If others want to take a shot at a letter -- you'll obviously not reach the level of the master -- feel free. Or if JHMD writes a letter that does not make it here, feel free to send it over so the joy can be captured.

I see this as a time capsule that Deacons 30 years from now will open up. I wish I could see their faces as they wonder in amazement at the rapist wit and sarcastic humor daggers on display.
 
Dear Board,

Anyone who disagrees with me is stupid. There are only two types of people: those who think precisely as I do, and people who are stupid. Please make a note of our binary system.

XOXOXOXO,

PhDeac
 
Sig,

Your long and uphill battle against truth and reason are an inspiration to us all.

Thank you,

jhmd2000
 
Dear Liberal Pinko Commies,

Stop ruining my life!!!

Sincerely,
keeper
 
Dear RJ,

Thank you for the best night of my life. All of those other pussies wouldn't talk to me at the bar but you have the chutzpah to come and chat.

Love,

Dyan Cannon
 
Dear Anon Neg Rep,

Gotdam I miss you! I have now been forced to subject myself to anon neg tagging. Just not the same -- do you know how few characters I get? I can't quit you anon neg rep, you complete me!

Forever yours,

Lonely conservative anon neg taggers.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Go
Shoo needs to be happy. Click on this video Shoo. It will make you happy.

 
Last edited:
Dear Mr. Karl,

Our records show that we have erroneously sent you welfare checks for the last 15 years even though there is no concrete evidence that you have looked for or possessed a job during that time. As such, we are discontinuing your govenment support and you will be billed for the back overages. On a side note, while researching this matter, everyone had a good laugh at your attempt at a Linkedin page.

Sincerely,

The California Department of Welfare Services.
 
Dear Attention,

I just love you so much. I'll do anything for you. If you want me to start dumb threads on a message board, I'll do it. Just say the word.

Yours forever,

Shooshmoo (aka "Shoompee")
 
Dear Attention Whore:

Is it permissible under the Attention Whore Code of Conduct for someone with 14,467 posts (likely more than 100,000 total posts in his history), and who is well known as the Board's only black dude (even though I don't think he is), to call someone (with 1447 posts -- ten times fewer) an attention whore based on their message board posting habits?

Nice ass,

Shoo



Dear Shoo:

No.

Love,

80564083.png
 
Those with less attention must whore to get it.
 
Go said:
Dear RJ,

Thank you for the best night of my life. All of those other pussies wouldn't talk to me at the bar but you have the chutzpah to come and chat.

Love,

Dyan Cannon
Click to expand...

This and the cookie monster song made me laugh. Now I'll go send that song to my niece.
 
Dear Playboy Advisor,

My boyrfriend Shoo seems like the most miserable person on the planet. I try giving him handies, but he just sits there and cries. When we make love, he is distant and mumbles incoherent things about Antonin Scalia and fascist neocons. The only time he ever seems quiet and content is when we have our friends RJ and BKF over for group sex and he gets to fellate them. At that moment, he is like a babe at his mother's teat ingesting the soothing milk of knowledge. Please help me. I feel like I'm being stepped on and ignored.

Sincerely,

Shoo's "Shoe"
 
EatLeadCommie said:
Dear Playboy Advisor,

My boyrfriend Shoo seems like the most miserable person on the planet. I try giving him handies, but he just sits there and cries. When we make love, he is distant and mumbles incoherent things about Antonin Scalia and fascist neocons. The only time he ever seems quiet and content is when we have our friends RJ and BKF over for group sex and he gets to fellate them. At that moment, he is like a babe at his mother's teat ingesting the soothing milk of knowledge. Please help me. I feel like I'm being stepped on and ignored.

Sincerely,

Shoo's "Shoe"
Click to expand...

:bowrofl:
 
EatLeadCommie said:
Dear Playboy Advisor,

My boyrfriend Shoo seems like the most miserable person on the planet. I try giving him handies, but he just sits there and cries. When we make love, he is distant and mumbles incoherent things about Antonin Scalia and fascist neocons. The only time he ever seems quiet and content is when we have our friends RJ and BKF over for group sex and he gets to fellate them. At that moment, he is like a babe at his mother's teat ingesting the soothing milk of knowledge. Please help me. I feel like I'm being stepped on and ignored.

Sincerely,

Shoo's "Shoe"
Click to expand...


wow. shoo is a pretty sad dude. i really do feel bad for him.
 
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