pretty good:
(Guide for rival fans: )
Hello rival fan, and welcome to VCURamNation.com! You're no doubt here because Twitter is blowing up with reports of our awesome coach, Shaka Smart, and how he [was offered/is considering/has accepted] an offer from your university to become your head coach. Because we've done this before with [NC State / Maryland / Georgia Tech / Illinois / Minnesota / UCLA / Marquette] we thought we'd create this helpful guide to transition you more smoothly from the hope you're feeling right now to your inevitable disappointment. Be realistic. He turned down UCLA. You really think he's going to come coach for you?
You may be wondering, "But what does VCU have to offer that my university does not?" Are you from a bottom feeder university in a big name conference? Now now, be honest! Are you a university in a conference that used to be the creme de la creme but has fallen on hard times recently? That's what I thought. Did your university fire your previous head coach after two seasons because he failed to turn around your ailing program? Bad form, that.
VCU is a beautiful urban university in the wonderful city of Richmond, VA. You should visit sometime, you'll really enjoy it. We certainly love it here, and Shaka has - on every occasion possible - made it clear how much he loves it here. I know, that's what they all say. It's probably what your coach said before he [was fired/left for a better job]. Shaka says it so often we've actually come to believe him. Perhaps he's just saying it, but his wife says it too. And his super cute daughter seems to like it as well, which is really what matters.
On top of that, Shaka has continued VCU's winning tradition, a tradition that started under Jeff Capel and continued under Anthony Grant. Capel left for Oklahoma and failed and Grant left for Alabama and failed. Do you really think Shaka hasn't looked at those two and wondered if he was next? He's an excellent coach and will likely succeed at any school he goes to... but people said the same thing about our two coaches who preceded him. Shaka also really likes that VCU does not have and has no plans to invest in football. Does your school play football? Is football the top dog on campus? Uh oh... Shaka really likes that our Homecoming is at a men's basketball game.
I know you probably won't be persuaded by all this, and I don't blame you. Shaka Smart is an excellent coach, and you're right to lust after him. I just wanted to warn you - to plant the seed of doubt in your mind - so that when VCU gets around to it and denies the Twitter rumors you aren't too crushed. I don't bear you any ill will. You wanted to hire our coach - you thought you had a right to hire him. After all, who is VCU? "It's cute what they've done, but we are [________]! Who could say no to us if we came calling?"
Shaka Smart, unfortunately.
See you next season, and good luck in your coaching search! I hope your second choice says yes.
